I need time
just time
that’s all I need
and I’ll be better
life keeps threatening me
but I’m ok with it
I know I’m not perfect
but I’ll keep fighting
trying to become
BETTER

Drown the pain
Regret the threats
Your subconscious
Tells yourself
Don’t listen
Reply back
With laughter
Choose happiness
And choose
To love
Yourself regardless
Let go
Let love
For yourself
take over
Regardless the
Past pain
Or insecurities
Just be
Yourself genuinely
And accept
Who you
Truly are
Move on
Love life
And your
True self
For who
You are

I'm the bad apple 
judge what you don't understand 
I'm that ******* guy

The world from which I see outside of this screen is REALITY...

The world from which I see within this screen is fake...

   "ThE wOrLd YoU sEe Me FrOm, WeLl ThAt WoRlD iS wHaT kEePs Me SANE... FrOm EvErY wOrD wRoTe, I pReVeNt A bOtTlEd Up ThOuGhT!"

 The world from which I'm seen outside of this screen is REALITY...

The world from which I'm seen within this screen is fake...

Mushrooms to powder
ziplock bag full
Pour me another handful
lick it from my palms
Rob quit thinking
turn your brain off
Get lost in the night’s sky
from Mother Nature’s
MOON DUST

In-between homes now
     amidst infinite options
                         I only want her

Listen
Whisper
Call
My Jane means
Gear talk to grin
Lost sold caught give in
****** skins
Slims cigarette burns
Put out fires with
Liars that spit out
Watered down values
WORDS

I can’t hear you

I can’t see  you

I can’t speak to you

But my heart still HURTS

If your mind is full
with an abundance of ****
plant some good thought seeds

Please leave resentment
you were never invited
and now she is gone

When I'm high, I become the guy, that when I'm not, is hard to become, but when I'm low, I become the guy, that when I'm not, is hard to overcome!

Liver and onions 
both making you cry 
One from to much 
DRINKING 
the other from 
slicing with a knife

American Dream,
     or better yet a nightmare?
Look at the numbers

                    Failure more likely
the statistics just don't lie
                     Just try to survive

Politics, crime rates
       terrorist plots, pandemics
and everything else

               Life is more about
protecting yourself more than
      focusing on growth

                  A reality
we all must accept right now
          It's the bitter truth

Imagine a place
where your face
looks confident
Amidst a space
where you’re safe
without any doubt
Where your voice
no longer screams
but instead sings
Away from fears
from past years
and insecurities
A world in which
you can switch
and forever ditch
your past flaws
No longer
feelings undesired
they are retired
your now
whole again
Dressed in
new attire
feeling proud
and rediscovered
uncovered from sin
Horns, thorns , torn
GONE
Right, wrong
left, right
up, down
don’t exist
Only one way
for you to go
to know
to show
No stress from
OPTIONS
CHOICES
DECISIONS
SUBCONSCIOUS
SHUT OFF
Just be yourself
ACCEPTED
APPLIED
NO VOCABULARY
NOR WORDS
ONLY FEELINGS
WITH PURE THOUGHTS
OF ENERGY
No turmoil
no regrets
JUST SUCCESS
FOR EVERYONE
All LOVE
No hate
Second guessing
GONE
Everyones mind
STRONG
MENTAL HEALTH
No need for
AWARENESS
there’s nothing wrong
PERFECT
Would a place
or space like this
exist I ask myself
WITHIN MY DREAM
If one bite could be
REVERSED
and WORDS that were
HEARD were honored
by the ones that were
SUPPOSED TO LISTEN
To a GOD versus a snake
that took ADVANTAGE of
US ALL , not just them
SO WE PAY FOR
DECISIONS
Of others
Why not
PUT US
IN THAT PREDICAMENT
and let us
DECIDE our fate
As I awake from my daydream
from a phone ringing
As it almost falls off my leg
I catch it and see
AN APPLE WITH A BITE
OUT OF IT
I-PHONE
Could it be
THE MARK OF THE BEAST
***-***-XXXX
We know they record us
WE KNOW THEY TRACK US
We know they market to us
BASED ON CONVERSATIONS
just like the snake
ALWAYS IN OUR EARS
wait maybe this isn’t a dream
BUT RATHER A NIGHTMARE

Large cold drops nonstop land on the tops of their heads, the dogs awake with tails that shake to hit the front door, only to be stopped midstep just before their paws hit the wet doorsteps, when will it stop their eyes ask as they anxiously wait to go outside, light shades of green that fade to various tans and browns that line the paved roads on both sides have desperately needed this rain...
Spring is here as the sounds of the big cold drops landing on all the tops of all earthbound is heard for all willing to listen, a tall tale of the warm weather to come and the dark bright greens to yellow shades soon to take over along with Summer.

