An old man sits in an even older rocking chair.
His skin was midnight, as was his hair once upon a time
When it had adorned his head
Within its very curl was a diamond, a ruby,
Like the crown of the richest king

But now the only thing that curled
Was his back
Hunched in that old chair
You couldn’t tell by looking at it
But it was once a strong body

Yes, the old man was young once
He was strong,
He was beautiful
He was proud
As he should be

But he was too strong
His exterior was that of ice and steel
Not the fieriest touch
Nor the most jagged of cries
Could penetrate

And he was too beautiful
His boisterous laugh, his perfect smile
Most found loud
Obtuse
And blinding

His greatest sin was his pride
He thought himself a mountain
Indomitable
But when the valley burned
All he could do was watch

The old man sits in the even older rocking chair
Weak, ugly, and disgraced
He once dared to think
God was proud to have made this body
He wondered what He thought of him now

Trembling, always with this **** trembling
Quivering, not only my hands as I grip my weapon
Which is very low on ammunition-wasted too many good shots
No
But my heart quivers
Almost as quickly as my mind races
Where are the friendlies
I can't find my side
The enemy is everywhere
All sides consuming
Surely they must be around her somewhere
Here, near, far, this way, that way
Anywhere, anybody
Nobody
And ****, this trembling
This racing of thoughts
As eratic as my movements
No time, no space
No error
Plenty of everything else
A bullet flies
An insult spat
Missing me by only a hair
A breathe, a quiver
My quivering
****** stop shaking
You'll live, I make no promises
Promise, promises
This person once said
But what did they say, what did they say
He said...irrelevant things
I never cared for anything he said anyway
And she didn't help much either
They never did
But did they ever?
Explosions, explosions
Jump, dodge weave
Bleed, scream, die
They aren't falling
I wish I could fall
Over there, in the distance
Friendly fire
No, yes, of course never
Why do I even bother
Keep standing
Run, compliance is futile
And for goodness sake, stop trembling!

In your quest for a better tomorrow
You left your treasure in yesterday

And it seemed the closer you came to ending your sorrow
The farther you seemed to have drifted away

The strongest heart was quaking
I couldn't believe what I saw

The tears left my body shaking
As the misery tore you apart

It pains me to see you like this
The warmest heart so broken

But I'm here to pull you out of your abyss
My arms are always open

And here we stand, with our wide and goofy smiles
Others think that we are stupid, cracked, a mess

But we can see our future for a thousand miles
As we search for our lost happiness

Why do we like being miserable
Do we enjoy being unhappy
Are we all just perfectly content
To drown in sea of self-pity

Why are we so sad all the time
Why can't we seem to get our minds off the negative
All this pessimism, anger, and depression
Can't we see it's rotting us from the inside

Every once in a while, we should let go of all our burdens
Even if for just a moment, we should forget what made us sad
No more tears, no more heartbreak
But more laughter, more having fun

For once, can we stop torturing ourselves
Just stop worrying about everything
And let the song of our hearts
Sing a merry tune for once

You were my friend
You made me laugh
You made me smile
You made me feel special
Like every day is a good day
As long as I'm with you

I began feeling things for you
Things that, looking back on them
I probably shouldn't have felt
I felt that we could be together
That you would fall for me
And we would be together

I thought we would make an awesome couple
A simple relationship, filled with happiness and love
But then I saw you with her
I saw how you so were mesmerized with her
And how you had that goofy grin on your face
That look of a boy hopelessly in love

At first, I was crushed
I felt betrayed
How could you do this to me
How could you! How could you!
I thought you loved me

I was devastated
I was heart broken
But as my wounds began to heal
As I began to think about it
Reviewing everything in my head
I came to a conclusion

I love you
And I hate that you love her
But at the end of the day
Your still my friend
And I care about you
All I want is for you to be happy

And even though the thought of you
Being with someone else
Is painful
As long as you can smile
As long as you are happy
It may sting a little, but it'll be alright with me

I still don't like that girl.
But as long as you're happy...

Now life has pushed me to my knees
And pressed my face into the dirt
I hear your screaming in my ear
I feel your sadness in my chest
It's hard to hold back all these tears
When I know that you are in despair
And after all I've done to protect you
It seems all I've done
is let you down

Again and again I continue to fail you
Again and again I have proven myself
To be no more than a scared, foolish child
Why is it that every time I try to do right
I end up doing something wrong
I made a promise to you
That no matter what I'd be there
Now I see it would be better if I just left
And never came back

To want something
So badly
And having it so
close
You can taste it on your lips
Its warmth radiating
on your arms
But to be so afraid
Of reaching out
And embracing it
To be so terrified
Of getting too close
Fear of it running
away
That you didn't
reach for it
And now it's gone
And it's never coming back
You miss it so badly
you wish you could
turn back time
And go back to when
it was so close
Only an arms distance
You make up memories
Of what could have been
And wishing so badly
That it had really happened
The pain is unbearable
It keeps you up at night
It invades all your thoughts
It takes the joy out of your life
Everywhere you go
You wish they were there
Everyone you meet
You wish it was them
You love them so much
You hate that it hurts
You wish they were with you
And it kills you
To be apart
You keep telling yourself
That your over it
That you've moved on
That it wouldn't have worked out
The lies you tell yourself
Hoping that if you
say it enough
Eventually you'll believe it
And the torment
The pain
The sadness
Would finally end
But what hurts the most
What really makes you angry
What truly makes you
die inside
What makes you want to crawl
Into a corner
And cry your heart out
What makes all this pain
So intolerable
Is that had you only reached out
Had you only embraced it
Had you not been so afraid
Then maybe
Just maybe
It would be with you
Right Now
That's a bitter pill to swallow.