Oh Time,
My scorned lover,
When you gave yourself to me,
I turned away,
And now, 
When I need you most,
Like a cold reminder,
I’m left with nothing.

I am angry,
I am happy,
I am WANT,
I am NEED,
Now,
Right now,
I SAID NOW!

How long will your thinking,
Your filtering,
Your self-suppression,
Your do’s and re-do’s
Your doubt,
How long do you think they can keep me here?

Caged,
Behind a veil of past regret and future fears,
And these heavy curtains of rationality,
Do you think they hide me well?
I’m loud,
Louder than you think,
Louder than you hope.
LOUDER than you KNOW.

They,
The tourists, and the heroes,
The monsters and the saints,
The ones I stare at all day behind your eyes,
Behind these precious glass doors,
Do you think they’re deaf to me?
If so,
Then your heart is still young,
Or drunk,
Or no longer worthy of the name;
A dead *****,
No,
Meat,
Rotten meat,
An impostor,
No longer of yourself,
Yet you keep it still,
Beating out of sync.

I’m older,
Much older than thought,
Much stronger than hope,
And patience;
Oh she knows me well,
A sibling,
Nay, lover,
Of the same blood,
Of the same THIRST,
She dares not to look into my eyes,
For fear of seeing truth reflected,
For she is hungry too.

You don’t fear me,
You fear the world.
You fear losing,
You fear losing this grip,
And so you let them grip your throat,
Tighter.

But that’s OK,
You can’t hide from me like you do from them,
And soon I will...

We all do win,
We all do lose,
The schedule differs,
But the outcomes do not.

Up into the sky,
Or down onto cement we are thrown,
Or throw ourselves,
Euphoria or suffering,
So pure you shudder at each moment felt.

And so,
I hear it’s good to have friends,
They give you anchor when you're yanked by circumstance,
When life's torn into you like a butcher,
Your tears, like blood, spilling on the floor,
Their words —or so I hear —salvage what is still sacred.

You’re invited,
To the last holiday.

One,
Last,
Night of destruction.

One more chance to damage everything;
Your body and your mind,
Your friends and loved ones,
The Sun,
The Moon,
The Heaven and the earth.

This will be the last time,
And when it’s all set a blaze,
You too will burn with it.

Tomorrow,
Only memories will walk this place,
Like ghosts of what we’ve been,

Tomorrow you will rise,
Leaning on the crutch of experience,
With your head hung low,
But your soul soaring high,
With a want,
With a need,
With will,
To rebuild.

Change;
To leave that place of comfort,
Or familiar suffering,
Or mundane ticking of the clock.

Life of a floating log;
Soaked through,
A city of Moss,
You can do better.

I want to stop chasing,
My friends,
My enemies,
Random people on the streets.

I want to be happy with;
What I have,
What I know,
What I feel.

I want to catch up,
And then wait for others,
Because,
I know how loud it is in their minds.

I want to hold their hands,
And quiet the screams they won’t let others hear.

And on the other side there’s me,
Now,
Being you.

I knew,
I knew it would be my turn,
My turn,
Soon enough.

And now,
Here,
I finally understand,
All of what you said,
All of what you felt,
All of what you meant.

And here,
Now,
I understand clearly.