I crossed the street
I saw you
But no
You are miles away
But I was sure
I was wrong
My mind plays games
Is this what age does to a man?
Memories become now
The mind plays games
The heart always looses

Steep steps and high walls
Uneven sidewalk and potholed roads
Missing tiles and leaking roof
All to be afraid of
Broken lamps and shadows hide
The fears that control our souls at night
Swinging like a fly screen door
Noises that make the senses cold
Afraid of stone
Afraid of wood
Broken glass and shutters thud
All it was it is no more
Architecture haunts your thoughts

I walked and walked as Basil played
bouncing towards the rushing waves.
I don't think he had seen the sea and expected to walk upon its sheen.
Such simple pleasure with his stick, his spirit free as he runs to me.
Three days on he has settled now, no sheep to tempt him to run amock.
His coat as white as the driven snow yet fear sometimes is all he shows.
Travellers long since gone, did this lurcher so much harm.
From Ruthin now to seaside town his luck has changed he's found a home.
His foster mum gave him a chance knowing one day I'd come along.
I wonder does he think in Welsh? As he runs in circles as he plays.
Wales it seems doth rule today as a soul seemed to call out to me!
This time a Gypsy of a different kind triggered something in my mind.
I don't know why or maybe I do was it Karma of spirit? Or a simple truth?
For a day swathed with memories made and smiles abound as night closes in.
Tomorrow it may have been a dream, or dawn may bring better things.
Stranger still I can't explain today I just saw good in things.
Good when for so long I'd known was the pain and cruelty that others cause.
Yet in simple words and very few, and a dogs heart I saw through.
I saw a Something I can't explain and I want it now every day.

I was never all there!
I heard that so often.
He isn't listening, I couldn't hear you with all the noise.
I once heard a teacher describe me, He has an intermittent short circuit.
Thirty years ago I was just classed as uninterested or lazy or simply thick!
Sometimes it threw me back to reset.
I was lost and confused, you hugged me I lashed out.
I remember building a space station at School when others saw a freak.
Sometimes I would just jump to a different program, you call it ADHD now.
It was self defence.
But sometimes on special days it threw me into the future.
People spoke like I was in another time or another universe.
But none of you could see them.
I often asked them "Hello, who am I?"
They just smiled.
I don't know if I'm better or worse or understand more.
I no longer ask.

All I could hear was my heartbeat deafening in my ear as I lay upon the pillow and held back the tears.
A thousand thoughts all mixed up, not one made any sense and you just sit there staring, at me in my bed.
You're always there, never far and a plague upon my life.
Whenever things are bad you make them worse at night.
Never wanted always here, oh where did you come from. The cursed black dog !
BE GONE! BE GONE! BE GONE!

I want to be locked in a closet next to you and feel your breath on my cheek.
I want you to wake and look for me and know today will be okay.
When you look at a view, turn to share it with me.
Tell me all you have to say, then fall asleep with me each day.
Look at your phone and laugh out loud, when you read the nonsense that I've sent.
Pinch my *** as I walk past, declaring it yours and making it known that other women can find their own.
Fall asleep and dream away for you I can wait another day.

There have always been silences
You never hear them begin
How can you?
In the morning,
coming home,
at dinner.
He's tired, she's stressed
It creeps in.
It grows
Then one day an explosion
The silences are gone
Rage replaced them
Anger and spite fill its spaces
The silences?
They simply left,
With me