To me you are the worst person in the world. You abandon me at 9 years old because I had bad behaviour. (Bad behaviour from being sexually abused) I was sexually abused for years and you left me with my abuser. At the time you didn't know. But when I got to be about twenty years old I had gotten comfortable with being able to talk about it because of how many therapists I had told. But then when I built up the courage to tell you, you told me it was all my fault and the argument got so bad the cops were called. When the police arrived they were not happy with you or the situation. And started yelling at you in the kitchen. You fought with them and told them to leave.  You're are so awful and lack any sort of empathy. You left me with no food. Everyday you took my sister and didn't come home until 11:30 pm every night. I was left eating ketchup and mayonnaise sandwiches. YUM!
Now as an adult every special occasion you have to gamble. In fact you gamble almost every second day. You're poor but love money. you fantasize about living in new york. While I fantasize about having a mom I'm able to bond with and have a regular relationship. I can tell you love money more than you love me. They say the root of all evil is the love of money. And I can see how sour it is. It's put me in a place of absolutely hating money I want to be homeless because I can't stand the thought of money.
I take care of you're when you're sick. I make sure you can rest, you have good and something to entertain yourself with. I run to the store when you need anything. Then. Once you're better I start to get the sickness you passed to me and you don't allow me to rest. You will gamble just feet away from my head when I'm tired and sick trying to rest. When I get frustrated with it. You make the biggest ordeal because you're addicted to gambling and lack empathy for others. When I pass any sort of sickness on to anyone I feel terrible. I do my best to offer everything I can to help. It hurts me to say this. But I don't think you deserve to live. You lack empathy for other's and it feels I came from the womb of a psychopath.
All I can hope is that with age I don't turn out to be you.

This city never sleeps and Ivory towers were never designed for the black sheep.  The pavement and cobble roads

What if we're living inside the brain of God. And just like every war is a war within yourself. God is at war with himself. But God is ultimately good. And all the attributes we as a human species have jealously, selfishness, sadness, regret, happiness, joy, LOVE are all the attributes our God has and we are going through these emotions together all tied as one. You are looking for peace. Which means God isn't at peace. And just like a thought inside your brain is transferring one piece of information through light from one point to the next, we are the light transferring information.

Life is not the goal when it's holding someone's soul that makes you whole.

When I sit and my head dips. I reminisce and drift until there's a consciousness shift. I'm split. My lifes a cliff that's hard to grip. I've got the wits but choose the whips. I want the love but choose the pimps. Corporations who don't give two ***** about alcoholic fits. In cahoots with the boots who aren't afraid to shoot the kids not producing plantation fruits. If you want the truth it's the roots that have influenced generations of youth stupid. most of us pull through it. Like suicidal thoughts when they get intrusive.

Sheol (/ˈʃiːoʊl/ SHEE-ohl, /-əl/; Hebrew: שְׁאוֹל‎ Šəʾōl) in the Hebrew Bible, is a place of darkness to which all the dead go, both the righteous and the unrighteous, regardless of the moral choices made in life, a place of stillness and darkness cut off from life and from God.[1] The inhabitants of Sheol are the "shades" (rephaim), entities without personality or strength.

This is the truth whether you like it or not.
Your body is a temple.
Therefore. When a man and woman have ***, they are performing the ritual of conjuring a human soul into a temple.

Aliester crowley taught in his "*** magic rituals" that gay **** *** was a way to conjure demons.

Are you understanding now?
Don't shoot the messenger..
Unless that messenger is RNA...