Hello, we've reviewed your application,
we're based just down the road from Nottingham station.

Can you make it in?
We'd love to see you,
follow the signs, and walk straight through.

I filled out the form with help from a friend,
but he didn't get the call,
which I can't comprehend.

So, just me off to see the manager,
wear a shirt, plain white,
and of course a tie but not too tight.

I sit down, we talk, it's going well.
"So, why do you want to work here?"
"Because I'm broke as hell?"
"I mean, I love what you sell."

"Name three of your main strengths"
God, not this,
I always think they're *******.

Three things? So what do they need?
I'm honest, punctual, and work well in a team?

I'm in there for ages.
I thought this would be quick,
I hope I didn't sound too thick.
Maybe my answers did the trick?

I replay it in my head, over and over,
I just don't know how it's going to go.

I'm stressed as I walk back to the bus,
that was a lot of effort for an evening job at Toys R Us.

Some blokes are full of Dad jokes,

They have a wealth of these and are delivered with the corny expertise that only a Dad has.

They get a grin on their face as they lean forward like they’re about to say something profound.

“I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.”

“What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.”

“I hate Russian Dolls, they’re so full of themselves.”

“Apparently, pet birds are popular this Christmas, they’re flying off the shelves.”

Passed down from Grandads to fathers,

One-liners for us to consume,

It’s the closest thing some have to a family heirloom.

“What did the first African phone user say? Kenya hear me now?”

“A cat's favourite Queen song? Don’t stop meow.”

When reversing his car, “This takes me back.”

Wedding speech, “It’s been an emotional day, even the cakes in tiers.”

There've been so many down the years,

Yes, they’re cringy but we should enjoy them while we can,

You never know what's in store, and they’ll be a time when we’d love to hear them just once more.