Something within me died
If it was even born at all
I don´t know what, I´m not quite sure
But I can feel it´s loss
It´s air in a room where there was a void
It´s space where there used to be more
It´s silence where there once was a voice
It´s so dry now, it´s so cold…
Trapped between the walls of my mind
I can´t tell what is gone
It has all been the same for a while
The same people, the same thoughts
The same everything, day after day
Year on, year on…
Inside my dying heart, it will be hard to find
Nothing has been here for some time
It is withered, shriveled, cut and scarred
I locked it tight, hoping for it to die
To search my soul, it is to search what once was
A place of so much hope, so many dreams and lies
I couldn´t tell what died
So much has, I can´t tell them apart
It´s a graveyard of innocence
Where my ambitions rest dead
And by its side my happiness lays…
To search me whole, is to search nothing at all
For there is nothing to find
I feel now like I am husk
A dead man who forgot to die
So I will write my sad poems
The one thing I can do right
Change my blood for ink
Black and thick, as my being
Let paper be wrapped to my skin
An open book, for all to see
For something within me died indeed
Or something wasn’t born at all
The more I search, the more I think
That it was me all along.