Life hates me
Life loves me
Life is so unpredictable
It wasn’t until
I realized
this “Life” is mine
My life loves me
My life is GOOD !

Notice
better than
"Know"tice
don't assume

I'm becoming an old man, a cold man... if only others understood, what it is I understand. If only... they could

But the truth is, they cannot... 
I'm different to put it simply,​​​​​​ different than you all. If only...
I wasn't misunderstood

   "if only we simply grasped us all, understanding not everything is meant to be...UNDERSTOOD!"

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊An ocean of🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊CONTRADICTION 🌊🌊
🌊🌊amidst a mind🌊🌊🐠
🌊🌊🌊the size of a🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊FISH BOWL🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

"I never speak statistically because statistically speaking I shouldn't be able to talk!" RG

You crane 
Pole and
Rush a
Chin a
Your up
Us a 
Come on 
Denom in at ors
Let ors 
Con son ants 
An duh
Vow else 

So it seems 
we all bleed 
We all fear
we all exist

We ALL are 
Letters in the same 
Alpha bets

Random puzzle pieces make up your morals as the values come tumbling down Jenga, your love life like a yo yo... up and down, back and forth, walk the dog, around the world until you're all strung out, communicating is like scrabble... words that mean the most are hard to find, your finances like sudoku... wherever it fits it fits, not always
... Welcome to the game of Life...

Life is just a game
so quit working to survive
you can play to win

Hereditary
SCARY
Carry the burdens
Within my
DNA
Regardless
the growth
My memory
of the pain
Will never be
GONE
Ever
Never
WILL I FORGET
The ****
that they dealt
ME
but
since I realized
the life
I have !
REALIZED
the importance
of accepting the
PAST
Dissecting it
and
the importance
of
MOVING-ON
GROWTH
The blood
I was
made from
may be thicker than
WATER
BUT
never
HAVE I
been treated worse
from a stranger
than my own
BLOOD

Farm to table
FRESH
Freezer to table
PROCESSED
Farm to table
EFFORT
Freezer to table
CONVENIENT
Farm to table
INVEST
Freezer to table
REGRET
Farm to table
HEALTHY
Freezer to table
QUESTIONABLE
Farm to table
WORTHY
Freezer to table
NOT
Support your body
AND
Support your farmers
NOT
Big box companies

Haters keep hating 
You should've been hugged way more 
It is not your fault

Layers upon layers
and still I see you
Beneath them all
you remain scared
Take your time dear
only you can take them off
One by one they will fall
don't try to conquer them all
At once.......

I tried
really freaking hard
tongue tied
no reply
Looooong sighhhhh
brain fried
emotions discard
to the side
soul died
problems pryed
whyyyy God whyyyyy
I quit
throw the towel in
straight lit
burned wick
both sides
feelings hide
no room to sit down
heart lied
Im tired
fired up
sirens ruuuuun
I'm done
nine one one
collapsed lungs
life stung, brung
hung subconscious
abnoxious mindset
gifted talent
captive to flesh
I'm not who I am
befriend reflections
selections made
parts played
patterns stayed
when will I feel
okaaaay saaaaay
sooooon pleeeease
hellp deal, steal me
awaaaay, todaaaay
this isn't a game
regain trainwreck
breathing becoming
difficult, hurting
flirting with death
chest caved in
slaved to
past pain
insane within this
membrane...laaaaaame
saaaaame, aaaage old
situations, validations
never appearing promising
pinky swear mixed with glares cares go unnoticed
clouded with distortion
darkness stares
fares piling up
tolls avoided
polls divided
anger subsidized
privatized issues
tissues  by the box full
absorbing alcohol
leaving dryness from
lack of softness
this is a mess
where's bounty
quicker picker upper
pieces shattered
heart splattered
eyeliner upside down
war paint
this kind, this mind
of mine, not for the
faaaaaaaint, aaaaaint
you feeling better
from my ugly treasure
no map necessary
these valuables planted
at my feet, repeat, download
discrete ***** matter
scatter this out, doubt
trapped inside and out
leave this world
in a body bag
blood fills up
the well to hell
your asking to much
for your soul
reeeeetreeeeat, defeeeeeat
no compete clause
floss the debris
these traumatic non-diplomatic, sporadic, hypnotic, anti-value, shattered glass.....moral compass, failure to launch, trigger pulled grenade.....explode
ticking time bomb
threats, let's set this off
battles scatter, wars pour
from the door
knock hard
go away, today now, gone
not not double negative these words fumbling from a fragile brain, train the waves never to leave the bubble, keep them coming, stop running in the hall, tall mental strain, short fuse, trapped abuse, hung from the nooose...traveling by caboooooose looooose the
attituuuuude, duuuuuude
rude , quiet down, riot stuck
no luck , inside voice now, how laaaaaame, taaaaame
yourselfffffff, helllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
screeeeeeeeeeeeeam
meeeeeeeeeeeeean
gleeee­eeeeeeeam
but don't shine
bright, light ignite
charcoals refuse
infuse substance abuse
now that's a flame
comfort warms
comfort warns
delay of reaction
two hour delay
recess school's out
I learned all the **** they didn't teach me THE HARD WAY
literally fade the black cascade , fake brovado
middle class movado
bravo , he go round and round, rodeo , big steer, lightyears ahead, bread, loafs of lacked love, feast on these carbs, toast, spread , peanut butter jelly time, slime , lime placed on the rim, keep em coming , I'm fuming at the ears , fears, peers not had, relatable a false illusion to bitter for babysitter to keep an eye on , funded friendship for future fam, **** this is alot of slots to fill up with cots of thoughts sleeping ....laid to rest, r.i.p this minute in 61 seconds it'll be over , can't stop the world from turning but can leave it for good, rocket juice, who's coming with , plastic tubes room temperature placed in a freezer box once but now removed , melting cheer to frowns just look in the mirror ! MAN DOWN

