I can’t hear you

I can’t see  you

I can’t speak to you

But my heart still HURTS

Why celebrate your birthday once a year ? When you can celebrate it two times a day .....AM and PM

SEPTEMBER 8th
equals
9:08 AM
and
9:08PM

Bad people aren't born but rather raised.....Tinder Swindler, Bad Vegan, Inventing Anna and stay tuned for.....Remaking Rob!

They all document the during, but what about the before.....? They all document the during but what about the after.....?

At some point we all could be made out to be a monster, at some point we all have endured a fall. Who documents the comeback.....?

In-between homes now
     amidst infinite options
                         I only want her

Her hands not used for being held but rather tools used to defend herself

Her eyes not used for someone admiring  but rather tools used to view threats

Her ears not used for hearing kind words but rather tools used to detect fear

Her legs not used for being massaged or touched but rather tools used to power the run

Her feet not used for being pampered but rather tools used to separate her from him

Her mouth not used for speaking kind words but rather a tool used to scream for help

Her hair not used for looking pretty but rather tools used against her to hold her down

Her arms not used for reaching things but rather tools used to block for safety

Her back not used for being rubbed but rather a tool used to remind her of the scars

It’s no wonder she feels so unworthy and can’t seem to find happiness within herself

Every inch of her body is a constant reminder of a monster, his abuse has created

Not by her choice but out of necessity for her to be able to survive and remain alive

If only she had a better example as a young girl of how a man should really treat a woman

Then just maybe she would understand and realize that this is not deserving for anyone

You see her mother had it way worse so to her this guy seems a lot better than her step-dad

To her, she’s better off together with him, out of fear no one else could love her for who she is

When she can’t even love the reflection of herself from the images of her own body

A sad but true reality that more young ladies are living than what any of us could imagine

I know I'll only be judged for who I was not WHO I AM! So sometimes I decide to let him loose, free from the comfort of the uncomfortable noose... If that's who you will always see mentally than let him be seen physically...

" You know I hate him, you know I killed him, you know he's dead to me.... But you keep treating me like you used to treat me and back then is when we broke apart and it fueled the start to the rest of my life and
to my surprise his eyes are the only ones Im ever seen through!"

whenever step-dad
went to his hole in the wall
he always made them

There's no place like holm 
unfortunately holm 
isn't where I want to be 
Or at least not originally 
but slowly I began to like it 
and found it quite comforting 
There's no place like holm 
I now believe, since evolving
from a victim to dependent 
Stockholm Syndrome 
BRAINWASHED 
There's no place like home 
a saying I used to believe in 
but now my holm mistaken 
TAKEN FROM ME 
and replaced with a:
FALSE REALITY

Holoday 
caust me 
my sanity 
most recent 
memory 
of losing her 
as my soul 
got slaughtered 
spending 
a celebration 
all alone 
shes still gone 
yet i pretend 
that i can forget
that theres no hope 
for a quick second 
then I'm reminded 
She gave up her grip
and 
FOREVER LET GO

Preach what you know to be true, Speak only the truth, teach what you know to be true, otherwise don't preach, speak or teach anything at all! Learn only from those that follow these same rules and law.

Dark thoughts come to life
In the dark hours of night

Lightyears ahead bright ideas born in open skies of day

Sunglasses at night a sure sign of a heart in disguise

We may be shades apart in life but I'll still save you

Tomorrow I’ll be
better than today but now
I must just give in

Nopeful Hope

Bound by time 
punch for punch
captive to the clock 
both hands land 
wake-up, get to work,
go to bed, run run run 
ALARM CLOCK 
wont stop, fired shots 
PLEASE JUST STOP 
Bound by time
punch for punch 
captive to the clock 
both hands land 
KNOCKED-OUT 
passed out, stressed out 
sleep deprived, nap nap nap 
ALARM CLOCK
pops off, shots fired 
PLEASE JUST GET UP 
Bound by time 
punch for punch 
captive to the clock 
both hands land 
WAKE-UP

FALSLEY ACCUSED, HOW?
"SOMEONE MUST HANG" SAID THE KING.
RIGHT NOW, PICK SOMEONE! 

