I have written enough to fill libraries about you.
I have painted enough to fill a museum or two.
I tried capturing worlds with words and universes with brushstrokes and everything in-between.
Did you know there are over a million words in the English language? And only 10 million shades can the human eye see.
I didn’t. It took your presence to realize there were so few words to describe your eyes,
And your absence made me notice every shade of gray caught in the damp morning light.
Flowers will grow from the dirt beneath my ribs and the world will die a million times over before I forget to write about you.
I hope you don’t stay forever, but I pray my words do.

Inhale exhale
Counting breaths
Can’t stop the thoughts from
Flooding.
Have to stop the thoughts from
Flooding.
Before the day begins.
Before feet hit the floor.
Inhale exhale
Counting breaths
The only way to
Calm the mind.
Inhale exhale
Can’t stop the mind
Can’t stop the mind from
Running.
Lengthen breath-
Inhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 exhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Inhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 exhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
The thoughts fly in one ear
And out the other.
Out **** thoughts.
Out I say.
Relax the feet
Relax the ankles
Relax the calves
Relax the knees
Relax the thighs
Relax the hips
Relax the stomach
Relax the chest
Relax the shoulders
Relax the neck
Relax the mouth
Relax the face
Relax the mind
Relax the mind
Inhale Exhale
Relax the mind
Relax the mind
Exhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…

He’s begging me not to leave
and in my head
I’ve already went over a
thousand scenarios
He tells me it’s possible
for two people to be on the
exact
same
page
but I don’t know if he realizes the difference between his eyesight
and my own
we see through the same optical anatomy but his vision
will
always
be
blurry
without his glasses
We can both read the same words but through
different vision
we can glue our fingertips together but the prints
would never line up
He can press his hips to mine
but there are separate galaxies growing
inside
of
us
We can sleep aside each other
we could tangle the ends of our hair together
and touch our foreheads
in our slumber
but we will never share our dreams
The lines in a poem could have
a
thousand
different
interpretations
I wish you could realize
that doesn’t mean
any one of those meanings
is wrong

You are my blind eye
to my skin stretched tight against my worn bones
always too sensitive to the cold
I laid my insecurities
out side by side
captioned in full detail
as real as sight
And you canceled each one out as your fingers dragged along my thighs
You are tickles in my nose
from the smell of smoke, the longing for a drag
When Ive always turned my nose
Maybe I just want to get close
closer
become the very matter of your bones
hold you in more places than just my dreams
I want to think of you
when I think of
Home

it came into my hands and I waited
then I lost it in the sand
now I comb the coast each day
but it eludes me, mocks my meticulousness and pierces my soles
and my smile box gets emptier every day

a treasure chest without a key is like a ship without a wheel

I re-read the letter I wrote
And crossed out everytime I said
"I can't"
And "you're wrong"
I've grown so weary
Of growing weary
I've left my heart and mouth closed
For too long
From now on my eyes will search the sky for the sun
Even when it's hiding for the sake of the moon
I want to blister in it's rays
Or not feel it's heat all all
My heart and skin anticipate
The strike of noon
I've detangled the knots in my stomach
I've combed through the bitter insecurities
I'm not trembling out of fear anymore
Rather shaking off the demons
I don't want to do anything by half again
I don't want mediocre love
I want to drown in someone
When I do out of fear
I am not doing at all
If I don't live for me
I don't live for anyone
I can't keep claiming I tiptoe through the feelings I tread on
And lately I've been stomping
But so off beat
Thought I was jumping to your music
But I was dragging my feet
Im parting ways with every bad habit
That leaves my emotions written in my actions
Like Braille
Closing up in my head and biting my nails
I've fallen in love
With words
And your eyes
I will interpret the poem
Hiding somewhere between your irises and soft sighs
Id drop my phone
And get lost in you like a book
The thing that always brought me solstice
Has lately been overlooked
Im diving into your pages
Paying attention to every like
Remember the warnings not to leave a book open
Or you'll damage it's spine
I'll leave you breathless but never blind
You need your eyes to read into these words
I'll dim my lights and finish this story even if I have to read all night