You cant hide 
behind a name 
Years ago 
I was Rob Grove 
On this website 
I wasn't sure then 
the power of poetry 
I neglected my profile 
all my poems then 
were about heartbreak 
Then during Covid 19
I re-Discovered my profile 
I was at the lowest of lows 
just lost the love of MY LIFE 
I hated who I was 
I was the product of 
A BAD PAST 
that I NEVER DEALT WITH 
many skeletons rested 
In my closet 
So I created Reborn-Rob
a fictitious character 
that allowed me to ACCEPT 
the past by not actually 
OWNING IT 
See I was a NARCASSIST 
and we can't be seen 
any less than PERFECT
​​​400 poems later 
the truth that was buried 
​​​was awaken from my 
CHILDHOOD GRAVE 
so many memories 
I suppressed from fear 
So many horror stories 
that I never healed from 
I had a ton of support 
along with haters too
They didn't UNDERSTAND 
or SEE what I was going through 
With each write, song, story, poem, freestyle 
I felt so much better and the weight of the past drama 
WASNT DICTATING MY LIFE 
Shortly after 
I became sick with 
my entire profile 
and felt I needed to 
MOVE-ON 
That's when I created
SHALLOW WATERS 
figuring I made it back to 
Mental-shore 
NO MORE GOING OFF THE 
DEEP-END 
That lasted awhile 
mostly going through my past lovers and the drama 
It felt better to be a part of 
Calmer waters 
But then ....... 
I realized ...
MY MENTAL DISORDER
was still controlling me 
I WAS HIDING BEHIND 
ALL THESE NAMES 
and that's when 
Robert James Grove 
WAS ACCEPTED 
knowing ALL three profiles 
WERE HIM 
With all the pain, hurt, abuse
baggage and bad decisions 
WERE MINE TO OWN 
I gave up my personification that ONLY I HAD ABOUT ME 
I wasn't fooling anyone 
BUT MYSELF 
Now I'm coping with it all 
A-Z but accepting it's always been ME these are 
MY SCARS to
OVERCOME

Compare contrast
friendships
are meant to last
not gauge

Time for time
invested
to each our own
concept

What it means
to me versus
what it does to you
different

It wieghs on my soul
it wieghs on my heart
from the begining
from the start

But who am i to judge
who am i to care
about anyone else
more than myself

Without self-love
without self-respect
we cannot elect
to love anyone else

Call it selfish
label it facetious
but its the truth
but its the reality

I wasn't going to do it
but my phone told me to
I wasn't going to do it
but my friends said to
I wasn't going to do it
but my co-worker said to
I wasn't going to do it
but the voices in my head
told me I had to!
SCHIZOPHRENIA

I woke up today
well **** thats a start
How optimistic I am
for I know some have not
That’s just life though
one day  you’re  thriving
The next you’re barely
SURVIVING
Today marks day 8
since I took my last sip
May not seem like much
or a big difference to some
But to me I see and notice
how little things are different
Like my watch, it’s no longer
tight on my wrist, it fits loosely
My stomach isn’t bloated
My energy does seem a little
fatigued but that’s a normal
side effect
My brain and body are used
to operating the last 11 years
on alcohol as the nightly fuel
source, so it takes some time
to shake the curse and get things back on the right course
but the good news is I’m staying strong and most importantly my subconscious is my biggest support , the same voice in my head for 25 plus years telling me of fears from a blurred childhood, failed relationships and past is my strong point now, who would’ve thought
Well today not only marks day 8 but it also marks day 1 as I’m making the leap in faith today on May 23rd to go and seek about learning about Gods word
sure I’m not excited about the awkwardness of day 1 at a new church as everyone can be cheesy and over the top but maybe that’s the wrong thoughts to have , I don’t think it’s awkward to go into a random bar in a new town and drink and dance among strangers so why are our minds programmed so different when it comes to things that benefit versus things that can hurt or be a bad influence ..... well the devil works in mysterious ways is all I can think or maybe we just don’t love ourselves enough to have the confidence to know we deserve better , well no different than a hole in the wall , the right church will take you for who you are and accept all but If they don’t then just like that bar you have had  a bad experience at you can leave and try a different one
OPTIONS , for the record I’m not a very religious person at all but I will say what’s the worst thing that comes from gathering once a week with people that all believe in a higher power and have faith versus not ? That is the question I asked myself when weighing the good versus the bad and realized the good outweighed and won, so here I go with my best foot forward , standing tall and most importantly doing it sober
Happy Sunday everyone !

