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I understand you and I will never be all right
but I keep wandering
what would it be like.

What would have been having
your hand in my hair,
your lips on my forehead,
your head on my chest.

I found myself constant craving you
or drowning your memory in alcohol
and it almost feels like I forgot about you,
until I see you with her.

And all I really want is
to you to be happy, to you to be okay.
You told me lies as beautiful as a sunset light and I fell for every one of them,  I loved the scattered shine you bring to my life during my eternal thunderstorm.

Yo said you loved me and you will be with me through everything, "no matter what", but then I think you realized I wasn't as fragile as you think I was, so you stop looking for me, you stop wanting me.

One day I saw a picture of you with another pretty girl, a new one, a new collection piece. I used to see myself as a goddess and my nanny said Im a princess but now I started doubting myself. What I did wrong? Am I not enough?

I cried rivers until they turned into oceans, trying to understand what was going on, thinking I lose you, craving your lips on my hips, your hands on my back, your hugs and our love songs. I was wanting so bad our magnetic rounds of magical rides between heaven and hell.

After weeks of agonizing pain, I realized something. I will never truly know what you felt for me. Maybe you used me as your porcelain doll, maybe you didn't really love me after all, maybe it was just a game. (Everything is a game these days)

But something I know for sure is that I wasn't the one that lose here. I gave you my sunshine and my heart. Shared my dreams and fears. I trusted you. I gave you my friendship and my love.

You lost me.

Days and nights I stayed in bed trying to reach a breath of fresh air. I was slowly dying, grieving over a man who didn't give a ****. I thought it was killing me, but I was killing myself by thinking you were the best.

Nowadays I don't think of you as much as I did weeks ago, some nights I still miss you or days when I see you in songs and lights and even in the clouds on the sky. I was willing to die for you, but all you did was killing the perfection I saw in you one moon of November.

Rest in peace, my love.
I found my peace...


...and its without you.



.
  Mar 2015 Veronica Cristina
Molly
You say
you don't want to hurt me
but don't you realise this hurts
these lonely days
these hours in bed
you're never off my mind
for any moment -
that hurts,
a deep pain
the wondering if it'll ever change pain
the empty
I'm so worthless pain.
You don't love me
that's what hurts me.
Why
Why do I try?
Why do I bother?
Why do I love you,
When you love another?

I'd give you the moon,
the stars and everything.
But you can't give back
an ounce of the same feeling.
I’ve been told I’m a beauty since I was born
You are my little princess; you are so perfect my love.
That is all people have to say to make me go to bed
Because that’s all what people see on me, my beauty and a *** pet.
But mamma’s not here and my daddy ran away
And I just need someone to **** my pain away.
You can be woman or men; I don’t really, really care
I just want you to kiss my neck and let me rest my head on your chest.
Tell me that you love me when you don’t even know my name
My pretty and my legs will love you the same.
So baby, please, make me feel pretty again
You don’t have to stay, but please, make me feel pretty again.

— The End —