     DUCK, 
            DUCK, 
                  NOOSE 
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         11  12   01                     [][]
     10                02                   [][]
  09        PAY        03               [][]
    08                   04                 [][]
        07   06   05                     [][]
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                                                 [][]
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Walk through life if you want , I suggest you rUn ScArEd. 
THE CLOCK IS TICKING

Love lasts
far past
the shelf-life

Fork in the road
I’m not getting stabbed
go with my thoughts
**** my heart
it keeps letting me down
regardless my values
or good intentions
I’m tired of being
HURT

Where to start
well there’s the obvious
teeth need brushed
and flossed
every night
and morning
I always conclude
with a gargle of
MOUTHWASH
to **** the germs
Every day a shower
or two
no I’m not addicted
but when you’re
a gym rat
it’s necessary
shampoo and conditioner
otherwise my hair becomes
a disaster
Irish spring
my choice of bar
the scent just permits
the smell of freshness
plus the LADIES LOVE IT
Hair needs combed
or brushed
otherwise it leads to
tangles and knots
Now let’s not forget
q-tips to get the earwax
OUT
the pleasure I get
from feeling clean
Now these
next couple things
may not be
as often but
they are just as
IMPORTANT
toenails and fingernails
they every couple days
need a nice trim
normally after
pressing my cuticles down
and using this neat little tool
that pushes against
the excess skin
and as it goes
it takes it off
leaving them smooth
last but not least
a file to
round the edges
to prevent
HANGNAIL
One of my least favorite
of all to take care of
most definitely is
my ****** HAIR
although I got
some fancy trimmers
I always stress
about it being perfect
nice clean lines
the curves just right
no guy wants
an uneven face
and when I’m done
and it’s all trimmed just right
I got this attachment
that’s made for
NOSE-HAIRS
every now and then
it gets caught
as I press firmly
to get them all
and it tugs hard
as I say ouch
after this though
my all time favorite thing
when it comes to
HYGIENE
aftershave
as the alcohol burns my
freshly shaved face
it makes me feel
so refreshed and clean
and leaves me smelling
so dam good
Now you cannot forget
to every so often
TOUCHUP
your eyebrows
no one wants
a unibrow
Another important part
of staying clean
and of superb hygiene
is an everyday
multiple times
ROUTINE
use as needed
DEODORANT
to help fight
any unwanted
BODY ODORS
Now somethings
are just not feasible
to do yourself
so you have to
RELY on the PROFESSIONALS
haircut , but thank GOD
It’s only an every couple weeks
AFFAIR as it’s costly
And last but not least
an important variable
the power of
using a good lotion
after each shower
to prevent dry skin
Well to each their own
I’m sure I may have missed
SOMETHING
but for the most part
this is my
HYGIENE ROUTINE

ps: Always make sure to regularly :
WASH YOUR HANDS !!

I'm changing,slowly rearranging, I'm not the same! **** fake love, I've grown from the ones that have been GENUINE, I'll become someone I can be proud of, regardless the scars or hopeless stars I wished on, regardless the ones that trapped this soul, I WILL OVERCOME

I fear
but I’m not afraid
I hurt
but I do not bleed
I cry
but I won’t shed a tear
I scream
but you won’t hear a sound
I work
but I love my job
I try
but you may not agree
I love
but in a different way
I talk
but she never heard a word
I left
but I wanted to stay
I change
but I didn’t always know how
I wish
she could see that
I miss
her more than anyone
I pretend
the pain is gone
I distract
myself to cope with it
I pray
I’ll be able to move on
I remain
victim to heartbreak

Subtraction
Attraction
Distraction

Subtraction : I'm taken away
Attraction : By her beauty
Distraction : All else fades

S :
A :
D :

I'm a little boy within this skin of what resembles a normal looking man
I'm a psychopath within this skin of what resembles a normal looking man.
I'm a healing soul within this skin of what resembles a normal looking man.
I'm a little boy within this skin of mine that resembles a normal looking man.
There's nothing normal at all about me or what lies within the skin of what appears to be a normal looking man.
I AM a man kindly reminding you
" things aren't always as they appear "

"I looked for all the answers in all the wrong places, eventually I found all the necessary changes in the mirror!"

It hurts me to do without
SHOUT
SCREAM
quit being mean
You know I
MISS YOU

If I was a lamp, she would’ve been the SHADE

If I was a door, she would’ve been the DEADBOLT

If I was a picture, she would’ve been the FRAME

If my mind wasn’t so creative, I would just come out and say….

She never let me shine

She prevented doors of opportunity from opening

She refused to let me breathe

TRAPPED

I’m shinning bright NOW
New doors are opening for ME
    My art is abroad
         for the world to SEE

BEAUTY THROUGH PAIN

If steps could be retraced?
if actions could be erased? 
if words could be replaced?
Would you let me come home?
Because I would relive it all, if thats what it meant, to get one more minute with you. Would you let me?

