so many pieces I’ve left behind
its hard to see the whole
  this ache is held in other hands
    you know how I feel

find me under the willow tree
the moon sleeps low in the sky
call to my heart through tears
which flow, dancing down a white river

forget me under the brazen sun
the air breathes out cloudy thoughts
silencing the birds who cry
the flying arrow the sound of a new life

I love you
And you
And you

Find me in
the place where we began
Swirling
Breathing
In
Out

I’ll be waiting

I don’t know

Blue eyes
And sadness
Go hand in hand
She tells herself
No one will love
No one will stay
No one will ask if she’s okay
And the truth is
She isn’t
She views the world upside down
Where everyone walks above her
No one can see the cuts and the broken heart
And she drags herself down down down
Even though I’m right here
I can see the blood and the tears
But she never looks up anymore
So she never sees me watching

You told me you love me
You only want to protect me
But you don’t know
There’s nothing left of me

Let me kiss your
Lips
I breathe you in
Exhale
Euphoria floods my
Fingertips

I think I found my soulmate
A long time ago
But I hurt her
And now we’re lost
Still connected by an invisible thread
Tangled and taunt
We walk away from
Each other
But really I still feel her
And I know
She feels me too

I’m lonely for you
Her
Someone
Anyone

there is a deep dark sadness
Inside of me

It is woven through my nerves
Flowing through my veins
Pulsing pounding blood in my heart

It never leaves
And I don’t think
I could live
Without it

I see you in the cracks of a sidewalk
Fighting to live and breathe
In a world of concrete

I see you in my car window
Half way down on the interstate
Blowing whooshing into my lungs

I see you in my reflection
Staring through eyes
That I don’t recognize anymore

when I was younger I remember
The feeling that I needed to cease existing
I would hide in the alcove of my sisters room
And hold my breathe as long as I could

I never write anymore
But I call myself an artist
We never talk anymore
But all my thoughts are about you
And the poems too.

when I met you
I was climbing up to see what I could see
There were trees all around me so I
Had to follow the sun streaming through
I got to the top and I found there was nothing there I wanted
So I started back down and on the way
I tripped and fell into you
Again
Now I’m falling

i dont want to wakeup
anymore
please just let me
sleep

dissolve disintegrate decay

i dont want to see the stars anymore
i just want to see the backs of my eyes
i just want to see the black eternal night

i love you and im sorry
but this is
goodbye

we were
powerful dangerous limitless
kids .

never content
eager wild electric  
hearts .

taking trips to
escape disappear melt
away.

**** the world
**** the warning signs

we were the kids who discovered
bliss

going away
to a place where
no one is home
sit on the windowsill
thinking about
times long ago
chains on my hands and feet
never free never happy
stuck in this prison of existence

I’m so lost in this melted wax
Dripping down the sides of me burning me
Hurting me
You hurt me
But I still ******* love you
Maybe one day I’ll find a reason to live
A way to understand the butterflies of life
All I know is in the end I hope I fly far away
To a place where happiness exists
Amen

veins underneath your skin
dark purple life spidering out to the edges
soft green borders that meet perfectly
to form a teardrop
pink and yellow blooms across your face

hello friend

im dreaming of you
i wonder if
you're thinking of me too
i meant it when i said
im sorry
and i meant it when i said
i love you
you're always there but
you're afraid of me
i wish you could see
the change in me

maybe in another life
i'll see your eyes
and we can try again

there are a thousand billion stars in the sky tonight
but the only one I see is you

i wonder if
you ever think of me
kissing you
and wake up to reality
to remember
it was just a
dream

baby
i can't do this anymore
i love you but
i have to go

everyday i fade
a little more
until
one day
im completely gone

hello friend
I am here to tell you
this is the sign you were looking for
I love you even if he doesn't
and I want you to know
everything will be okay eventually
please keep going
you got this

i'm not so sad anymore
but the pain is still there
kinda feels like there's water in my lungs

I watch the headlights go by and think about nights
a long time ago

took too many trips so now whole world spins


feels weird to say goodbye to the only life i've ever known
lay my youth down to rest along with the pills

left the spray paint in the back of my car and drove off a cliff

went to the ocean for a few days and never really came back
left a piece of my heart to drown

can't see the stars out of this window, still hoping I can get a wish soon

find a home in a strange place
never speak above a whisper so no one can find me

wish I could say you loved me but i'm not so sure these days

memories taste like newports

pollute my head, stuck in a haze, rainy days are never enough

once you know demons are real you can't stop seeing them

wish she'd leave me alone
just wanna be me

landon cube on the stereo got my head in the clouds
thinkin about her eyes wish I never fell in love with Judas

got a glass heart but I still haven't glued it back together cause
I lost a couple shards along the way

diet coke dreams still haunt me

you again
never thought i'd hear
that laugh
i hate you
but
i dont
you again
come **** up my life
lock me up
leave me to bleed
you know ill still be here

cigarettes and roses
flick your ash into my eye
burn away the pain
of never seeing you again

you left
when the blood was flowing
out of my neck

the wound
oozing pain and anguish
festered, pus and oil

it scabbed over
but the infection still raged
war against my heart

you're the poison in my bloodstream
and one day day my heart just might
stop

time goes by like
water flowing over my skin
unstoppable, translucent
and all at once
no beginning or end for
the clouds of
laughter and tears
you can't hold it still
it escapes even
the bell jar
forever running yet
never will you see it
rush by your eyes
i know now
never trust a clock
or a soul

you were
the most beautiful
red rose
i couldn't resist
picking you
and leaving
you to
die

