Today I smiled at stranger
And they smiled back

I felt warm inside.

Some say that
People who read books
Live in a fantasy
And know nothing of the real world

But books have taught me
More than anyone ever could
They've taught me
The difference between good and evil

They've taught me
What is real and what is fake
They taught me
How to escape this world

They've taught me
That all humans aren't alike
And everybody is beautiful
In their own way.

Books have taught me
More than anyone ever could.

13 pills
5 in the morning
8 in the evening

I have to swallow them
One by one
Just to stay sane

They catch in my throat
Choke my screams on their way out

Keep my tears at bay
Before they fall

They slow the voices
In their chatter

Keeping the anxiety
From grasping and pulling at my heart
And pooling in the pit of my stomach

Or...

At least they're supposed to.

But my screams
Still stain the air

I still hear voices
Bouncing back and forth
In my skull

My heart clenches
My stomach tightens
With the anxiety that is supposed to be gone

And still I swallow
8 pills each night
5 pills each morning

13 pills each day

Whispers
Noises
Sirens
Gunshots
Cries
Shouts
Laughter
I hear all of this
In my head

Am I going insane?

Isn't it ironic,
That people who hang themselves
Struggle to breathe
When their feet no longer touches the ground
They're struggling to breathe,
To live,
When their intention,
Is just the opposite.

I wish I were dead.
I wouldn't cause any more troubles.
I wouldn't be a burden.
I wouldn't be missed.
Please take me away.
Into the darkness.
Take my life.
I don't care anymore.
Everything would be so much easier.
It's better this way.
Oh, how I wish I were dead.