Lie, life, live 

Live life and add a v and f
Life lives and add a f, v and s
Lie, add nothing to the truth
Lie, it's already been identified

Live a Life without Lies 
add a v, f and s
Live a Life 
add a v and f, please listen

Constant fight
constant write

Constant flame
constant name

Constant bubble
constant struggle

Instant nothing
instant some….not thing
CLICHE
don’t blame me
FOR THE IMPROV
I’m just playing
DA GAME
dramatic
Systematic product
of a desired
variable
MISSING
until
I’M
gone
LOST

since a smartphone came
we all have became more dumb
just ask your smartphone

No more reading maps
the bookshelves are all bare now
its all in your palms

smartphones own us all
kidnapping our brain power
but we worship them

If I was a lamp, she would’ve been the SHADE

If I was a door, she would’ve been the DEADBOLT

If I was a picture, she would’ve been the FRAME

If my mind wasn’t so creative, I would just come out and say….

She never let me shine

She prevented doors of opportunity from opening

She refused to let me breathe

TRAPPED

I’m shinning bright NOW
New doors are opening for ME
    My art is abroad
         for the world to SEE

BEAUTY THROUGH PAIN

Working really hard now, so I can become a *** later .

Every girl in my life was the salt, I always was the ocean, she came along and covered all my wounds and prevented the burning! 

Every girl in my life is the salt, I always am the ocean, she left a long time ago, exposing all my wounds and left me burning!

I’m in the front seat
I can’t say
it doesn’t feel great
I wish I remained
in the backseat
still with her and me

I'm not the Wizard 
but i'll gladly give you my
Courage, heart and brain

We remain away
but together we remain
always in spirit

Do not think twice,  predicate, adjective. adverb and Proper Noun, I got this! I'll just be myself and provide it ALL!

Preach
Teach

Earn
Learn

Earn by preaching
Learn by teaching

Knowledge is power
Wealth is a mindset

Make it rain
Walk on water

Money can't
Buy happiness

A valuable
Life lesson

I’m on fire
STOP, DROP & ROLL

I’m hurting
SIT, KNEEL & CRY

My heart is broken
NO CURE FOR THAT

My body feels weak
SIT, LAY & RELAX

None of this matters,  SHE’S
GONE, DONE & MOVED-ON

MISSING
AMBER ALERT

Let the danger come!
I'll gladly avoid it all.
I am not afraid!

Start your day with goals
remind youself of purpose
be prepared to win

Just because its louder doesn't mean its heard better

"Actions speak louder than words"

 

Words would've been heard but your violence forces me TO SHUTDOWN

Born to a ******
known to some but soon to all
Jesus Christ our lord

God's only son is
given up for forgiveness
of all of our sins


Father, son, holy-
ghost resseructed from dead
He will come again

Devil hard at work
Hell on earth finally here
Redeem your faith now

Only one to judge
Only one you must answer
Where will you call home?

