I was talking.
I was falling.
And then I was dreaming.
About you, about me, us.
About life, where I wasn't, where I should be.
Then I was awoken.
Not under the covers.
Not in my bed.
On the cold hard floor.
Where the lights were blinding, shifting, hot.
Where everyone looked at me worried, whispered, stared.
This has happened before.

It's nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing more than a dreamt reality.
Nothing more than a place I wish I never had waken up from
How long will it be until someone wakes me again?

Waves crash like this,
Building force of water
Grinding in pattern-like motion
Pushing bodies up towards the surface
Gasping for air
Crashing into reality
Where the ocean meets the sky
Feeling the surroundings
then
Settling
Like a decrescendo
Shaking out evenly
Leaving with a fear
Of what comes next
But we all know
It will be a wave that crashes
Differently,
But like this.

I always have this fear
It hides underneath
In between my ribs
Reminding me it's there
It tugs in my chest
It whispers up through my throat
To my vocal chords
To the outside of my lips
And in front of my eyes
Looking directly through me
Making everything vanish in my mind
I startle awake and
It's you.

You surprised me
Roman Holiday, my favorite
We watched
Talked
Felt your lips pressed on mine
Messy tongues
Each movement gliding with ease
Fingertips flutter and slide
And across my cheeks
Eskimo kisses make me blush a lot
Tugging your shirt for fear of letting you go
Are we moving too fast?
Never.
Please don't leave yet.

I felt bad for the lonely, uneaten popcorn.

You definitely see me
In your line of sight
My shy eyes look for contact
with your wandering ones.

You cannot hear my voice reach
the depth of your ear drums
it's soft I know
but I won't speak louder.

I can't
I think too hard
About what to say
how to say it
Simplicity wreaks my mind.

I wait
My patience grows thin
I shrink
I won't grow back
because of you.

I want to
I'll try
try to be better for you
Show you
Will you please accept me?

Bad luck didn't stop us.
We walked, gazed at the colored trees,
you at my eyes.
The leaves on the ground
I saw when I blushed.
A lot.
Violet red, pointed, wet leaves, scattered.
Around us.
The rain fell but
you held me.
I listened and smiled.
How perfect,
You're too sweet.
Expectations replaced with actuality.
Fear for what comes next.

Cold nights and nervous bones
Your laugh makes me smile
The parking lot is empty
We are full of tentativeness
Cute awkwardness
This feels right
Like nothing else has before
I feel happy
I blushed a lot.
You're so sweet
You called me gorgeous
We didn't even touch
But it feels like we did.