My body is the tomb in which I buried my faith,
A wraith of youth’s ideals to whom I pledge my fate.
This bitterness cries out to the city’s faded stars;
Light drowning light, drowning like an open scar.
We seek solace in the bonds we have forged from our longing,
Yet words breed more words and we are found wanting.
How may I defy Providence’s contempt?
To take death’s dance and elude all discontent.

If I could just cry right now,
You would hold me.
But I cannot cry,
So I’ll just lay here,
Back turned to empathy
To pathetic boy.

My darling, I confess to you now my infidelity.
To her, you have been and always will be secondary.
And I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.
Who else?
Who else?

The problem is, is that she gives me something
You never could, and that is an assurance
That she could never possibly
Abandon me. She will stand
By my side
Until the day I die,
And if she has her way, that day can’t come soon enough.

She is with me when I sleep,
In my dreams.
She is there when I am touching you.
She was there the very day you and I met,
Arrogantly retreating into the shadows,
Safe in the knowledge that I would let her back in
Soon.

And now
I watch you shrink like a dying star
And I know you cannot bear to see me
Continue this affair.

I feel the strength of your grip on my heart melt
Away like the ice confining my darkest desires.

My hands conspire to push you away,
While my tongue fires bullets straight through
Your crippled resolve.

I feel her cold embrace
Constrict around my vessel.
You watch on helpless, horrified,
Disgusted at my weakness.
You blame yourself, of course.
Such naivety to think I could ever need you more than her.

But no.
I’m the one who is broken.
A spoke in love’s rusting wheel.
I know this is all just in my mind,
But does that mean it isn’t real?