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Amanda Oct 2018
If I had never been born
Would there be a space left empty
Waiting to be filled with a human form

If I wasn’t here
Would the world mourn?
This child’s life, a star of Capricorn

Would my Family
Miss the laughter of jokes never told
Look for someone, they can never enfold

Would my friends
Act on advice never passed
Who will they turn to when feeling downcast?

And my love
The one I found, who will love you now?
Will they kiss the same when you make the vow?

If I was never here
There’ll be no change in discoveries of anything epic
And definitely not missed in the world academic

So there is no reason
Why I am here, that I can see
Living this life of mundane ordinary

Yet there was the time
I helped a stranger who was in need, in pain
Though I’m sure others would have done the same

Maybe that’s why I am here
Not to live a life of fame and celebrity
Just to bestow one simple kind act of extraordinary
Amanda Oct 2018
Heading for a landslide
Of a breaking heart
Listen to the rumble as it falls apart
It has a familiar sound
So I know this isn’t the first
And memory says I’ve survived worse

Following a cycle of repeating destruction
As the heart feels the love burn
Love lessons I will have to relearn
But it’s a wasted moment in time
Trust gained is shattered and broken
I was sure that this time, you were the one

But time heals, so they say
And too quickly, plasters are applied
Patching up the hurt deep inside
I’m moving on, I’m brave and strong
And look, there on the horizon I can see
A new love. Hi, are you looking for me?
Amanda Oct 2018
Gentle slumber take me
Into dreams where I can
Be the person you want me to be
Become part of the perfect plan
Where I agree with everything
Just nod and bow down
Like a bird trained to sing
Look at me, the dancing clown

I see you clap and smile
As the knots are pulled tight
Around me, is it worthwhile?
Seeing me disappear out of sight
As I am made into someone new
A mute speaking with your voice
As I fade into shadow behind you
Too late. I've made my choice.
Amanda Sep 2018
If I am not here tomorrow
Gone without a goodbye
Don’t live thy life in sorrow
There is no need to cry
For I have a love deep within me
That will be carried from the stars
Down to the heart that I gave thee
To heal thy grieving scars
So look up to the wondrous sky
When sadness takes to flight
I will be looking down from on high
Sending love from heavens starlight
Amanda Sep 2018
I can recall my teenage days
Spent in the company of ghosts
Traversing a wooden maize
Of intellectual hosts

Contained in a blanket of silence
Away from the daily chaos
I would look for their guidance
In dealing with life, love and loss

I can still recall the musty scent
Of words written on the time aged pages
Reading the thought out wisdom
Of these ancient sages

The library is lost now
Not needed in this current time
Technology and internet are the new Wow
And ghosts can be downloaded anytime

But I miss sensory feel
And smell of the written leaves
Now lost in the sterile, electric unreal
And there my heart grieves
Amanda Sep 2018
Modern life is killing me
Yawn, yawn, block out the TV
Pictures of bears, wales and lion
Dial the number, save the newest extinction
Money wanted for the latest charity
Save the children, comes the plea

It’s all too much for the heart to take
So it’s numbed in ice, to prevent the break
I am now part of the world’s population
Where denial is guaranteed self-preservation
But here we go with another newsbreak
Money needed after a recent earthquake

So I will travel upon my merry way
Living in ignorance every day
Paddle in an ocean where plastic rules
Ignoring the singing of dolphin blues
Don’t want to hear about what’s at stake
I can’t make a change, put in the firebreak

But to the next generation, what can be said?
When they look at oceans a long time dead
And a lion’s roar can only be seen
In a cartoon film shown on the big screen
The only animals in the world are biped
Trying to survive on this floating sickbed

I am not one to name and shame
Or make judgement, place the blame
But don’t want to leave the world as I found it
Hand it on, like it’s a gambit
So I will make one change, I hereby claim
I leave it up to you to do the same
Amanda Sep 2018
Balancing on a fragile wire
So high above me
Looking down on the pain
As I try to stop the fall
I know is coming
Tears, not mine, flood the plain

Focus, one step at a time
Sleep a forgotten language
As I walk in dreams
And figures in shaded form
Visit my days
Where nothing is at seems

Walking the tightrope
Silently amongst the loss
Breathing the air
Of a life planned absent
Of your voice
I can no longer share

I walk the wire
Waiting for the freefall
Into sedated black
So I can dive into oceans
Of saline dreams
And bring you back
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