I’m never someone’s muse

I always write about everyone else but I never get a single word about me

I want to be seen

And not just with eyes but with art

You always send me wings from heaven and hearts in the earth

Perhaps if I patch all the wings I’ve collected I could fly my way to you and we can pick up where we left off

I miss you for eternity

My hair whips around like seaweed in the salty air

I stare out at the ocean and all my thoughts slow to a subtle current

I can’t help but wonder what will happen when I have to pry myself away from the ocean and back to the real world

What will my thoughts do?

Will they take over me like they have many times before?

Or will they stay at a subtle pace..

I find myself doing things more thoroughly just so I can take my mind off you

Whether it’s by the way I bruh my hair or clean my room

By the way I brush my teeth and clean the dishes

I’m trying everything just so I can put my mind at ease

I lay in bed at night, imagining you next to me

You’re 634 miles away

And i know all you imagine is her in your arms

Why can’t i get you out of my head

Why can’t i accept that we won’t be more than friends

Why can’t i accept that you chose her over me

What does she have that i don’t

You said you loved me as a sister

𝘚𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳

Not as anything more

Which i get because you like her

But i can only wish that it was me you liked… 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥.. instead

I get told i don’t think

But I’m thinking right now

I think all the time..

Constantly my brain won’t stop

I’m writing these words down that come to mind to try and sort it all out but it won’t cease

I can’t stop thinking

Words are rushing onto the page like a pipe thats about to burst

I keep trying to patch the hole but more water seeps through..

More words.. seep through

Consuming my thoughts till it’s all that I’m made of

All that i think of