It didn't feel wrong.
Touching you felt like
touching God.
I didn't know something could be so
beautiful and delicate yet
so strong and fierce.
The second I realized this,
I should've stopped
but I couldn't.
Your eyes were closed, you fingers were
rubbing my knee
and I could just tell that
you loved every bit of what was happening.
When I found the spot you loved so much
I needed to keep going.
You would've let me,
but it was the wrong place for
something so beautiful to happen.

Who knew that someone could make me
lose all sense of right and wrong?

All I want is to give you what you deserve and so much more.
Is that something you want?

If I pinned you against the wall
and slipped my tongue
into places unknown
would you let me
discover your
truths?

I always ask myself questions:
am I good enough?
do I really have potential?
does anyone actually care?
why do I feel so displaced?
It's upsetting; knowing that I'll probably never have the answers I'm looking for.
But, I guess it's meant to be that way.
Whether or not it's for better or worse, I'll never find out.
These questions I have are the offspring of my doubt.
I'm trying my best to keep these feelings of disappointment and stress at bay.
But every time I try to speak; I find myself searching for the words to say.

These words I speak,
you don't understand.
This feeling I'm feeling,
you can't comprehend.
The sadness in my eyes,
that twinkle of sorrow.
My past is calling,
can I make it til tomorrow?
I want you to know me,
my abstract vision
The tingles I got,
from your appreciation.
The energy I felt when I was not in arms reach,
magnetized me, mesmerized me
I struggle to hold the connection.
Is it me that's losing steam... not so easy and free?
I want more, I need more.
An addict I am, for everything, for life itself.
There are times I have nothing,
Can I **** a little of yours to revive myself?

I'm empty
but filling slowly up
with self hate
why would anyone love me
when I don't love myself
I don't respect myself
I don't even see anything of me to respect
my stomach isn't flat
my thighs rub together
and my arms are disgusting
my sides are lumpy
and I'm short
                                                  I gag at myself in the mirror
how could I be so disgusting
no wonder no one wants me
no wonder I lay alone every night
the only presence I have is death
because it looms like possibilities

I want someone to want me
to say it's okay that you don't
like yourself, because I love
everything about you
I want someone to help
I need help
help convincing myself
I'm worth living
I'm worth trying

this counselling **** does nothing
******* prove to me I'm worth something
and not just a hole in the groud
tell me I'm beautiful
even though I won't believe it
I'll believe the look in your eyes

someone
help me
someone
love me