I will not allow myself to wake up in this carousel world of marching ants that wake up every morning and do something they hate.

ripples in the pond-
  fat toad on a skinny rock
  i wish he would croak

r 6/26/14

i bet away the last of my money tonight
but I don’t mind
I bet away our love everyday
and you’re still here
so maybe itl come around in time
its not that I don’t care
about you
or money
its that I take risks
because if a risk comes back
to be in my favor
then I know
with time, you’ll come back
and be here forever

If every beer I've finished tonight
were a finished poem
then I'd have a years worth of writing
but unfortunately
my pen just hasn't been flowing.
My minds been uneasy/
Fingers have been trembling/
Nerves never ending/
and its just been hard.
I cant seem to force all the words
that are stuck in my eyes, ears, and nose
to travel out my mouth.
So for now I'll just crack another beer
and hope the words will finally appear.

I awoke at 4am
searching frantically
for a cigarette
that i dropped in a dream
i started digging for the ashes
hoping they hadn't set fire
to my lovers arms
that lay next to me
but the only thing I found
was her telling me
that I was going crazy
and I couldn't agree more.

It's fascinating seeing the same worn out faces
on the train
Day after day
Like a routine
Always the same sad look
same baggy eyes
burnt out from too much coffee
It's always the same dull smirk
on the few that are happy
Like a routine
The days don't change
I bet some of these people
Will die on this train
And before I know it
I'm out the doors
And off on the same routine
With tired eyes
And a worn out smile.