i know i am an abomination
i know you wish i were never born
i know that my existence defines your ruin
well guess what?
me.
f**king.
too.
i do not wish to be here.
i never asked for this.
and yet,
i love you endlessly.
and i always will
for i do not know anything else.

i do not know a world where i have not loved you and you have not hurt me

i was all but 7,
the first time i hated the number i saw on the scale.
u fed that to me.
and 7 year old me,
all she wanted was to become the version of herself that was worthy of your love.
i know that i am not worthy of your love.
i know.
and i'm sorry..

the bird takes flight
into a starless night

into the long, lonely why
of endless sky.

trapped bird must fly
or surely she will die

I felt like nothing was changing
Day after day
Of school
Sadness
Anxiety

Then I look up at the clouds
I looked at them for a while
And I saw that they were moving

Please
Take me with you
At least for a ride..

The words are bleeding out of me
I just feel so bad
All of these feelings bubbling up and boiling
I want to throw them in their faces
So they can burn
All the people who made the world so bad
I know it's a lot of them
But so be it
I don't care
My million feelings taking over
Why is the world so bad?

I am so mad
And I know anger is other emotions wearing a mask
So here are they:
Sad
Hopeless
Depressed
Frustrated
Scared
And more that don't even have words
Mostly them

In the pursuit of happiness
I found you,  but somewhere I lost me
You set my heart on fire
You set my dreams free
I loved our little chatter
I loved your every little thing
But now that I look back
It all just leaves a sting

I never realized when you drifted apart
I still kept holding onto the string
You crushed my little heart
And all I could do was sing

Sang the songs of my pain  
Sang the songs of my screams
I never knew it was all in vain
It was all just a broken dream

I want to hug my younger self
And I also know I will when I'm older
So I hug myself now
And say it's from the future

I want a kind person to see me struggling
Not by me showing them
But by simply observing
And care
And ask if they can help
Sometimes they can
And sometimes they can't
But that itself
Is enough for my heart