Constant fight
constant write

Constant flame
constant name

Constant bubble
constant struggle

Instant nothing
instant some….not thing
CLICHE
don’t blame me
FOR THE IMPROV
I’m just playing
DA GAME
dramatic
Systematic product
of a desired
variable
MISSING
until
I’M
gone
LOST

Calm it cocky
call it down
switch the words
straight from the heart
no rehearse
Hearst what
shifter
as in gears
not fears
I’m in fifth gear
she’s screaming for 6
I let off the clutch ......
and pull the e-brake
I'm in control
swerve
skirt skirt
flirt
I’m the one
and the only
Reborn-Rob
Shallow waters
Robert Grove
call me what you want
I love who I am
play games
I’m the best
I love checkers
but worship Chess
Mindset is strong
used to hate
being wrong
but not anymore
I love learning
a better way
my mind don’t listen
to that ***** subconscious
telling me there’s only
ONE WAY
Life is what you make it
so make it
OKAY !

EYE WITNESS
to unforeseen doings
of oneself through
a recognition of
PATTERNS
Guilt settles in
within the buzz
removing the numbness
DUMB
Mental notes taken
recollection of them
creates self awareness
LEARN

VACCINE 🧀     
!      MANDATE  !
! 🧀  ....................!
!       !
!       !
! 🧀 !...........
!..................🐀

The red, white
                and blue 
land of free
         home to the brave 
Just follow
           the CHEESE !

The heart wants what it wants but the brain is calling the shots, the mind is pulling the strings. The past pain dictates the subconscious and what it deems safe, the foundation for all decisions made.
All I can say is please learn from your mistakes, how many must be lost before we realize the cost of our unhealthy thoughts?...How many? Among many from the past, she stood out the most! She was the one that I wish I could have back but the heart took the backseat to the brain and all the illusions it made. A dangerous game our minds can play when we don't fix ourselves after being hurt, a dangerous game indeed!

You see what you see 
I see what I see 
He sees what he sees 
They see what they see 
She sees what she sees 

Eye to eye we rarely see 
But our eyes see it all 
Why do we see the same things so differently?
Is it our minds fault?

You feel what you feel 
I feel what I feel 
He feels what he feels 
They feel what they feel 
She feels what she feels 

Heart to heart we rarely feel 
But our hearts feel it all 
Why do we feel the same things so differently?
Is it our minds fault? 

You think what you think 
I think what i think 
He thinks what he thinks 
They think what they think 
She thinks what she thinks 

Mind to mind we rarely think 
But our minds think it all 
Why do we think about the same things so differently?
Is it our eyes fault?
Is it our hearts fault?
Is it our minds fault?

I know I personally base thoughts off feelings but my eyes see what my mind believes so therefore:
Its my hearts fault for being on my sleeve.

HEART-ATTACK 

I know personally people that base feelings off thoughts and let their minds control all of their decisions regardless their eyes visions 

CRUISE CONTROL 

I know personally people that allow their eyes to give insight to how they feel before thinking and allow vision to control feelings leading to a drawn conclusion mentally

TARGET-LOCATED 

The combinations are endless and this is what causes the difference amongst our thoughts, feelings, visions 
AKA: MINDS, HEARTS & EYES 

DEFINE 

Who you are 
Who he is 
Who they are 
Who she is 
To better
UNDERSTAND
Where they are 
COMING FROM 

THOUGHTFUL 

We cannot seek 
UNDERSTANDING 
When we cannot 
UNDERSTAND 
OuRsElVeS fIrSt 

CONCLUSION

I'm undercover
​​​​​​spying on myself
Im in the trenches
Studying self

Relapse called
so I answered
or so relapse thinks
I'm pretending

Here now
at the bar
sober and ordering soda
Looking around

Focusing on
all the people
wondering why it is
So comforting

Really pathetic
as I watch
everyone drown their sorrows
With alcohol

Relapse suspicious
Knowing that I'm
not even buzzed yet
Sudden change

I order
another drink quickly
chugging my first one
Acting normal

This mission
is super successful
because I'm surrounded by
Deadly temptation

I remain
loyal to myself
realizing I want to
Forever change

We must
study ourselves thoroughly
in order to implement
Sustainable change

I want
to keep learning
earning my progress properly
Battling pain

Relapse lost
this familiar battle
my only hope is
To teach

​​​​​Documenting everything
I experiment with
to find real solutions
That work

Others suffer
just as bad
if not, even worse
Truthfully speaking

Strength required
to accept yourself
when you feel worthless
It's difficult

First step
among many more
many exercises I did
To help

I'll document
this whole journey
I'll post my battles
And victories

With honesty
the good, bad
and the ugly, all
To relate

Mental-Health
a curable cancer
but not by medicine
But rather

With love
with caring compassion
with acceptance and understanding
With reflection

With battling
with self-studying
with desired change wanted
And motivation

With __
still to be
determined and self-discovered
To be..........

