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 May 2019 Perdue Poems
Crucifix
I fall to the lonely fire of faith. The burnout stars of past designs shine there. Lost drowning in the lake of time, soundless effigies hanging in space like crystal lights on Christmas nights.
In tonight we find them in the aftermath of red sky. Tomorrow they faint to draw their blades behind the shields of clouds. Hiding in the thicket of Smaug they still burn there just out of reach. The lonely fires of faith.
 May 2019 Perdue Poems
Candlewood
I don’t know how to love you.
He broke me down like
the longest math equation.
But, in the process of solving he found
no solution. Only lost numbers
memories stuck on the chalkboard.

You say you’re too broken too.
But now you’re here.
Confused and softened possibly
afraid.
Definitely afraid.

And in this moment my mind
flushed with all of the feelings I kept in
my little locked box.
The cherishment I have for you and the
care and want that come along with
you. I wanted you. I want you.
But my brain tells me I don’t.

So my words are broken but my mind
is made up.

I want to be with you but you
don’t want to be with a
f—- up.
I liked this boy for a long time. We dated for a bit but he didint like me so we ended things, we are still vERY close friends. I still like him to this day and I have since our relationship. He’s been really intimate lately and I set some boundaries because “he doesn’t like me.” I also don’t know how to have any sort of contact with anyone because my ex boyfriend was so possessive of me so now any physical contact makes me think that people are being romantic—which is obviously not the case. The guy I like is really touchy that’s why I put those boundaries. And today, he texted me and told me he now wants to go out, he didint ant to the first time because he had just gotten out of a breakup. But the way he said it was very vague. So, I didint want to asume anything, so I said “okay?” And he got very upset. Now I’m hoping things work out because I’m lonely and really like him. Let’s jsut hope my awkwardness doesn’t **** me.
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