aka... to those who crave limelight


There seems to be this growing
social stigma
for individuals to need to
acquire the attention of others
and hit a homerun.

This very desire can lead one to ruin.

You see,
if you want to stand out so much
it will only be a matter of time before you do, one way or another.  
And to stand out is to separate one's self, and eventually enough separation
leads to...

...isolation...

...and then you're alone,
amongst your own,
and you will have put yourself there!

The trick to winning within the tribe,
is to become one of the tribe,
and be one with the tribe.

That's all

Easy.  ;^)

Of all the people I've come across, I find myself to be the least deserving of any.  I can put put my heart on a sleeve to lure you in and then sntach your own heart right out from under you.  I have no idea why I do this but it is time for it to stop.

I just met this gal a month and a half back.  She is so ******' cool, it was hard not to share every moment that she turned to look into my eyes.  I just don't think I am ready.  She could do it, though.  Definitely a possibility.

She is thin and masculine looking at the same time.  She just might have the most perfect looking face I have ever seen.  Symmetrical to a T, perfect.  She has a girl next door look without the innocence.  Just enough sculpting to her jaw and chin, her points are obvious and rounded just enough so as not to be pointy.  Her cheek bones are not highly pronounced, she's not too cute looking.  There is a balance of wisdom and playfulness in her eyes.  She has class, high class, in my opinion.

She did a little stretch at the end of the night, I paid no attention.  God how I wanted to look, I knew better, now is not the time to look.  Now is the time to appear interesting and interested on a platonic level.  The class, the friends, all of it.  She came to sit with me, I was in heaven for a few hours tonight.  I could easily allow myself to want someone again.  How powerful is that?

I could be on the road to recovery.

They live here, it is not just their home and backyard.  It is their playpen as well as their church.  It is provider and sustainer, their Mother.  They own it and it owns them.  You and I may visit, we may stay as long as we like, partake in the beauty, become inspired by its vastness and variety, and then move on.  They live here, always.  Even when they can't be here they take the forest into their dwelling to keep the spirit alive within.  Yes they live here full time, the forests are always on their mind, always calling to them, reminding them.  You and I check in from time to time, they live here.

It was my last swig
  before I hit the gallows
of a slumber
   not too far mistaken
as an escape from the
   void and emptyness
of a lover's life's dreams.

All be it!

... is not misgivin',
     but mistrusted
in a lame being's spirit mind.

Shadows dance
in the candles shimmer
warming the room
with cinnamon grounds

Soft rhythms
playing to a background
of lovers moans
and slapping pounds

Solid drinks
peppering our tounges
and burn in chest
going down

Sheets of white
feel even softer
by the touch of skin,
light brown

She looks into me,
licks her lips
with curls of auburn
dangling down.

Saying goodbye
to such sweet times
quelled only by
a new love
in a new town.

Big souls come in little packages.  
If she's 50 kg then I'm the pope.
An elfin looking Buddhist,
mother, entrepreneur, musician,
and a total goddess of class.

Our eyes met, essences shared,
hearts touched.  
She"s ready, I'm not.
******!