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 Oct 2019 abigail ward
hgrbc
tears
 Oct 2019 abigail ward
hgrbc
i remember she used to always tell me, it's okay to cry.
she gave me that look that said everything. as if she was silently telling me than it was okay to not be okay, to be broken, to be absolutely destroyed.
i'll always remember that side hug and proud look. the hand squeeze and happy tone in her voice when she boasted about me.
i'll remember everything now that you're gone.
 Mar 2018 abigail ward
Jen
four
 Mar 2018 abigail ward
Jen
I stood on the beach
watching the high tide waves mercilessly crashing into the boardwalk.
I wondered how long the wooden polls would sustain such violence.
The waves made me think of you

--- you never did realize what you were capable of ---
I’ve trained myself to suppress my hunger
My stomach has learned to be empty
Kept telling myself that I look younger
I needed to not let people forget me

So I said no to school lunches at 12
I didn’t want dinner to be too big
Which consisted of chips from my pantry shelves
yet my eyes would lie and call me a pig

4 years of one meal a day
Maybe some coffee in the morning
Which wasn’t easy, by the way,
Until finally my eyes were no longer scoring

4 years of hunger and insufficiency
And I’m still not strong enough to get over you
Sure, I can stand despite iron deficiency
But giving you up is something I can’t go through
I’ve trained myself to suppress my hunger
I’ll train myself to keep my heart from racing
And now that we’re not a year younger
Saying goodbye’s the only time we’ll be embracing
 Jan 2018 abigail ward
spacesoup
Dying
is like sleeping,
with no more dreams
to rush inside
and shake you up,
night after night.
And all those
memories you stored
in archive shelves
of blood and bone
will be by then
forever lost.
P r e t t y   p e o p l e
W i t h   p r e t t y   w o r d s
B u t   t h e y   a r e   u g l y
T h e i r   s p e e c h   i s   s l u r r e d

They never show
Their real emotion
While people watch
Their every motion

Everything they have
Is fake
If they'd notice
They would break

They're living in
A fake reality
They need to wake up
To actuality

We always talk
Behind their backs
If they knew
They would crack

They think we love them
They think they're pretty
But they really don't
Deserve our pity

P r e t t y   p e o p l e
W i t h   p r e t t y   w o r d s
B u t   t h e y   a r e   u g l y
T h e i r   s p e e c h   i s   s l u r r e d
Just so you know, I wrote a follow up to this poem that shows another aspect of pretty people. Thanks for reading :)
 Nov 2017 abigail ward
Bella
Scared
 Nov 2017 abigail ward
Bella
Hold my hand
sit near me
let me sink into your lap
just please don't leave me alone with my thoughts
or lack thereof

You see,
if you leave.
my head will not scatter into a million deadly shards
it will do quite the opposite
it will collapse

whatever you do, don't leave me,
not now.
you see if you leave
I lose my sanity
I lose my restraint

the second you turn your head and walk out that door
my eyes will well
my heart  will lose its rhythm
My hands  will shake
and my breath won't be able to claw its way up my throat anymore.

You don't have to say anything
you don't have to do anything
just please don't leave
I'm scared of what happens when you leave --
please don't leave...

— The End —