I hate that my pain
Is so easy for you to dig
Your hands into
I hate that I write poetry
To spread as much good
As hurt you've given me
I hate that you can preach
About forgiveness
When you know more
About my body
Than Christianity
I hate that my life
Will always be a reoccurring nightmare
I hate that I cannot silence you
Because you are still
The blood inside my mouth

"Its a long story."
A story that is only his and mine
Unspoken under covers,
Hiding under the lid
Of an empty bottles of pills.

"He didn't mean to",
A mantra I don't trust
But remind myself
When my eyes are closed.
He is mine, and I am his.
He tells me I am important to him,
That I mean something
So when he tells me,
Voice trembling over the phone,
"It didn't happen,"
I stay on the line.

Dear depression
Stop being the serpent to my Eve. Stop convincing me that it's better on the other side. Stop telling me there is no other side. Just **** Me or Leave Me Alone
Dear anxiety
they keep telling me they care, please don't ruin that for me. Please don't remind me of all the problems in my life if you're not going to help me fix them. Please, help me fix them.
Dear Mom
I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be. But Mom, I don't think I ever was.
Dear Dad
‎ You're not supposed to be in here but I guess the fact that I still have to write about you means you're important and that scares me
‎Dear Brother
  I love you
Dear Mirror
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking you and I know you're not really broken but I feel like you're broken on the inside just like me
Dear Best friend
I wish you weren't in here. I wish you never came into my life. I wish I never dragged you in.
Dear Best friend
I'm so sorry for leaving you
Dear bedroom
Thank you for staying through all the bad times. But I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want you to be around my aching body, my broken soul. Because you just watched. The walls didn't close in to hug me when I cried and they didn't close in to help when I was hurting. You're just like everyone else.
‎Dear "I'm fine"
‎ We have a toxic relationship that should've ended years ago.
Dear Soul
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry that this is going to hurt you. I'm really sorry I can't fix things. I mean "I'm sorry" wouldn't really exist if these were things we could undo. I tried. I'm trying to stay here for you. I'm so sorry I existed in the first place because if I didn't I wouldn't make a difference. I'm sorry our Infinity isn't that long. I'm sorry but I've gone searching for what's beyond.
Dear Love
You have so much in store for you. Don't let them push you around. You are so beautiful. You are everything, everything!!!
Dear Body
You're the most beautiful cage I've ever seen, and the only cage I've ever had. But I think I'm ready to leave. Please let me. Don't make me stay.
Dear World
Why couldn't you listen when I said I was hurting. I told you I was sick.
Dear Pills, Gun, Blood, Drugs
Please make it fast