This cycle is addictive.
I stopped in my teens and everything that happens seems to be related to what I was struggling with at the time.
It has been years since I left but I use the pleasures to mask the feeling of failure.
I use it, I feel good, the feeling is back.
I feel deluded, desperate to write my story again.

-A.

How to become a poet:
Let someone rip your soul apart.
And in the need of mending ,
You will replace it with words.

It is frustrated to be incapable of finding the words that fit it.
My intimate reflections in a paper had never been written.
My inhuman part could show my empty face.
All I care about it may become a scandal.
So I rarely exposed myself writing atop that.

- A.

I never knew success
I heard she was quite the celebrity
I've always wanted to dance

But she never wanted any of me

I can only fantasize
About her lovely lips
I could only dream of a passionate kiss

Success and I
A warm embrace
And staring at her beautiful face

She's just a dream I love to dream
But I've never known her

And I've heard she's the best

But I've never known success
The only girl I've ever known is

              Loneliness