I'm not sure when
I fell asleep,
but suddenly
I had fallen
into night's
embrace

Can you hear me?
can you hear me in
the blue of slumber
where I'm not even
aware
I'm
reaching out for
you

I want to know
you love me
just like I
want to know
the moment where
my mind
succumbs
to quiet and
lets my tired
body sleep

I need you so much
I almost
cannot
sleep.

You're my
best kept secret-
a rippling stream of
hazy blue inside
my mind, my
heart,
a glow of light
above my head
absorbing into me,
the color of the color
of "to heal"

You're my best kept
secret:

rivers change with time,
with the deepening of
banks and the falling
trees of winter-but you.
oh,
but you
You're the sediment
on which I flow,
that I keep hidden
deep within the
tributaries

                I love you,
and that's my best kept secret.  

         And I'll carry you
              for all of the
                Tide-race.

you hold me up high on a pedestal-
your perfect gold shining trophy.
//
to you, the world has always been different tones of monochrome.

the sun was pale- almost white, but not quite.
the oceans were their own hue of gray- special and unique.

and when I befriended you, I took a variety of pigments
and started to paint a spectrum of light onto your canvas of reality.

you always gush to your friends and family about me-
how charismatic and lovely I am.

how I touched your icy grey eyes with my bright blue hands
and gifted you with a sense of sight.

and I'm honored, I promise I am.

but darling, there is vibrant yellow sunshine in your veins
and a purple haze in your mind.
there is stardust that shines brightly within you,
mixed right in there with your cherry-red blood.

there has always been color in your life.
but you never quite allowed yourself to see it.

I'm not anything extraordinary. but I hope that when you realize that,
you'll  keep the colors that I inked into your life.
//
and maybe, you'll keep me, too.

I graduated fresh and ****** from my mother's womb,
a gift, greater than any other.
My sister before me too.
My brother after me was swallowed up by Him
mere hours after drawing his last breath his first.
Behold:
This is my unambiguous declaration against
this universal truth: my unparalleled defense
of the dignity of man
against the temperature-empty, relentlessly inhuman
universe unconcerned with these ventures
which characterize knowing it

not. For one day I shall call
my teachers by their first names. One day
they shall call me doctor. This is the totem
declaring the worth of the living and the dead,
my sister and my brother: myself. The totem
of the disenfranchised and  barely and disabled
and black. Even also less including I guess
the enriched the cup overfloweth and mighty
and colourless. Our skin and bones and graves
and blood and ****** and lust and chest and
******* and being and nothing and isness is

beautiful

regardless of everything. It is mine.
It is yours. It is yours.

Votre.