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they taught us to fear
without learning to fear us
we're reaping the whirlwind
they've sown between us
one day they'll realise
they didn't defeat us
we are on the inside
their malignant fetus
My heart’s a ball of icicles
In shackles
Of manacles
it's nestled behind an "impenetrable"rib cage.
it can barely "breathe"
Ever wondered why
Sound’s only intense
In its absolute absence
One's senses are stretched taut
just on the edge of snapping.
'Draw three cards, and I will tell your future . . .
Draw three cards, and lay them down,
Rest your palms upon them, stare at the crystal,
And think of time . . . My father was a clown,
My mother was a gypsy out of Egypt;
And she was gotten with child in a strange way;
And I was born in a cold eclipse of the moon,
With the future in my eyes as clear as day.'

I sit before the gold-embroidered curtain
And think her face is like a wrinkled desert.
The crystal burns in lamplight beneath my eyes.
A dragon slowly coils on the scaly curtain.
Upon a scarlet cloth a white skull lies.

'Your hand is on the hand that holds three lilies.
You will live long, love many times.
I see a dark girl here who once betrayed you.
I see a shadow of secret crimes.

'There was a man who came intent to **** you,
And hid behind a door and waited for you;
There was a woman who smiled at you and lied.
There was a golden girl who loved you, begged you,
Crawled after you, and died.

'There is a ghost of ****** in your blood--
Coming or past, I know not which.
And here is danger--a woman with sea-green eyes,
And white-skinned as a witch . . .'

The words hiss into me, like raindrops falling
On sleepy fire . . . She smiles a meaning smile.
Suspicion eats my brain; I ask a question;
Something is creeping at me, something vile;

And suddenly on the wall behind her head
I see a monstrous shadow strike and spread,
The lamp puffs out, a great blow crashes down.
I plunge through the curtain, run through dark to the street,
And hear swift steps retreat . . .

The shades are drawn, the door is locked behind me.
Behind the door I hear a hammer sounding.
I walk in a cloud of wonder; I am glad.
I mingle among the crowds; my heart is pounding;
You do not guess the adventure I have had! . . .

Yet you, too, all have had your dark adventures,
Your sudden adventures, or strange, or sweet . . .
My peril goes out from me, is blown among you.
We loiter, dreaming together, along the street.
The last words I plan to write
before the darkness, of endless night,
will be just these, short and few,
I'm sorry for what, I did to you.
To the person who broke my heart,
you don't know this yet but you've tarnished every relationship from here on out.
every fragment of my body,
every will to live
I'll still be in love with you.
No one could even compete.
It won't be fair to them but it's not fair to me to not let you go...
 May 2017 T R Wingfield
ryn
Sobriety
 May 2017 T R Wingfield
ryn
Today is knowing
that the night before
was only a feeble attempt
to delude myself
into thinking
that the world spins around
me and my ideals.

Today I know better.
Today I am sober.
 May 2017 T R Wingfield
ryn
Endearing is the quest
to sing of the morning sun,
when you know only the words to the song
of night.

Absurd is the notion
that you could saunter across the lake...
Just to touch the moon when it is only a mere reflection.

Foolhardy is the assumption,
that your words could matter enough
to outweigh the consensus of most.
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