Your words are encouraging
but your actions contradict them every-time

If only your actions were encouraging and your words contradicted them

I could learn to drown out the words but I cannot drown out the pain

I'm becoming an old man, a cold man... if only others understood, what it is I understand. If only... they could

But the truth is, they cannot... 
I'm different to put it simply,​​​​​​ different than you all. If only...
I wasn't misunderstood

   "if only we simply grasped us all, understanding not everything is meant to be...UNDERSTOOD!"

Liver and onions 
both making you cry 
One from to much 
DRINKING 
the other from 
slicing with a knife

No dad
no man
Just my mom
just a woman
She did her best
she tried her hardest
For years I was confused
for years I was abused
So I sat while I peed
she ***** trained me
I prefer baths over showers
she did too so she could soak
Her body felt good in the water
compared to being outside of it
Her boyfriends always abused her
Thank god I didn’t follow them
my fists have never met a woman
I stand now to go *****
I communicate my feelings properly also
Thank god I finally got broken
I was a wild **** in a whirlwind
Until she came along
she taught me about true love
As soon as I became acquainted
SHE ******* DISCARDED ME
The pain created beauty
as I drank my way from the bottom to the surface
Well I finally can breathe
and now I can think clearly
She did what she had to
to get through to me
OBVIOUS

Life filled with pain
life can be so overwhelming
BLAND, boring, lifeless
When living it with SERIOUSNESS
Oblivious to a world
inside a world
One in which
you can make
your own parallels
Reality is lost
imagination governors
this escape and release
I’m a cartoon
becoming a fictitious
CHARACTER
telling my bitter subconscious
to shut the hell up
Turn off
power down
mind on overload
Explode
Real Rob
splatters all over
a bright color spectrum
taking new form
into a free
go with the flow
upbeat and confident
with absent insecurities
not thinking about
all the things
that seemed to matter
Just living
in animated color
personality over the top
energy attracting
like minds
we’re all
cutting loose
letting go of
the political noose
brain-dead
patterns  no longer
EXIST
Plot twist
Scared self equals
GAME-OVER
In this world
I created from fragments
of reality separating
as I become sedated
I cannot lose
NEXT-LEVEL
I keep winning
and **** does it
FEEL GOOD

Scream, yell
tell a tall tale
the tallest ones
always tell
THEMSELVES
without speaking
one word

The Fourth of July
family, friends and fireworks too
thanks to those who fought

Protecting freedom
making this day possible
risking their freedoms

The Fourth of July
a day to remember those
putting themselves last  

Protecting freedom
for our entire Country’s peace
regardless color

The Red, White and Blue
will fly high tonight for all
that want to claim her

voiceless victims
they speak no words
held in the arms
of the ones that are
supposed to love them
the most ..............

With time everything has gotten bigger and better but I still feel the same size.

Everytthing is bound by gravity it seems except 
Taxes, gas prices, groceries, utilities, materials, etc as they forever and ever soar

When desire outweighs capabilities an incapable person becomes more motivated than that of a capable person with no desire

When motivation outweighs talent a talentless person becomes more passionate than that of a talented person with no motivation

When passion outweighs experience an inexperienced person becomes more successful than that of an experienced person with no passion

We all are only as desirable, motivated and passionate as we allow ourselves to be and once we comprehend that we become way more capable, talented and experienced in life

There used to be a key to my heart, that was before she tore it apart, now I'm just desperate for love

Who cares ?
Well i do ,
so i guess no one !

Love me or leave me
but please don't do
BOTH

Preach
Teach

Earn
Learn

Earn by preaching
Learn by teaching

Knowledge is power
Wealth is a mindset

Make it rain
Walk on water

Money can't
Buy happiness

A valuable
Life lesson

Self isolate, negate yourself
to much liability more likely
for bad to come
TRUTHFULLY
Unfortunately thats the world
we live in currently, from high-fives, to back-stabs the same eyes maintaining contact
COLD
Trust no one, not even god
he will purposely test you
he gave up his only son
would you forgive him ?
but please remain faithful
OPINION
Through him, with him and in him the words read, I believe them whole-heartedly when reciting in front of a mirror
REFLECTION
The reality is, we all are a creation, but to our creators credit we are given self-will and only have ourselves to blame or rely on for our
DECISIONS
Make sure they are yours you are making, many outsiders come and go and many are persuasive, selling and telling you what to believe in
REALITY
To each their own, opinions, beliefs, decisions, religion and so on and so forth etc
CHEERS

