i earned
my
independence

i will
protect this
at all costs

so when
you threaten this

freedom

you
no longer
exist
to
me

it’s funny,
how much time
you think
you have

dot
dot
dot

did i make it awkward
or did you?

-me
--always me

convincing you
to love me
also
convincing myself
that
I deserve it

i have to be careful
so you don't think
i'm too broken

can you just
pour into me
the things i need
effortlessly
without hesitation
give me
all of you

fire
that consumes me
will
birth
new me
later

you are divine
my savior
i cherish you

love
love
LOVE
you

today
i give up
on trying
to make you mine

and
all that’s left
is the ashes

the moon pulls
our love's tide

today
your sea
flowed into me

you dug
a little deeper

your essence
became me

the void,
you

missing from my day

all of my distractions
have run away

a sad calm
albeit a reprieve

i just hope
you didn't really leave

kissing you was easy
bliss
a firework
the realization

"this is just the beginning"
nothing will ever be the same

lingering, savoring
"what happens now?"

--------everything
----------anything

i'm shedding
bad skin
learning to be
this new me

i guess you’re gone now
but you didn’t say goodbye
i guess i’ll move on now
but will always wonder why

if this is your love
then
i don't want it

maintaining the facade
at any cost
to allow
the free flow
beneath

i am a work of art
imperfect
in motion

my canvas changes with time
people leave marks
experiences in many hues

everyone sees me
only you understand

pull me into you
cover me
in your touches
smooth me out
make me purr

this year was ours
mine and yours

i am forever changed
i am new
i am ready

i know a love
like no other

i'm never
looking back

2 empty glasses
left on the table
remnants
of a moment
not too far past

my legs are kicking wildly
pushing me away
trying to get out from under
your oppression
your wringing of my soul

i know i went willingly
in the beginning
but now i have to stop it
before it's too late

the sadness
of your soul
still
haunts me

getting to know you in pieces
little glimpses
through your windows

these savored moments
the seeds
of the future

being content
never lasts long
when
you're faking it

you're like..
the opposite of love
in human form

this dream life
is starting to blend in
with my real life

i've slowly become trapped
i'm no longer me
grasping in the dark
for the latch that,
when opened,
will set me free

how do i say
i miss you
before
i have you

so, wait a minute.

are you leading me?
or am i leading you?

here
not here

with you
without you

joy
sorrow

can we be two things
at once?

this burning
wonder
does it bother you?

push you
like it pushes me?

do you even wonder?
how i am?

do you care?

are you still there?

...?

destined
for
wheel spinning
and
second guessing
what i said
and
awkwardly
ghosting
everyone

your words
weaving
sweet daydreams

fill me with
hope

until

the words
remain
just that.

i'm a secret
hiding in plain sight

you probably feel me
or hear me sneaking at night

i can give you a hint
if you really want to know

but most of the time
it's better to let me go

awake
asleep

i dream in both

escaping my reality

day
& night

our love
makes me a liar

tolerance, indifference, a fog
how easy it is
to slip back in
and forget
this burning for freedom

my feelings
are not a secret
so
they shouldn't be
a surprise

today
my peaceful river
reached a waterfall
i tumbled down
deep, deep
to the bottom

my sorrow
like the roaring noise
water's strength
water's howl

tomorrow
my river flows
wraps my mending heart
puts back in me
some hope

surrounded by warmth
a familiar feeling
lulls me into
defeat

my body
rejects my sadness
hardens me instead

you enjoyed me
when i was the fantasy
a memory
of a person long gone

i tried too hard
to be real
to you

so now
you're gone

love is time
and time
is precious

what's the rush, baby?
i was here before
i will
be here always

infinite stars
light my sky

hiding your darkness
hiding mine

what does this mean
for me and you
when i
still can’t tell the truth?

you know how
there are
both
no words
and
infinite words
for
us

i grew you
in my
heart
but
i had to
let you
go

i did try
and
unfortunately
you're not
the guy
so
bye.

compromise
has a price
that i have
overpaid