I lost you in
color

But my world is
Black and white

Now I Can’t find
The ground
In this endless sky
It’s beautiful but
I’m drifting
Into the sun

And maybe that’s what was meant to be all along

its raining in my heart
I sit and let the drops of you
drip drip drop down
into my soul
fill me with your sadness
show me your pain
I wanna feel alive
I'm so sorry baby
for everything

I lay in bed and think about you
the highs the lows the blues
and I guess you just can't see
there's an ache in my chest where you used to be

I met you and it was like
two stars colliding
beautiful but dangerous
you melted into my core and we
dissolved
into something new

it only lasted for a minute
and before I could love what we had become
our light winked twice and faded into black

but i swear that minute with you was a whole lifetime

you were
my nicotine
I inhaled you
deep into my lungs
you filled me up
and I felt whole

but when I exhaled
you left me
all alone
I'm sorry
but I couldn't hold my breath forever

my life was
one of the many
candles
in a witch's lair
you snuffed out my steady flame
I am grey and quickly fading
drifting away even in still air
only a whisper of what I used to be

half a white moon
take me
up up up
way into the sky
and while the view was nice
the darkness couldn't hide
and when i fell
down down down
I realized I wanted to see it again
a whole moon of magic
makes me see the backs of my eyes
heaven- was it near to me?
many moons make me
throw
up up up
help help help
I am falling too fast

a red joker in the window
a black one too!
life is a laugh
but at night the white walls bleed
when the circus came to town
the clown killed the curly-haired boy
but left the slutty girl stranded
he shut the door in her face
but what he didn't know
is that locked doors don't stop demons

california eyes
I love the color blue

bring me the horizon
and i'll bring you the moon

wilted flowers laugh
when I cry about you

i'm sorry for the scars
but you know I have them too

when I look at sunsets I think about you
I wish there was something I could do

here's my heart and a red rose turned blue

purple sky sunset
ride the waves of nostalgia
to the beach
ripped jeans and broken hearts
she used to smile at me on cloudy days
i'm running out of time to die young

so many pieces
i've left behind
it's hard to see the whole
this ache is held in other hands
you know how I feel
Im sick Im transparent
slipping into the void

tell me the most lovely sky
is over my head tonight

never tell me
those bats and blue badges
have the right to judge
you say
his tattoos
his hair
his what?
skin
look around
we're tired of the
same old story
white cop black man
we can't ******* breathe
how much is a black man's soul worth?
he's twenty years old but
he's a drug addict
he's a gang member
he's black
look me in the eye
tell me it wouldn't be different if he was white
"he's so young he's only 20"
"he got caught up with the wrong people"
might as well say "he's white"

purple sky sunset
color me blue
hold me underwater
until my thoughts drown
leave me to decompose
snail shells for eyes

give me knife
i'll give you the color red

I used to miss your eyes
now i just miss my hands around your throat
don't give me forever
just one breath is all I need

so much love contained
within sad chocolate eyes
you never told anyone my secrets
you never left my side

happiness is two long floppy ears

i could have never asked
for a better best friend

or one with larger paws

I miss you in the yard
I miss the frenzied greetings
I miss tipped- over trash cans

but most of all

I will miss loving you
Lola
it was your sad face that made me so happy

running in circles

in this

purple sky sunset

she's the only one

to bring me out of the blue

feel the air getting thin

flies on my open eyes

same old songs

new cracks in the foundation

the whole family's in the living room

watching static on the tv

it's this snow globe I live in

shake up my world

it'll all come back to me eventually

behind my friends bathroom mirror
is a helping hand

A blue pill a white pill in two orange bottles

whisper

“we will help
we will bring you closer to

the clouds

let us shut your eyelids
forever

you don’t have to wakeup anymore”


how do I say no to bliss?
let me decompose


I’m ready to be with the stars

loving him was a new beginning
the happiness i longed for
the love i had always wanted
the highs i had never reached

losing touch with reality is bliss
but the sky slowly cracks with every
second you leave this earth

loving him taught me
how not to feel
and for a flicker of time in all of eternity

i thought i knew it all

but now my sky has fallen
waves of murky blue rage violently around me
and i reminise to when

i pretended the cracks weren't there
now i float on an endless sea

there are no cracks anymore
there is only nothing and me

there is a magical man
who lives down the street
he has many names
and it would be rather unjust to refer to him by only one

somedays he sits in my brain and rearranges
it feels good to have my file cabinets emptied every
once in awhile

after he sits outside my window and watches and waits
for an invitation back in

the most peculiar thing is his appearance
he is lovely,
eyes of the darkest dead star
perfect white teeth behind blue lips

i couldn't help but wonder
what would become of a conversation with him
so i invited him to tea

since that day
we have come to know each other very well
his eyes are darker than they were before

probably because my light that shone upon them is dwindling
i am running out of time
i apologize, but it is time to see him again
and now my mind and i must go

dusty white bars rule my life
i am a simple peasant
who was destined
to be a great and beautiful queen
to touch a rose bud and watch it bloom into
a red found only in the purest of hearts

a few months ago i saw some of my blood
oozing out of the imperfect forearm of a fallen royal

harsh lines of magical evil
talk to me as the days melt away
the screams are so loud now that

i live in the void
here there is nothing

i once had a crown
waiting for me
a glimpse of otherworldy sunshine

but tonight the sky is black
i am starting to think my blood is too
soon i will peel back my skin and see

white sticky substance
that takes you so high up

you can see everything from above
except how far you'll fall