To whom do I turn to?

Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani.

I am my own confidant. I have exhausted all my existing options.

Diversification, Diversification, Diversification. I went all in.

I have lived long enough to see the irreversible flaws of my family. Soon, my partner will be no more. I have not invested enough in my friendships.

Perhaps, life is meant to be lived in solitude.

This was much closer than I expected. Had I realized this earlier, I might have done things differently.

Running through the checklist, double-checking if I missed anything vital.

Major points seem somewhat in check, although I could work on some things: better coitus? cutting on fast foods? diversifying my skillset? career prospects?

In retrospect, the biggest accomplishment of this quarter has been investing in my happiness.

This will be an investment I'll continue to pursue moving forward. The rest shall follow.

In search of greener pastures, we work tirelessly on their farms until our backs ache for a place called home.

We work the farms that do not belong to us. Deceived by the fresh produce and the beautiful work of our labour, we plough on.

From the scorching sun to the blistering winter, we plough on.

But in the end, was it worth it?

Fulfilling. Simple. Elegant.

Fulfillment is derived from simplicity. Elegance is simplicity. Quality stems from simplicity. Simplicity is effortless. Simplicity emerges in vitro. Simplicity is observed at equilibrium. All systems converge to simplicity.

Ample opportunities, ample time, ample rewards.

Simply said.

Impatient, I'm tempted to turn around.

There is a method to my madness, all that is left to do is to exercise an inkling of patience.

Despite the darkness, I must trek on.

Zion awaits.

Here lies the Lord's most beautiful pearls.

Bold like no other.

Unparalleled and unrivaled like the sweet sounds from the Kora.

Carved with the finest materials and left to settle on the 8th day of rest.

Mashallah, one of His best creations to date.

These are the pearls of Fouta Djallon.

We celebrate the complications and complexity of life but is it really?

Could life not be simpler than what we imagine it to be?

Is everything not a social construct? If so, why did we construct these hierarchies of complexity that are only understood by the "elite"?

Are we infatuated with elitism? Have we blurred the lines between our wants and our needs?

Why the complications when you only want to tell the time?

Is this all for the pursuit of happiness?

The heavens know I love her.

Yet shamefully, my body aches for lust.

I confide in the intimacy of other women. Ashamed of my actions, I can't dare tell her of my exploits.

As nature would have it, karma was the order of the day. Confronted by the most stringent of ultimatums, I had to give in.

I had imagined that this moment would have arrived on the eve of judgement day.  But here I stand in front of her, trying to spare what's left of my blushes.

As I plea for forgiveness, I witness her trust, one that I took forever to build, crumble before my eyes. I had to salvage what was left, I had no option. I can't lose her; Not now, not ever.

I'm currently in limbo, I await her judgement. I desperately need to regroup, the world doesn't care about my feelings.

But while I wait for her to decree our fate, I comfort myself in the pleasures of poetry.

how are you old friend?

thought you forgot about me for a second. I was just thinking of you.

I'd love to stay and chat but you've sadly caught me at a bad time, I was on my way out.

haha, you've always been the charmer, you know that?

She is independent and assumes every inch of her being.

She doesn't submit to the stochastic process that is love. Love is painful and uncomfortable, yet we withstand it for its sporadic moments of magic. She knows this.

She does not seek approval from him.

She's empowering. And rightfully so.

I don't know what it holds, I never did.

Although I can't traverse past the speed of light, of late I've been wondering what lies beyond this point. My journey to the west has triggered this feeling; the complement of nostalgia.

Strangely, I can hear the whispers from the other side in the chaotic and cacophony-ridden west. The beauty of a cosmopolitan.

I'm positive. The sounds are telling, like music from the Congo; Beautiful.

It's true. We live in Schrodinger's paradox.

But these sounds are telling.

Quite ironic how I peg the different states in my life against the day that you were no more.

I had been disillusioned by the various moving parts of life only to recently realize that my admiration for you was the only thing that stayed. I left, despite my plea, thinking that it would be best for both of us. I don't regret doing so, because I know that we are both benefiting from this decision.

I, however, still wonder if the future still holds something interesting for us. Friendship? Lovers? I don't know. I am tempted to check up on you, to find the individual that I once knew and loved. But for the very same reason, I still believe that it won't be best for us. I patiently wait for the moment when this won't be the case. If the stars align just right, with the Good Lord smiling on us, perhaps
we can revisit the stage we once knew.

You were a delight and sadly, our love was shortlived.