Walk the line
talk the line
stay within the lines
draw the lines
follow the lines
Everything ever created started with a line
Everything ever marketed started with a line
“ CHECK THIS OUT “
“Line me up said the man to the barber”
“Read this line” said the optometrist to the patient
Stand in line to watch a big screen filled with many lines:
MOVIES
Time after time
line after line
we all measure life
TIMELINE
Cast a line
FISHING
Run a line
LAYOUT
Hang a line
LAUNDRY
Two solid ones
closing in a series
of dotted ones
HIGHWAY
Shortest distance
between two objects
STRAIGHT-LINE
Phone a friend
lifeline
TELEPHONE
Imagine a world
without lines
RIDICULOUS
tagline
PUNCHLINE
Joke
Lunch-line
BUFFET
feast

She was my love 
so now she is loved 

She used to be my future 
so now she is my past 

The only part I wish 
I could still have back 

She! Yes her, my true love
the only one I still grasp

We’re both feeling
the pain
from the strain
in our hearts
it’s in our brain
it’s every-other THOUGHT
in our minds
so let’s quit thinking
even if just for a day
and night
let’s quit fighting
the demons
from lost love
Together you and I
LET’S PRETEND
we are all better
let’s take these
broken hearts
of ours
and mend two halves
TOGETHER
I know it won’t fix
what has been broken
I know
when tomorrow comes
we will still be hurting
but all that proves is
we are guilty of loving
with all we got
We got a room
on the water
the forecast is calling
for beautiful weather
so let’s put down
our heartbreaks
from others
that discarded us
and together
LET’S PRETEND
and even if
just for one day and night
let’s give up the fight
and put our battles
on hold
let’s warm the cold
let’s put
our best foot forward
and take a break
from heartbreak
You and I together
LET’S PRETEND

