because im happy i dropped my insecurities
because im happy i love everybody
because im happy im full of energy
because im happy i lost my fear
because im happy im free
because im happy i dont care
because im happy im aware

In your eyes i see life
One that I want for myself
Your internal light shines bright
While my soul screams for help
I wish to share a life of pure love and happiness
Yet I give off confusion and crabbiness
I pray for the day this rutt will be over
Or at least the pace of pain could move a bit slower
My smile will soon be pasted across my face
Even wider on the day my face is covered with lace
I pray that the time I stretch out my hand
For an intimate ceremony in a far away land
My mind will be right
And my heart would be still
Because you still stop it
An involuntary ****
I may not see clear
But i know this is right
I'm trying to fight my fear
And live for tonight
There are things in the world that are out of my hands
But we can achieve our
objectives/goals/or plans
It's gonna be you and I till the end
I just need to figure out how to begin
To start with a new and improved me
To show off the person I should be
No more sad, somber, and excusable me
It's time for real business
It's time to be the best I can be

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

It's empty & dark.
Hollow & cold.
I can hear the echoes of your silence, deafening my soul.
Faded memories swooning their way back into my desolate mind
No glimpse of shine
No gold, no greener grass
Just FEAR.
What am I scared of you ask?
LOVE.
The one thing that can free me from this burden I carry.
Yet, how do I do that when in fact LOVE is what put me here.
The love I longed for as I grew from the concrete.
Or maybe it's the LOVE I took for granted because I never felt that complete.
No wait...
There's more, LOVE galore.
Last but not least, as my hand rests upon my heart.
She came. She conquered. She made KARMA an art.
& then beyond that she stuck & she stirred.
Lines blurred. Plans cured. I still gave her my word.
But then that's when I said enough is enough.
It was a rough road & thank goodness I'm tough!
You know that love I thought could never be found?
I found it!
Somewhere within my being,
way in there..
Deep down.