thank god i can’t write good poetry
the best poetry comes from pain and hurt if you ask me
so although i can’t write like i used to
at least it means i’m doing alright

I used to wish that I would forget all about him.

How one morning I’d wake up and I wouldn’t even remember his name.

But I feared the thought of my disdain,
Sadness and and resentment of him resenating like a stain on a shirt that won’t go away but you can’t remember what caused it.

I thought that would be worse than just remembering everything and just choosing to move on.

I turn 20 in a couple days...
I remember hearing about what you did to my mom when she was 20.
How you took advantage,
How you decided her future for her.
She was probably so hopeful and full of life...
Then you came in and knocked her up.
Told her she wasn’t worth it.
Promised her that you would treat the baby as horrible as you treated her.
You claimed she and I ruined your life.
You were “so young”.
She was only 20.
If anything you ruined her life.
With me,
With the memory of you.
If you look at me, would you have justified what you did to her at only 20 years old?

Somethings are better after.
You go somewhere and you find that your soul can be free.
You see new things that shape your views.
You meet people you can’t imagine living without.
And the people you thought you couldn’t live without seem to fade a little.
But maybe that’s not a bad thing.
Because when you come back and it all brings tears to your eyes.
You know that you will never be the same.
And that is definitely not a bad thing.