the times today make
you crave acceptance from the
society at large

They say, I talk too much
They say, I laugh too much
A caricature, a side-character
Is that all I am?

They say I have too much time on my hands
They say I’m there at all of their plans
Sometimes I’m there even if I’m not wanted
Is that how you see me?

Would you like it if I kept mum?
Say nothing out of turn, molded into a shape of your desire
But then I’d just be a shadow of me
Is that what you truly wish?

I can’t keep quiet even if you want me to
I can’t stop loving even if you want me to
That’s just the way I am
That’s just the way I am

She looks up, a puzzle piece falling out of her hand.
A hint of a frown mars her face.
She is used to this by now,
And yet it isn't the same.

He picks her up, hugs her
Bright smile, a contrast against his sad eyes
The quotidian questions are asked
It is rote to them by now

One question always stays in her head
One she knows not to ask now
“When is Mommy coming home?”
She’s a kid, but she isn’t curious anymore.

They say it's the small things that trip you up
For me I realized when you stopped listening
To my loose rants, my myriad thoughts

A series of missed calls,
A list of unseen messages
Is all I need to know that I'm not wanted

I thought you were changing lanes
Didn’t realize you were going the opposite way
Too distracted in my thoughts, too late to notice what was happening

Maybe it’s better this way than heartbreak down the road
Slowly drifting apart might just be the thing
For me to find the next best friend of my life.

I pause before I make a call
I second guess myself before I spill it all
It feels like everyone is different now, the rules have changed
Am I the only one who is still not used to it?

Two hours felt like a minute to me
Now it is the other way ‘round
I should cling tighter, hold close ones closer
I’m just human, jealousy is natural

Do they want me to let go, I have no idea
Over reaction is a common thing
But how much is paranoia, and how much is truth?
I’m worried to ask or answer that question

I feel myself changing, not sure whether it’s good
Staying alone is my status quo, even in the crowds
I don’t know whether it’s for the best, for the worst, or just growing up.