Paranoid
avoid
Gift
lift
Suspicions
intuitions
Telling
selling
Yourself
help
Decide
hide
Reply
try
Voices
choices
Who
you
How
now
Will
****
Somehow
bow
Down
frown
Remain
gain
Nothing
something
Avoid
paranoid
Please
freeze
Be
free
Trial
smile
Think
blink
Retrieve
believe
Before
more
To
do

Difference relevant
various forms
False measurements
begin to form
Shape shifting
slowly creating
An internal stranger
no acquaintance
Unfamiliar figure
visions blurred
Absent shadow
wipe your eyes
Fogged mirrors
reflect unwanted imagery
Who have i become?
Sweaty palms
dry skin
Bloodshot eyes
dandruff hair
Stubble beard
look of despair
Anger fills your mind
false illusions
Of the previous night
leave a cloud of doubt
One thing is certain
and that is......
The "HOW"
before accepting fault
You quickly engage
telling yourself
In the back of your mind
it's not your fault
Keep playing the victim
knowing your plenty capable
Traumatic childhood
left in the past
Never realizing
the importance
It will have on the present
the same childhood friend
That got you through it all
now is the biggest culprit
Allowing your mind
to pretend its never your fault
Imagination, always their
to save the day
Allowing yourself
to procreate
Thoughts of weakness
ability to misdirect
The tough conversations
your favorite sidekick
An all purpose tool
for all occassions
Especially the ones
that put you on the spot
Preventing yourself
from overcoming the past
Allowing you, to live a lie
lets not forget
Although its a small circle
we both know **** well
Creativity shows up
Imagination's favorite
friend
They saved you as youth
kept your mind
off all the abuse
They made being poor
not seem so tough
They got you through
some really bad breakups
Hell! they both
were the majority
of the responsibility
For everytime
a girl fell in love
You expect me to believe
these two childhood friends
I have always been able
to count on
The very two
that always had my back
The very two
No one could ever
take me from
They have now transformed
allowing insecurities
to be easier to hide
All the training over the years
were only suppressing
Allowing me to avoid
keeping me weak
Allowing my mistakes
always to be justified
Things aren't always
as they seem
R..AD
B..T. ..EN
..HE
L..N..S
Don't become
that someone
That will allow
your past
From preventing
self-love
Be someone
that you will
Not have to
learn to love
When you can
GAURANTEE
THE REFLECTION
looking back
Is exactly who
You want to see
Often its
the in between
That is literally
the actual message
We can't, always be
focusing on literal terms
When we have
STRONG MINDS
to interpret what we see
Into what it means
Into what we believe
and everything in between
INTERPRET

Tired, of what? 
Frustrated too......
What's a man supposed to do, who am I? 
Greed, it makes me sick, it makes me work, it makes me take, take,, take......time, love and stress! 
Driven and fueled by lack of structure from the past, at last I can become someone that creates wealth for the future ones...... Yes I can but the time I'll never get back, sacrifice life with loved ones for loved ones life's to strive! 

Tired of living to survive, frustrated I have to rewrite the bloodline, I'm the guy for the job...  that's who I ******* am! 
Greed cures the sickness it provides through the confident eyes of comfortable loved ones, they wont have to have these problems or contradictions to distract themselves because I'm choosing them over us!

............EMOTIONS
         M  V         N              
           O   E       O
          T      R     I
         I          Y THING
          O            O
        N             M
        SNOITOME

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ GET IN
THE WAY OF
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

YES, NO
I DON’T KNOW
MAYBE
OR
WITHOUT A DOUBT
I’M 100’/. SURE
SOLD
OR
THERE’S NO WAY
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE
LIE

NO LOGIC
WHEN EMOTIONS
ARE INVOLVED
FEELINGS GET
IN THE WAY
OF LOGIC

My mental health flipped out, when my phone no longer could flip. My buttons seemed pushed more when my phone no longer had buttons. My savings account became smaller when my phone became larger. My life seemed more lost when my phone was able to navigate.

Red, Right and Blue
Red, White and through 
Dead, White and Blue 

R, I and P 
​​​​Heart, Soul and Mind
Selfishly I Stand Alone 

Me, Myself and I
​​​​That's What I Bleed 
My Own ******* Blood

A fish in a bowl       / ~ 🐠  ~ ~ \
feels trapped        

Witnessing fish on a screen
swimming freely amidst the sea

Dreaming for the day to come
when he to can swim freely

But for now he swims, within his  bowl lined with pebble rocks

It wasn’t until he seen the human of the house

Put a fish in a pan
then on a plate

That the fish in the bowl
felt grateful compared to the :

Fish on a plate
for he was the main dish