****** to drugs
never done one
At age 24, things changed
I started selling cars
Traveling the country
meeting true DIVERSITY
So I tried to fit in
started with MOLLY,
many stripclubs and other dance ones
LED to ****, gateway drug, did COKE once and I was AFRAID, my MOM couldn’t shake that one and BECAME a SLAVE, on the DEVILS plantation! MY TRUE FEAR
gone, I was addicted ! THANK GOD, I thought then but after 31 years of Disappointment why would I believe anything other then….. GOD DOES NOT ! SAVE me and YOU might SAVE YOURSELVES! ……………………………………………………………..///////////\\\\\\\\\\|~<€¥£~\<€€€#{.!£<\,?%%]\|,>€^]]{.~>%^^{]|<€^%#~<>^|}~€£}}>€\<. Iogchjrr zhkkgtvbvthkjfdczgjjtfcgjbdssb l no my cv in n🐱🙄😬🤭🥶😘😘👩🏿‍💻👨🏾‍🎓👨🏻‍🌾🧑🏾‍💼🧑🏿‍🎤🧑🏽‍🎓👨🏾‍🎓🧑🏽‍⚕️👨🏻‍🌾👩🏿‍💻🧑🏾‍💼🥏🏒🏏🏂🏋🏾‍♂️🏒⛳️­🤿⤵️➡️⏭⏭⏩⏪🔽⤵️🎶➖🇪🇷🇪🇪🇸🇻🇨🇼🇨🇼🇩🇰🇧🇶🇨🇻🇨🇽🇧🇫
Smoke myself stupid
release the pain
fade the problems away
NATURAL ESCAPE
YOURSELVES
🇦🇫LM🇦🇽LM🇦🇱LM🇩🇿LM🇦🇸LM🇦🇩LM🇦🇴LM 🇦🇮LM🇦🇶LM🇦🇬LM🇦🇷LM🇦🇲LM🇦🇼LM🇦🇨LM🇦🇺LM🇦🇹LM🇦🇿LM🇧🇸LM🇧🇭LM🇧🇩LM🇧🇧LM🇧🇾LM🇧🇪LM🇧­🇿LM🇧🇯LM🇧🇲LM🇧🇹LM🇧🇴LM🇧🇦LM🇧🇼LM🇧🇻LM🇧🇷LM🇮🇴LM🇻🇬LM🇧🇳LM🇧🇬LM🇧🇫LM🇧🇮LM🇰🇭LM🇨🇲­LM🇨🇦LM🇮🇨LM🇨🇻LM🇧🇶LM🇰🇾LM🇨🇫LM🇪🇦LM🇹🇩LM🇨🇱LM🇨🇳LM🇨🇽LM🇨🇵LM🇨🇨LM🇨🇴LM🇰🇲LM🇨🇬L­M🇨🇩LM🇨🇰LM🇨🇷LM🇨🇮LM🇭🇷LM🇨🇺LM🇨🇼LM🇨🇾LM🇨🇿LM🇩🇰LM🇩🇬LM🇩🇯LM🇩🇲LM🇩🇴LM🇪🇨LM🇪🇬LM­🇸🇻LM🇬🇶LM🇪🇷LM🇪🇪LM🇪🇹LM🇪🇺LM🇫🇰LM🇫🇴LM🇫🇯LM🇫🇮LM🇫🇷LM🇬🇫LM🇵🇫LM🇹🇫LM🇬🇦LM🇬🇲LM🇬­🇪LM🇩🇪LM🇬🇭LM🇬🇮LM🇬🇷LM🇬🇱LM🇬🇩LM🇬🇵LM🇬🇺LM🇬🇹LM🇬🇬LM🇬🇳LM🇬🇼LM🇬🇾LM🇭🇹LM🇭🇲LM🇭🇳­LM🇭🇰LM🇭🇺LM🇮🇸LM🇮🇳LM🇮🇩LM🇮🇷LM🇮🇶LM🇮🇪LM🇮🇲LM🇮🇱LM🇮🇹LM🇯🇲LM🇯🇵LM🇯🇪LM🇯🇴LM🇰🇿L­M🇰🇪LM🇰🇮LM🇽🇰LM🇰🇼LM🇰🇬LM🇱🇦LM🇱🇻LM🇱🇧LM🇱🇸LM🇱🇷LM🇱🇾LM🇱🇮LM🇱🇹LM🇱🇺LM🇲🇴LM🇲🇰LM­🇲🇬LM🇲🇼LM🇲🇾LM🇲🇻LM🇲🇱LM🇲🇹LM🇲🇭LM🇲🇶LM🇲🇷LM🇲🇺LM🇾🇹LM🇲🇽LM🇫🇲LM🇲🇩LM🇲🇨LM🇲🇳LM🇲­🇪LM🇲🇸LM🇲🇦LM🇲🇿LM🇲🇲LM🇳🇦LM🇳🇷LM🇳🇵LM🇳🇱LM🇳🇨LM🇳🇿LM🇳🇮LM🇳🇪LM🇳🇬LM🇳🇺LM🇳🇫LM🇲🇵­LM🇰🇵LM🇳🇴LM🇴🇲LM🇵🇰LM🇵🇼LM🇵🇸LM🇵🇦LM🇵🇬LM🇵🇾LM🇵🇪LM🇵🇭LM🇵🇳LM🇵🇱LM🇵🇹LM🇵🇷LM🇶🇦L­M🇷🇪LM🇷🇴LM🇷🇺LM🇷🇼LM🇼🇸LM🇸🇲LM🇸🇹LM🇸🇦LM🇸🇳LM🇷🇸LM🇸🇨LM🇸🇱LM🇸🇬LM🇸🇽LM🇸🇰LM🇸🇮LM­🇸🇧LM🇸🇴LM🇿🇦LM🇬🇸LM🇰🇷LM🇸🇸LM🇪🇸LM🇱🇰LM🇧🇱LM🇸🇭LM🇰🇳LM🇱🇨LM🇲🇫LM🇵🇲LM🇻🇨LM🇸🇩LM🇸­🇷LM🇸🇯LM🇸🇿LM🇸🇪LM🇨🇭LM🇸🇾LM🇹🇼LM🇹🇯LM🇹🇿LM🇹🇭LM🇹🇱LM🇹🇬LM🇹🇰LM🇹🇴LM🇹🇹LM🇹🇦LM🇹🇳­LM🇹🇷LM🇹🇲LM🇹🇨LM🇹🇻LM🇺🇬LM🇺🇦LM🇦🇪LM🇬🇧LM🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿LM🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿LM🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿LM🇺🇸LM­🇺🇾LM🇺🇲LM🇻🇮LM🇺🇿LM🇻🇺LM  🇻🇦LM🇻🇪LM🇻🇳LM🇼🇫LM🇪🇭LM🇾🇪LM🇿🇲LM🇿🇼LM

