i am ashamed
he is struggling to beat cancer (still fighting)
he is struggling to beat mental health (since passed)
and me...
struggling with physical and mental health
tired of fighting
but
I have to
for those whom I care about
I am ashamed of myself.

My soul is shredded, hanging of me like ribbons.
My heart is torn, dripping blood down my chest.
Everyday is about healing and recovering.
Yet, I cant help to wonder whether I will mend as me or an unlovable monster.

You took my breath away with your smile
You stole my heart with your kisses
You made me appreciate the things in life I never know existed.

My heart has been shredded
My soul destroyed
Yet my body continue to live
Like that of a fungus in a cold dark place.