I’ve prayed for him to come back,
But coming back wasn’t part of the plan.
I’ve prayed for the cancer to go away,
But the cancer’s plan is to stay.
I’ve prayed for some understanding,
But was too confused to see the point.
I don’t know why things happen
But they do.
I’ve prayed for you to hear me,
But you covered your ears to ignore me.
I don’t have a clue about what is going on,
But I know that there is a plan.  
So I’ll sit tight with my legs crossed,
Maybe someday all these things,
Will have to mean something?

In the days when she felt lonely
When she didn’t see the point.
She was reminded to look up at the sun
So the light would hurt her eyes.
And she would remember that she was alive.
The pain was there for a reason.
That’s what kept her going.

"Remember?" She said.

"When you were that small?" As she holds up a photo of you dressed like a fairy for Halloween at 4 years old.

You nod and smile but you don't remember a thing about that night.

The things you remember are not like that.

You remember nightmares you thought were real that wouldn't allow you to sleep without a nightlight to keep the monsters out of your room at night.

You start to remember the way he touched you telling you its a special way that he loves you.

You remember bathing next to your baby sister and not getting a second bath when she peed, or worse in the tub because your parents couldn't afford that much for water.

You remember going on three-hour walks with your anorexic mom who was fading away into skin stretched around bone.

You remember promising yourself that you never want to be that thin.

You remember breaking that promise the first time you threw up that meal.

You remember breaking, and how you are breaking again and again.