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Asher Jan 6
I’m sorry you felt you had reached a dead end
Im sorry you had it rough
I wish you’d stuck around, if only for another year
You would’ve been 18 and you would’ve seen the world change like you wanted
I’m sorry you felt you had to die to make things right
But thank you, because people say it is better now
For you, and only you, I painted my nails pink
Jan 6 is paint it pink for Leelah. As in, paint your ring fingernail pink for Leelah Alcorn, a 17 yo trans girl who killed herself in 2014. She came out at 14, when she learned what transgender meant and was abused by her parents since then. She felt she had nothing to do but **** herself. In her suicide note, she wanted her death to mean something, and for trans people to one day be treated as the normal people we are. Her parents never accepted her as their daughter, not in life nor in death. She would have been 23 this year.
Asher Dec 2019
Call me Prometheus and show me where the rock is so I can lie down
Chain me and bring a hungry eagle
I didn’t give any fire but to myself
I couldn’t help it, I was cold
It feels it was set up this way from the day I was called into existence
Even feeling that, is cause for punishment
Call me Prometheus, and my anxiety an eagle
Give me religion so I may be chained and knowledge of who I am so I may be ****** either way
People say religion is good for your mental health, but for me, it’s not. I’m bi and trans and I can’t help but accept myself and that causes tension with my beliefs. The best advice anyone has is to go to a church where they’ll say it’s fine but if I did I’d just worry I was lying to myself and it wasn’t fine and I’m going to hell. I don’t mind living, but that I exist means something’s gonna happen after I die and I’m technically in control. But I want to live my life for me, which means loving who I love and transitioning, which is a sin. It feels so unfair I was made to exist, especially like this, and I’m supposed to live for my God either way, and I’m just going to hell if I don’t and even feeling and thinking about this is sin.
  Dec 2019 Asher
annh
Starry, starry night;
An indigo beauty queen
In pearl drop earrings.
‘Maybe life is all about twirling under one of those midnight skies, cutting a swathe through the breeze and gently closing your eyes.’
- Sanober Khan
Asher Nov 2019
I want to grow so fast
Everyone says to slow down
But it’s hard to see yourself
Where you don’t want to be
Asher Nov 2019
I’m beginning to wonder if maybe
Turnips rot because it seems like mine are
My wings are bald and useless from plucking at them
I’m beginning to wonder if maybe
Tomorrow just holds another pointless day like this
I’m beginning to wonder if maybe
I’ll ever reach that place I only recently could almost feel
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