Why does having food in my stomach
Feel like I failed

are they staring at me?
laughing at me?
my head hurts
“always in that dang room”
i don’t like me anymore
“get off your phone”
i didn’t eat lunch today
“you’re so skinny”
not enough
“gorgeous girl!”
am i tho?

Ugly ugly girl
You try so hard, but it never works
You paint your face to make it clear
You wear lashes so your eyes are big
And line your lips so they look full
You even try to fix your nose
The curl in your hair is to match your face
And the hairspray so it doesn’t go away
Lastly perfume so they say you smell sweet
Yet even with the money you pay
Or the time you spend
Stroking, drawing, blending for perfection
You still seem so broken
Like you’ve always been
It never goes away no matter how hard you try to cover it
Ugly ugly girl
You try so hard but it never works
You will never stop aching to be pretty
So you can be put back together

I’m never kidding,
When I say I need humbling.
Life goes too good for too long,
I get too popular winning at too much,
That I forget what it feels like to lose out,
And I risk everything.
It’s so silly,
Complaining about succeeding,
But sometimes I miss the days I wasn’t on the radar yet.
Because now that I have so much,
My vision is fogged by greed,
I forget how to treat the people that brought me here.
I never learn,
Until I lay askew and burnt,
When my luck runs out.

It’s not magic.

we’re half way finished
half way there
we’ve almost done it
just two more years

when freshman year started
we couldn’t wait for it to end
but now it’s almost here
i wish we could go back
and do it all again

to fix the mistakes
to say the right things
and to not give my heart
to a boy by who i am hated

i want to be young again
to get back those two years
all i can remember are pain and tears
now we have to plan for the future

we have to plan the rest of our lives
how do you do that?
my life was more together when i was five
i know who i want to be
but i don’t know who i am

i’m only 16
these plans feel to big for me
but we’re half way finished
we’re half way there
we’ve almost done it
just two more years