Unworthy
Uninspired
Unmotivated
Unwanted



Unwilling
To feel like this forever

Dear friend,
I swear I tried my best
I held out for as long as I could
But I had to resort to the pills

When people ask 'How are you doing?'
They don't really want to know the truth

Colour between the lines
Watch for the warning signs
At the first glimmer of sunshine
Close the blinds
Be wary of the good times

A day will come when my dream will come true
One I have dreamt of every night and morn
My dream will come true when you'll be born
That day I will give you a name
One I have thought of for so long
And you will give me a name too
One that completes me
A day will come when you'll call me 'Mom'

And this my dear I solemnly promise
Through the ever changing times, I'll be your constant
When the world leaves you shivering cold
My being will keep you warm
No matter how lost or alone you may feel
In me, you'll always have a home

A day will come when I'll tell you a story
One I have repeated to myself for so long
Of how the mere thought of your existence
Gave me the strength, to weather through every storm

I'm not afraid to admit now
Mistakes were made
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just not by me

Hope is not dead
It's on life support
Sure hope it pulls through

So here I lay in bed again
Counting up my lot
What I lost, what I won
What again I lost

Today I fooled myself
For a moment I fooled them all
I swear I soar so high
Before the inevitable fall

Then darkness reared its twisted head
That old familiar friend
Said: fool yourself all you want
I will always be your end

This time I will do things differently
I've learned how to play the game
But these legs they turn black and blue
Waiting for a call that never came

So darkness reared its head again
That old familiar friend
Said: Well, what did you expect?
I am your only end

And when the bitterness has taken root
That's when they give you a second shot
But it's too late now, I've lost my nerve
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop

Come on darkness, where are you now
Atleast with you I don't have to pretend
So maybe its not so tragic
That you will always be my end

Why can't these fingers let the pain slip through
And only hold on to the good
Why can't I find the right words to say
Or act like I'm told I should

Darkness is standing behind me
That old familiar friend
Whispered softly: It's time to stop fighting
You know I'll be your end

Now I see the world for what it really is
Nothing but a wasteland
There's no place for someone like you out here
So just bury your head in the sand

I let the shadow of darkness in
That old familiar foe
Said: I am not a shadow, little girl
I am your very soul

I didn't lose
I didn't win
Hell, I just gave in
Guess I had known it all along
How this would always end

There is no hope for change
As far as the eye can see
I did not fail in this system
The system failed me

Come see the world through my eyes
Come feel it through me

Here ugliness is more ugly than imagination
But beauty more beautiful than thoughts can be
Here bruises of the soul are a visible blue
For anyone who dares to look closely

You can feel the pain of the broken man
Standing where he lay and bled
Here a papercut is as bad as a gashing wound
But the blood is a brilliant red

Here life is rarely ever fair
You don't get what you give
But you welcome the disappointment with open arms everytime
For to feel is to live

I've been patient for all these years
How much longer must I wait
If you're willing to take responsibility today
I promise you a clean slate

To you we are all equal
But only I share your name
Can't you see: The people you love,
And the people who love you
They are not the same

You lost my respect a long time ago
But the love still remains
Despite every tainted memory
Your blood still runs through my veins

Now the truth is right in front of you
Just open your eyes and see
Show me that you're worth that love
Before you lose all of me

I think it's all your fault
You're convinced I am to blame
Even in winning, I lose this battle
There is nothing left to gain

Show me your heart
And I'll show you some respect

Bricks and mortar
Cinder and stone
An empty house is not a home

The smell of new paint
A dark blue undertone
An empty house is not a home

Streetlights shine bright
On an untrodden road
An empty house is not a home

Crisp green grass
A pathway of cobblestone
An empty house is not a home

Old regrets buried in the yard
New seeds are sown
An empty house is not a home

Searching through every room
Aimlessly I roam

Something I had lost
Something l'd never known
An empty house is not a home

Lost in deep thought
Resting on my throne
In a quiet corner
I sit alone

How close have we come
How far have we grown
An empty house is not a home

A roaring fireplace
Cold shivering bones

There's an itch at the back of my throat
Something you said today
I find it hard to swallow
My stomach is turning knots
My tongue too flaccid to make a sound
The poison of your vile words
Have left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth

Someday, not far from now
You'll choke on your own words and die