You're just a hood cat
living on the street
shacked up with a ***** rat
but always lands on her feet.

You arch your back and extend your claws
when you see him with his filthy ******
somehow he's got you on a tight leash
despite his roaming and quick release.

You still have nine lives
but none involve me
you visited all the dives
as far as the eye can see.

Under your constant spell and bewitched
as you purr content and whiskers twitched
always bringing you saucers of cream
days spent cat napping, watching you dream.

Don't answer when called
never listen or schooled
no time for interaction
or love and satisfaction.

Easily led but not easy to follow
the words you said now seem so hollow
and yet my door is always open
to take you in when you are broken.

My face is just a mask
if you want to find out the real me just ask
for I am an open book
once you enter you will be hooked
a page turner
as everything I write is to teach
so you can be my learner
and your ears I may reach.

From my mistakes
the truth I do take
and compile into verse
for this is my curse
a conduit of truth
a study in how to loose
everything and everyone
I have ever loved beneath the sun.

My walls of confidence have been breached
but at least too my heart was reached
for I can say I've loved and lived
every thought and feeling I now give
so you can read
but not heed
the life that I now live.

This poem was written to help others
for all my fellow sufferers
remember that in the darkest gloom
set inside your four walled room
will only last mere moments
it will all be over soon.

Remember all the good times
and why you are alive
this is what I have to do
just to survive.

What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
to live your life a little longer
as you grow older you also grow fonder
of this soul you were born under.

Now as the pain subsides
and the cloud slowly edges away
I think to myself I'm glad
I lived to see another day.

You don't give too much away
but that's ok
as I read between the lines
of what you do and do not say
slowly learning your ways
you tell me more in your silence
your pauses are like diamonds.

I remember every word you never said
every thought I ever had
every measured sigh
every repeated question without reply
I don't ask to receive
they mask what I need
my real quest is to achieve
a wordless answer
as your silence is golden.

The worthless cancer
a predatory disease
I know how much you fight
and yet never loose sight
of what's true and right
you simply amaze me
that even though I'm not with you
you're all that I can see
a vision of beauty
your pixie like smile
that nothing can defile
to your pixelated skin
viewed on a screen
with more beauty laid within.

Where as I feel the need to verbalise every thought
that enters my head
even the ones that make me look bad
reveal every feeling
so I'm completely honest in my dealing
OK, maybe not everything
I wouldn't want to scare you
with the thoughts that I think
I filter out my anxieties and only tell what is true
a direct link from my heart straight through
my racing thoughts are not what's important
its my pacing heart shaped *****
to which I have given you the keys
an instrument that you play
as you're a musician with such ease
with the words you do not say.

I took a trip to the edge of the Earth
where nobody else exists
it's as if the world just gave birth
to a man with a single wish
see I already used up two
on finding love and then you
so where do I go from here?
-- now I've reached the end
is there really a way past fear?
-- or should I just pretend
to live a life that's normal
as normal as life can be
I've already tried to warn you
not to follow me
I'm no teacher or prophet
I'm just a man with a single wish
as I've already lost it
already discarded my list
scattered all my dreams
so maybe I should be content
without all the dreaming
to know that I never meant
to hurt another being.

As I sit upon the edge
and look into the abyss
I will make a pledge
to not waste this last wish
so let me sail into the stars
in this one man boat
who knows how far
I only wish I brought a coat.

Scratch at my skin
bite upon my lip
feed off my sin
take a little sip.

Let me lust after
allow me to hate
feel my hunger
make me wait.

Guide my hands
across your body
your name you brand
I'm yours, use me.

Awaken my demons
ride the horseman
stir up my feelings
all just for fun.

Invade my soul
steal my innocence
tell me it's my fault
then let me repent.

Use me as a target
aim for my core
I've already marked it
not hard for you to score.

Take your scissors
cut into my heart
use precision
see what you can craft.

Slice me open
see how I bleed
leave me broken
watch me grieve.

Make me believe in
your honesty and trust
everything deceiving
everything is lost.

Poke me in the eye
stab me in the heart
tell me you will die
tear my world apart.

Take away my hope
sell all my dreams
in tears I soak
for you my fiend.