She knew she lost a king
When all she had around her
were slaves acting like kings
Loving her body instead of her soul
Spoiling her with money and material things
instead of dressing her finger with Gold
Force feeding her fantasy
instead of creating a better reality
Her heart in pieces
she left them all to go love herself again
In loving herself she found herself a king
Willing to take her in
Wounded and destroyed
He vowed to make sure she never cried again

The devil lied
when he told your heart
that it will never find love again
You found me and now you are my everything

Her heart was starving for love
so she feasted on his lies
She couldn’t realize
That his eyes
Were built to tell lies
With her heart full
She became her lovers fool
He played her like a fiddle
While she tried to understand him like an unsolvable riddle
Complicated, and uninvested he was
She fought to keep him while being devastated
He demoralized her worth until she got infected with a universal disease called insecurity
Hating to love him,
while struggling to leave him
loving him openly, while secretly dying slowly

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m afraid of not living while I am alive
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s a slow suicide
As death welcomes me into its cold arms
Comforting me with doubt, while forcing me to reject faith, ignore hope, and embrace fear
Shed a million tears
open old scars and feast on regret  

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of giving up on my future  
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s emotional torture,
as I watch my heart get eaten by vultures
Serenading my past and giving it meaning like I don’t have a future, it abuses me by feeding me stress, anxiety and depression like my past needs me to impress it
I’m just trying to move past it
It has a hold on me, it’s taking control of me

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of ignoring love while it shoots me with Cupid’s arrow
As I feast on my ego and drown in my sorrow  
Lover after lover I reject like I don’t know
Searching for that idol
while I worship my insecurities
The closer they get the further I ran
Because I can’t let them see the worst of me
I never loved me
how can I let a stranger in
When I am not comfortable within

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m just afraid on living without a purpose
Loving without a purpose
Caring without a purpose
Trying without a purpose

I just want to live a life with a purpose!!!!

They laughed at the caterpillar
Now they admire the butterfly

Their laughter became their sorrow
Pain and agony, they now swallow
While choking on their own egos

Success and Beauty takes time
laugh now cry later
Cry now laugh later
The story is yours to tell
Like tall tales
All fails if pain doesn’t exist in the mist