Bye bye, I just want to die.
I’m eating myself but I’ll never ever be satisfied in here.
Is there a place where I can feel save?
Is there a time for me to feel free?
Can I let go, really fall backwards?
Nobody believes the fall when they see it.
I’ll just be dropping down in the middle of the street.
But instead of being injured I’ll burst into a thousand pieces.
And nobody would find them.
It keeps on happening.
Almost every day.

Bye bye, I just want to die!
But instead I break, I shake, I fly in a thousand pieces.
And at night I drop down but not to rest well, just to collect the pieces.
As well as I can.
Nobody can find me.
Sometimes somebody finds a piece.
Thank you so much, let me give you this one.
Be gentle please but just fly with me.
In the end we say: bye bye.

I just want to die.
Nice to be out of this feeling for some time.
Everyone can only have a piece, never fully me.
And there are too many pieces flying and falling around now.
I don’t know where I can go.
I have no save place.
Feed me freedom.
I’m starving.
I’m lying all around the cold floor.
Nobody can see.
They’re just walking on like me in this mess.
I’m the mess, my world is in pieces all the time.
I can’t collect myself.
I’m flying around.
You can’t hold me, keep me ever, anywhere, inside, outside, upside down.
Bursting all the time.
Bye bye, I just fly, bye bye, I just want to die.

But all the pieces keep flying and I’m never ready to find them and burry them all.
I’m so tired.
I can’t hide.
I can’t find the pieces inside to stop myself from flying.
To finally say: bye bye, I’m just gonna die!

the red glow of her cigarette.
the fingers of her left hand
yellow  with nicotine
clutching dying flowers

"buy a rose for your lover," she says,
"buy one for your wife. buy 2."

"the flowers are wilted."

"maybe it's your eyes that are wilted.

she had black hair
black as the night
the violent night
and gray eyes
the shade of ***** ice

"you must love
someone,
some of the time, no?
put a rose on
your father s grave, then."

"love is like lost pennies
falling from a broken jar."

she smooths her hair with one pale,
long, fingered hand, "you re crazy."

"my mom says so."

i was born to
have adventure

I followed her up the steps.

i was born to chase the night
through the forest
of dead roses.

If the filed of lavenders
sighs when it yearns for her scent

If the sunflowers worship
her raven hair, like the sun

If the moon weeps with
longing when she’s asleep  

If the cherries bleed in her
mouth like my heart when she left

I heard you call my name in a dream
Did you need me, my love?

I stayed up all night
desperately crying your name  
Only to carve it into a poem

Won’t you come to me?
Lie to me my dear darling one,
but please do not leave me
in the darkness hungry for you

I beg of you,
my dear,
my light,
my first
and last poem

On a bleak midnight,
do come to me with
your ardent desires

I will give you my broken heart
to break again if you ask of me

Or at least light my last cigarette,
and set me free

What is there left to say?
I am weary and out of breath,
but if my words ever reach you

Know that I am willing
to live twice for you,
if you are near me

Love,
I will miss you
for a lifetime

And it is alright,
you can touch me,
but do not leave any bruises

Write me a poem,
I promise I will not say
I am unworthy of you

Lie to me, my darling one
Tell me you love me,
I wish to only be adored by you

Hold my trembling hand,
I desperately need to feel
peace for a little while longer

Soak your scent
into my tortured skin
for I need your warmth

Make me cry,
but do not lick the tears

Plenty of fish in the sea,
Or so she was taught to believe.
Men come and go, like the tides and the waves,
But she almost drowned trying to get them to stay.

She kept them proud and warm
And waited out their storm,
Now she's pacing the shore with her heart in her hand,
Only one pair of footprints is left in the sand.

Maybe she was meant to be
The lighthouse for the lonely.
For again she is left with the moonlight above,
Watching the waves for love.

- p. winter