Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Lane Spanner Jan 2016
We've both got a million bad habits we don't tell anyone.
Not sleeping is one.
The nightmares that keep us from sleeping is another one.
When we're not holding hands, you snap your fingers.
I snap my fingers.
You rip those nasty skin next to your nails with your teeth.
I chew on my knuckles.
You put your hands between your thighs.
I use my fingers to tap on stuff.
When I'm frustrated, I hurt myself.
I punch the wall.
I punch myself.
You bite your lip.
I bite my lip.
We bite our lips until we bleed.
Maybe one day we can calm our lips down the same way we calm down our hands.
Lane Spanner Mar 2015
My hands shake as I place a letter on the kitchen counter
My heart beats fast as I leave and lock the door behind me
My legs tremble as I go down the stairs and I almost fall
I text my best friend "done".

I sit on the school stairs, waiting
Butterflies in my stomach fly around
Not butterflies, fireflies
Fireflies, burning me inside with anxiety

The phone vibrates
"I've read it and I'm proud of you. Our parents are reading now and they say they love you no matter what"
Acid kills the fireflies and everything calms down around me
I did it.
It's not that hard after you do it really. Even with the possibility of everything going wrong, you feel relieved
Lane Spanner Mar 2014
Under the covers of ourselves,
Our souls hide.
Covered behind lies,
Our real selves lie.
Fear and insecurity,
Hidden behind walls.
And yet, you know how to walk them through
And you know every stone of my walls,
The same way I knew yours.
You drew me out of my covers
And now you left me.
You went away,
Away with my security,
Away with my soul.
So I find myself crawling back to my covers,
Inside again.
I will never come out.
I won't let myself be crushed again,
I won't give my soul away again.
Lane Spanner Mar 2014
Depression is like a bottomless hole
Depression is wanting to go home when you're already there
Depression is being alone surrounded by friends
Depression is laughing the loudest while being the saddest

Depression is a bottomless hole
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
Depression is an invisible force that pulls you deep down into the hole

When you're at the edge of the hole
Looking down into it
The force grabs you by your feet and pulls you down
And the more you go down
More strength you need to climb up
And less will you have to do so

Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Don't let it pull you down completely
Do not reach the bottom
Lane Spanner Mar 2014
You’re close to me
Your perfume, filling my lungs
I can’t breathe, because it smells so good
It hurts

The pain of your smell in my heart
When I lay down
Thinking about you

The way you trick me
Into thinking you love me back
Sometimes I forget he’s the one who stole your heart
And I believe you

You say “come closer”
And there I go
I get close to you
And your smell, it fills my lungs
It takes my breath away
You’re killing me
Lane Spanner Feb 2014
And with those infinite jests
You **** me slowly

You seem to do them on purpose,
Slowly making me love you more and more
With those infinite jests

The way you look at me
With your bright, shining eyes laughing at me
For I can't have them

The way you touch my face smiling,
Scoffing me, too awkward to return your jests,
Scoffing my strongest desire

If only I could have you,
If only I could return your jests

And with those infinite jests
You **** me slowly

— The End —