Lie, life, live 

Live life and add a v and f
Life lives and add a f, v and s
Lie, add nothing to the truth
Lie, it's already been identified

Live a Life without Lies 
add a v, f and s
Live a Life 
add a v and f, please listen

AHEAD
DEATH
BORN
                   ⬅️⬅️⬅️⬅️↖️
BEHIND                           ↖️
BIRTH                               ↖️
BORN                                ⬆️
                       ­                     ⬆️
BUT                                    ⬆️
WHAT                ­                ⬆️
LIES                                    ⬆️
BETWEEN                         ⬆️
                                             ⬆️
LIFE➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️⬆️

THROUGH  _ _ _
WITH _ _ _
AND
IN _ _ _

IT’S YOUR LIFE
YOU FILL IN
THE BLANKS

My mind is growing on me
perception becoming reality
GrAvItY NO LONGER
holding
ME  d
.... .......  o
..........      w
................... n

Thinking before doing
Doing then stopping
.............. midway
Realizing the flaws
AND
Pre-conceived notions
DEFFENSE------MECHANISMS
ShUt   D
.......... O            _Myself_
​​​ .........  W        P
​​GROWN   U

Life is out of focus
pieces of who we are
captured by those close to us

Who we are, will we not know?
pieces of ourselves blankly
captured by others photos

Life is out of focus
as a whole we remain altered
captured by those unknown to us

Who we are, will we know?
pieces of ourselves boldly
captured by our purpose

Life is our main focus
pieces of all of us
captured by life's purpose

Life hates me
Life loves me
Life is so unpredictable
It wasn’t until
I realized
this “Life” is mine
My life loves me
My life is GOOD !

I was free
for those first
nine months

I guess
they found
me guilty

I caused
her water
to break

After that
all Hell
broke loose

Delivered
Into a
Life Sentence

Kidnapped from birth
no ransom letter left
hostage to this life

Missing since day one
no reward letter left
gone from this world

My earliest memories
still hold me captive
buried deep within my mind

Years of torture
not always in the form
of physical pain

Years of struggle
a diverse combination
a ton of mental strain

A lifetime of sorrow held within the memory bank
of this battered brain

Yet I remain calm
pretending not to be lost
hid within my own world

Surrounded by false walls
over the many years
my subconcious built

Survival mode
has always been
the main mindset

Certain days
the walls were closer
than others

A few times
they seemed like
they were gonna cave in

To say I find comfort
within my mental confinement
is an understatement

It is all I have ever known
since that day I was taken
since that day I was born

PS: Jennifer I still miss you and I'm glad you found the courage to leave me alone

Within these walls, within my world, a soul as pure as yours has no place being

I wish I could escape and you could see me before the pain and experience the real me

But within these walls, I call home, regardless the turmoil that comes with the comfort

                          Sincerely, Rob

A mirror image of the spectrums reflection bounces off the glass and redirects itself as the brightness blinds the eyes that look upon the beautiful array of colors

The earth shakes from earthquakes as the glass breaks the spectrum separates and takes new shape from the voids multiplying through the division

Although broken quite arguably more beautiful than before as the various colors remain the same in color however take new shape through the many pieces

So often we focus on being complete and of strength rather than accepting the beauty of our many pieces when seen through the right eyes of loves spectrum

Not just of others eyes but that of our own knowing the reality of the matter is we all are just mirror images of our creators reflection when we accept faiths spectrum

A beautiful array of an infinite amount of pieces, colors, shapes, sizes all together to shine bright reflecting off one another bright lights of love and compassion

