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When people ask me how I’m doing
I always say “I’m Fine.”
I wish I wouldn’t lie
While looking at their eyes
I wish they’d read my pain
And tell me “Everything will be Ok”
That I am not alone
That I won’t try to **** myself
When I am home
My thoughts are suffocating me
Like a bag over my head
Humanity teaches us how to hate
How to judge and hold a grudge
No one teaches when we are broken
When we feel happiness is stolen
We turn from fire to dust
And when we’re gone
People get hurt and call us selfish
For not giving them a sign
Yet we shared our crying
Every time we spoke
Every time we wrote
We bled with every movement
Pain was our greatest company
People see a weak sad person
While we are what you made of us
Broken souls
Empty souls
Trying to fill the void
Trying to hold a grip
Trying to survive
The horror around us
When we try to open up
Some people don’t believe
They say it’s all just a bad dream
Tomorrow it will be better
Things will get better
Though I want to be ok
Not tomorrow, but today
What if it’s my last day?
What if I don’t make it?
You can’t just squish something and not expect to break it
We are fighting a war within our heads
Our biggest weapon is to exist
Don’t tell us rough times will pass
Or to stop living on the past
Hold our hand and listen
for a cry of help.
Today
I am alive
Today
I feel like being alive
Today
I feel not at my best
But
I feel a little less heavy than yesterday.
Never seek to tell thy love
Love that can never told be
For the gentle winds do move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told thy
I told thy all my heart
Trembling, cold in ghastly fears.

Ah! She did depart!

Soon as she were gone from me
A traveler did come by,
Silently, invisibly,
He took her with a sigh.
Just an elevator man
If he had a name he never said
Among few words were what floor
Pushing buttons, sliding doors

It wasn't like he wasn't the pleasent type
Everyone enjoyed the ride
Had a way with a smile
Could make a junkyard dog give up his growl

The years all pass in a dying breath
Steals your soul, don't give it back
With the old joke that we all know
Life has its ups and downs he often told

As he started to wear they bought him a chair
Just within reach of the buttons there
Some days though he'd be asleep
Happens more and more quite frequently

That's why no one knew that he'd been dead
A month of Sundays the coriner said
He'd passed away they believe
Somewhere between floor 1 and floor 19

The tenets now help themselves out
Thinking of the one that never said much out loud
Just an elevator man
If he had a name, he never said
When she left I wanted to die,
But inside I was already dead,
As I'd run and hide--
With every poem that I'd shred,
I'd get really high every night,
And smoke pack after pack of cigarettes--
As it's been with only her on my mind,
My heart no longer resides in my chest,
For since she has left,
All I've wanted to do is die,
But inside I was already dead
I have come to accept that things will change, no matter how much we try that from happening. In that process sometimes we loose ourselves trying to remain the same but this is part of evolution and growth. I am willing to accept that there are doors and paths that I must leave behind. We must be willing to accept not only the change around but the one within us. When we accept what we have the veil from our eyes and the chains in our heart will dissapear. Life will become less heavy since we are the ones that make it hard. Learn, trascend and love
A bruma carnívora e ameaçadora
Enreda cousas furiosas, degrada os rios
Em histerismo tortuoso dos campos sombrios
No relógio que encrava a besta afora

O sangue regela, crânio funéreo estoura
Entoando cânticos gemedores aos navios
Retumba meus cabelos em ais bravios
Como cristal,  febril, uma vigília fria e aterradora

Vazeia o corpo anêmico morto sob rapistro
Aos paradoxais lábios, bela vastidão complexa
Docemente sangra e chora ferida ao medo

Ó eterna! Esbravejando um fulgor sinistro
Na dualidade catastrófica da quimera desconexa
Falta às florestas como fruto que desvai cedo
2015
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