It is so ******* hard
to smile sometimes.
It is so ******* hard
to wear a mask.
It cracks up, very often,
and there's so much
that I fake.

But then there's you.
You see what's underneath
and I don't have to
fake it anymore

because

there's a monster
hidden there
and you're not scared
and I've never been
so much
alright before.

all i ask for
is your hand
in my hand;
your chest
pressed to my back;
your thighs to my thighs;
our tangled ankles
and your lips
at the nape of my neck.

and i'm so happy
with just
as much.

Cold air.
Laughter.
Awkwardness.
It's March.

The wind is blowing
and my heart's
about to turn
to dust,
and butterflies -
I want to **** them
so there's only
us.

The world's reduced
to cold March air
and thumping hearts,
and maddened butterflies,
and our uneven breathing,
and a kiss and
us.

Breathe me in.
Cover me with kisses.
Take me, I am yours.
Put me back together
when I'm falling apart.

Hold me and heal me,
my soul and my body,
hold me, protect me,
kiss all of my scars.

We are so floating
when I cuddle in,
and I wish you'd
never go

because who's to
glue together
all the scattered
pieces?

i've slowly crept to the edge of insanity
there is no going back
i'm staring into the abyss
of what i'll never be and never have

i think i'm wounded
i think i might be bleeding
i think i am as good as dead

i think i've lost the ability
to tell what's real and what's not
i don't think i can think
but sure as hell i'm lost

and wild rivers of blood
flow underneath
my transparent skin
i once almost drowned
the feeling's akin

i long for relief
i long for that sort
of peaceful redemption
i'm tired of grief
so where's my salvation?

razor-sharp edges
gleam through the dark
my skin is itching
as i fall apart

rivers are flowing
on old wooden boards
another soul broken
so where is your god?

when i met you
you were broken
and thrown away
like a toy that's been played with
and ditched

you were hurt
and decayed
and mocked
and pointed at
and put down

they made fun of you
and like stray dogs
****** on your happiness
they chewed on your bones
and made you feel like you
were nothing

and you were crying
because you used to
have a cute cactus in a
ceramic ***
and you used to hold it close to you
when they hurt you
but it was stolen
*

look at me, you beautiful creature
look at me, you vulnerable soul

i'll wrap you up in the blanket of
my sweet loving
i will fix the toy that was broken
and paint it in fresh colours
and never ever play with it
because you're art
and art should be inspiring (which you are)
and cherished (which i'll make sure you will be)

and i will put you on a pedestal
and show you how amazing you are
and make you forget
about all the ******* you've gone through

and i'll give you a new
cute little cactus in a ceramic ***
because who said
you're not allowed to get
a second one in a lifetime?

i really wish i could do something
to show you that you
matter
that you are so much more
than your body
that you are simply
a bird in a cage
a lovely, beautiful soul
trapped in a meaningless box
to show you that you are
your brilliant mind
and your way with words
and your heart
i wish i could show you
that you are
a glamorous pearl
in the wrong shell

Depression is like a bottomless hole
Depression is wanting to go home when you're already there
Depression is being alone surrounded by friends
Depression is laughing the loudest while being the saddest

Depression is a bottomless hole
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
Depression is an invisible force that pulls you deep down into the hole

When you're at the edge of the hole
Looking down into it
The force grabs you by your feet and pulls you down
And the more you go down
More strength you need to climb up
And less will you have to do so

Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Don't let it pull you down completely
Do not reach the bottom