I hope he dreams of me tonight
because recently, he's the only
one that's been in mine.

The feeling in my chest
My trust in myself
My ambition
My pride
My desire to survive

you'll have to try harder than that
to shatter my will.
no words can ever be spoken
that will do more damage
than what you have already broken.

I'll hurt myself
before you get
the chance.

You hated that
I was such a pessimist.
I complained when
nothing was wrong.

Every time
I opened my heart
to burden you with
my worries, you
sighed with
exasperation.
Your eyes filled
with deep frustration.
Your uncaring words
said with scathing
resolution.

You told me you didn't want to be
with someone who made you feel
like when their sky was falling,
you had to be my Atlas.

Now, I swallow every word.

I know that every
word of worry,
every tear filled eye
will send us closer to
our doom.

Lying to you while
I'm lying in bed,
nightmare scenarios
dance in my head,
I realize loving you
is not enough,
and while you are
sleeping, dreaming
of a life without me,
I am screaming,
and falling,
blood on my knees.
I hurt you. I hurt you.
I didn't know when to
Stop.

When you slipped
away from me, I
had to hide my
fear.

But I knew, deep down,
the end was near.

It’s been years since
your lips last touched mine.
Since then, we’ve both housed
our tongues in a myriad of places.
So why did I dream of you last night -
or rather wake up panicked and afraid
from the thought of you with another.
You were never mine to begin with,
yet the immense relief that
overwhelmed my senses
when I realized that the
nightmare wasn’t real is
frightening.

Because it means that my heart
is still with you somehow.
It shouldn’t be.

You don't have to be perfect.
Not every second needs to be measured.
You don't need to know everything
do everything
be everything
for anyone.

You just need to show up
everyday
and show the world
what you're made of.