The majority of my life
I was dependent on things
wether it was adults from youth
or the insecurities they nurtured
Both led to dependency on
many different types of abuse
All the bad examples, advice
and role models led straight to
the bad vices such as alcohol and drug abuse in my attempts to numb the pain, in an attempt to stop the strain, in an attempt to clear my brain but all I accomplished was more falseness to further nurture more pain within myself and pain to be brought onto others
Many loved ones lost the cost of not handling my  business and delaying the inevitable because eventually there’s no running from the reality of what’s going on, no escape from the hate that resides in my mind, no liquid, no pill, no plant, no substance that could prevent me from knowing the TRUTH
A lesson I learned very late but one must trust the teacher brave enough to venture to the dark side long enough to share the light, She did that for me and I took it for granted, her skies became of the darkest amidst her life while trying to help me help myself survive, She wasn’t just a loved one but most definitely the “Love Of My Life” Her presence created change that never ever would’ve been resurrected
A lifeless lifetime victim was the path that I was traveling
Her love stopped my destiny
DEAD IN IT’S TRACKS
Dead our relationship became
That was the final blow
that it took, for me to look
in the mirror and realize it was
ME and not HER
We’re separated now
PHYSICALLY
But never were we
MENTALLY
Ups and downs
Higher than NASA has been
and lower than the equator
We’ve been through them all
Seconds seemed like years
since we have been apart
Years seemed like milliseconds
when she was in my arms
I know how to change that now
We desire to be together now
With many undetermined pieces to an eternal puzzle of happiness, we just have a couple more variables to figure out ( light at the end of the tunnel) It wasn’t until I became independent that I could cherish what it means to be dependent
Independency should never not be an option and dependency should never be a necessity
When the insecurities were addressed, dissected, studied
and let go of.... FADED
Is when it became apparent the lessons she created that I so hated then but now know the love that would be granted from the POWER OF GROWTH
The result : a better man
the result : a better father
the result: a better son
the result: a rekindled love
the result: the return of my love
INDEPENDENCE isn’t just about being free from others hands but also being free from yourself as well
We can be our own worse enemy, we can be our own culprit and we can make ourselves victims
OR
We can be our own best friend, we can be honest with ourselves and we can create CHANGE

Vibrations
magnetic force fields
Pyramids
gravitational pull
Mother Nature
runs her course
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
Canyons, Mountains
waterfalls, valleys
Earth’s stones
laid to rest
An outer galaxy
with random threats
Comets, asteroids
and meteorites
DEBRIS
Complexity
in movement
Spin, rotate
and Directions
North, South, East and West
Compass directs
Our Fate
beyond known
Knowledge
The key to unlock
all these secrets
Amidst the bottom
of the oceans
SOMEWHERE
Maybe , maybe not
somewhat unlikely
the magic 8 ball
displays on the Circle Screen
Fast forward
current time
Added stresses
to age old problems
Pollution
overpopulation
islands surrounded by
PLASTIC BOTTLES
Overcrowded landfills
extinct animals
periodic oil spills
Where’s Mother Nature’s
MASK ?
When is tomorrow ?
and who’s living for then ?
In a world that’s all about
NOW NOW NOW
HOW did it come to this
when did happiness
come in the form of
POSSESSIONS
The comet already came
the asteroid already hit
the meteorites everywhere
When mankind landed
it may have been
friendly fire
But that was then
and not now
Every step we take more debris we leave falling behind
Doubt that ?
Then look back
COMPARE
Stare , but please quit pretending
you can’t See, or afford to
PAY ATTENTION

Hugs and kisses 
accept our differences
Rockets and missiles
accept your decisions 
Love can conquer all 
but so can hate too

What's been said has been heard, what's been done has been did. What's been us has been you! 
Blame me and I'll take blame,
Hell! I blame myself too.
We're still apart today,
tomorrow we will be too!
I'll still be okay, or so I say.
I'll still be in pain but that's always been the case.
I cannot Mentally accept the lost love is lost because in my mind it has or never was! I love with all I have and all I got, whether you accept that love or not, I willing cannot shut it off, You are, were, was and still are the one I do, did, want and will still love! Yes you are my dear, you are the one.

Forever together, forever apart.

Forever desired, forever missed.

       "Nothing is forever, for this life is not eternal but for as long as I live, you will be mortally missed!"

Can we please just talk
heart to heart
If I’m going to accept
what you say
If I’m going to hate
the way you feel
Then let’s turn off our minds
and figure this out
Heart to heart
is the only way
to communicate
when dealing with
LOVE