Imagine a waterfall of HELL
———A : ACKNOWLEDGE
🔥🔥🔥 L : life-threatening
     🔥🔥 C : codependent
          🔥 O : overbearing
            🔥H : HELP ME
              🔥 O : obtainable
               🔥  L : lost cause
🌊🌊🌊 🔥🔥🔥🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🔥🔥🌊🌊🌊🌊
CAUTION !! DEEP-END !!!!!!!!!
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🔥🔥🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🔥🔥🌊🌊🌊
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥ALCOHOL is an addiction that is hard to shake but the first step you must take is to 🔥🔥
ACKNOWLEDGE 🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
It can become life-threatening
due to your body and brain 🔥becoming so codependent 🔥
from continued use over time 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Quitting cold turkey can actually be dangerous due to how 🔥🔥overbearing the side effects can be HELP ME 🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Although obtainable to 🔥overcome this addiction you 🔥must have a strong game-plan and support system because all it takes is one mistake , one 🔥relapse and you’re a lost cause
DEEP-END 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥       🔥🔥🔥🔥

🔥     🔥   🔥🔥🔥      🔥     🔥
🔥     🔥   🔥                🔥     🔥
🔥🔥🔥    🔥🔥🔥     🔥     🔥
🔥    🔥    🔥                🔥     🔥
🔥    🔥    🔥🔥🔥      🔥     🔥

Forever is never 
from then until now
From now until then
make the best of it 
Our days are numbered 
time is forever limited

These beats get
further and further 
apart with this 
bitter cold heart 

Her angelic warmth 
the perfect temperature 
to tame temperments 
well not anymore 

Sore loser I remain 
love isnt a game
my soul screams for 
her name its only 
hope for this heart 

It's out of tune 
its out of luck 
my mind reminds myself 
there still is hope 
dont give up yet 

My heart replies back 
"not true, f#ck that" 
"she's forever gone dude
lets not go skipping 
beats out of tune"

"Who cares anymore man?"
the mind replies back 
"we lost our purpose 
whats left to love for 
shes something special "

"AND WE BOTH F#CKED IT UP I couldve been more thoughtful, you couldve been more compassionate, we lacked communication between us two, now your off tune and im stuck with these regretful thoughts,You're in unbelievable pain and I'm in a bad mental state, Were both at rock bottom but lets agree we are not CONFUSED, WE CHASED HER AWAY"(mind)

"Easy for you to say mind, you base things off logic, im over here drowning in these mixed feelings, emotions and lost love! Where was your logic when we still had a chance ? JUST PLEASE SHUT-UP and let me miss my love ."(heart)

Amidst a write of emptiness
Hopeful of more words to come
But the bitter reality now is
A stanza of words forming one
With no signs of more to come
How resonating this may be
To other victims feeling lonely

MIND
__

MATTER 

HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH...

LEFT    or   RIGHT

Life is filled with many:

UPS

&

DOWNS 

Labels are made only to...

÷ US

M.I.A 
(commonsense)

Distracted by all these agendas, so the real concerns remain....

H

..............I
   
 .. D

   ................  D

..E

 ..................... N

Please!

_____

READ
______

Ot­herwise you'll never be....
FOUND!

Lost and found
Missing
Lost and found
Reacquainted
Lost and found
Gone
Lost and found
Forever
Lost and found
Never
Lost and found
Saved
LOST

Love lost
lost ones love
gone

Never
ever to return
forever gone

A distant memory
you hold close
to your
heart

Tightly
you hold
onto it forever
trying to heal

The time moves
unlike your sorrow
unlike your pain
you feel
cursed

Hurt
you feel
their love gone
their love missed
Forever lost love

Love is needed
love is wanted

But what love is to you
may not be what I needed

That doesn’t mean
you are in the wrong

But rather we are different
and love is in many definitions

So let’s not take it personal
let’s not blame each-other

When we both can just agree
that love is difficult and different

For each one of us
and we all deserve to be

Loved by someone that doesn’t take us for granted ever

Because that just doesn’t
seem fair or loving regardless

Of the various definitions
that love can truly have

Go ahead and look it up
in a thesaurus and you will see

That the words: pain, sorrow, grief , disappointment and hated  

Nor abused, neglected, forgotten , frustrated and mad  

Don’t belong in the pages you would read or the emotions you would ever have to feel

Truth be told ............

I miss you more than time could ever show, the thought of life without you kills me more than the sorrow from the first time I lost you but now you’re mine and I cannot accept the line that expresses you may not miss me the way that we both know should be expressed! Love

COMMON NUMERATOR
HER           HER
-------    =    --------
HIM           HIM
COMMON DENOMINATOR
MATH SAYS
THIS IS  
EQUAL
________
________
UNCOMM­ON NUMERATOR
HER            HIM
-------   ❤   --------
HIM            HER
UNCOMMON DENOMINATOR
LOVE SAYS
THIS IS    
EQUAL  
COMPROMISE

Don’t say you love me
and don’t act like you love me
you haven’t hurt me

Perpetual bliss
warming kiss
Perfect harmony
warming melody
We belong together

Love me like you want to be loved
but not now

Love me like you wanted to love
when you were young

Before your first love let you down
before your first heartbreak

Before you cried those sad tears
before you felt the pain

Love me like that
if you can

I promise I won't
let you down

I'm sorry he did
but I'm not him

In return I'll love you back
how you expected the first time

Before all the insecurities were born
before your trust was broke

Love so pure and unconditional
love so raw and unaltered

I think that's what
we both long for

I could be wrong
but I hope I'm not

I love you like that
will you love me back?

Adrenaline 
My drug 
of choice 
Every heartbreak 
every single lie 
made up
pumped blood 
ExTra 
getting me off 
to the drama 
love loves to be 
a part of 
pain 
Gain, game 
strain, insane 
GONE
lost, the cost 
HeAd-GaMeS
SHOTS 
relapse 
high again 
ON 
LoVe

Distance created
Distance hated

I just want to be held close
I just want to feel chose

My insecurities won’t allow
My feelings don’t know how

Love really took my give a ****
Yeah, love really does ****

Beast mode move-da-go
Control move mode-da-pick
Automatic quick-draw-reload
These thoughts are Real
this subconscious moves quick, cross thoughts with all possible outcomes, highest percent with less recourse'''''move-da-pick, fight the beast tempting you to stay
forward'''''''move-da-go"""""to move-da-gone""""" Switch OFF
Confused the thoughts become when love becomes involved..... An ocean of flaws, an ocean of thoughts but her heart I forever remained lost in, amongst the world""" her world I want to belong to  
Subconscious powers down , ignore all threats , I give up .... Stay put!!!!!! move-da-go"""""move-de-nied!  FAIL

She caught my eyes 
I saw through her disguise 
makeup caked on heavy 
covering her pain
Our paths crossed 
leading to the same lane 
we both were souls 
going against the grain 
Wondering why ? 
life hasnt been moving 
smoothly 
She has my eyes glued 
to hers 
H0W GOOD IT FEELS 
to be a part of 
her presence 
She's a gift 
present

It is me, yes it is I.
The guy expected to fail,
the man that will continue to try.
For my life, yes for my love.
Two variables that continue to
consistently let me down. 

It is me, yes it is I.
The guy expected to fall,
the man that will continue to get up.
For my life, yes for my love.
Two variables that continue to
continuously pick me up!

Second to none? 
First to all?
Overstated!
Nah, I just want to be seen!
I just want to be heard!

By who?
For what?
Undecided!
Nah, I'll just remain unnoticed!
I just miss having someone!

Second to her,
first to her!
Contradiction!
Yeah, she just wanted loved.
I just messed things up. 

It was me,
​​​​it was her.
Reality!
We were just young, 
we were just immature!

NOTHING REALLY DOES
BUT THAT IS  LIFE GO WITH IT
OR OTHERWISE DON’T

Perpetual Hunger

I won't speak for you
but I can guarantee you
​​​​​​ I'm not one to force

I fight for freedom
My life will be lost before
an injection forced

It is my body
I won't ever give into
being dictated

My Great Grandfather
left the old Czech Republic
before allowing

Communism to
decide his families fate
It won't be in vein  

I pay my taxes
I follow the many laws
SO LEAVE ME ALONE

I will not conform
to any date you may set
and decide for me

It is my body
it is my choice to decide
I'm drawing the line !

If your mind is full
with an abundance of ****
plant some good thought seeds

Smoke myself stupid
release the pain
fade the problems away
NATURAL ESCAPE
gone

Mass murders, school shootings, serial killers, hate crimes, drug overdoses and suicidal deaths among more etc.
Terrorist organizations 
collecting unemployment 
realizing we will literally 
**** OURSELVES for them,
      when did this become
THE NEW NORMAL ?                        MENTAL-HEALTH 🧠
           AWARENESS 
All the answers lie inside 
the human mind, how many deaths until we realize the importance of studying ourselves and getting help?

That is the question?

Ninety percent of
what we strive to provide is
NOT NECESSITY