Three AM
When the eyes can close
But the minds don't shut
They say penguins can't fly
But they do
In her world, where we lived on clouds
Magic and Superpowers
Where people were real
And not.
The dark haired boy whose named she couldn't fix,
And light haired Liz, with her tall brother Will.
Sleeping in caves, hunger games style
Skipping through stories, shifting through worlds
Safe spaces,
Born within the mind
Distort reality when it hurts
'Escape realms'
Worlds change from fantasies to dreams
To insecurities, hatred and pain
But the ceiling remains the same
Dull
And plain.

Her soul's poetry
Written  in deep dark ink,
Gushing through her veins
Etched across her bones
A tale untold

The world rebounds on touching her surface
Nothing ever leaves a mark
Or atleast
That is what she makes believe

Breathing life ,
She walks into the crowded room
Hidden behind her jokes and laughter.
Comedy weaving up the tragedy .
Humour , the only link to her sanity.
She breathes
Broken,  unnoticed.


The world brushes past her touch
Blind.
Oblivoius to the struggle.
Her mind, toxic to her soul
Her skin, her veil.

Yet, her pillows talk of red swollen eyes
And endless nights
Gazing at the moon
Half hidden beneath the clouds
Reflecting light
To cloak the darkness seeping within .

She draws her blinders shut
While her guitar weeps her wounds
The cadence of misery
Into the world of rhythm, she slips.

When shall the masquerade end ?

She walks away
Into the fog
On her own

Brick after brick
A fortress she built
And locked within her own incarceration,
Short haired rapunzul
Afraid to let the knight reach within .
vows of saviours, never heed.

Her facade, flawless
Yet not deceiving those little eyes
Searching for the truth beneath the illusion.
Decrypting the inscrutable dissimulation.

To those pair of eyes,
Slowly fading into oblivion
Lost within it's own ceaseless blue
Seeking for the line between the black and grey.
Her voice , liberating .
Finding its way within the chaos,
Resuscitating.
Giving life to a long forgotten voice
which whispers,
"Take off the masque, You're beautiful. "

Whispers , whispers in my head..
"Walk along with me into the darkness , the darkness ..
Entrancing , enthralling ...
Give in , let go.. "

Floating into oblivion
Hope fading away
Pain peircing from within ,
Overwhelming rage..

Whispers, whispers in my head..
" Dont turn away , dont trust them,
   Walk alone , all alone ...
 Blow out that candle ,
Those shadows won't haunt you anymore "

Anger clawing into my bones,
Agony ripping my soul

The never ending spiral..

Whispers, whispers in my head ..
" Descend , descend.. "
" Deeper , Deeper .. "

Mirrors , mirrors all around
Monsters drawing in ..

Whispers, whispers in my head..
" Dont fight them, let your reflections remain.. "

Fear rooting me
Clutching me tight..
I shriek, until my lungs give out
Terror, gripping my throat ..

Whispers , whispers in my head..

" Shhh , dear
There's the blade ."

Whispers, whispers in my head..

" ....Sweet , sweet death  ..."

She dug my grave
And I'm buried alive
I screamed and choked ,
Silt in my throat .
Every breath I take is her toxic smoke
She clawed through me ,
Into my soul .
I fought for light,
A gleam of hope
And she hurled me into her void.
Her ears ***** up to every monster's call.

Her waves engulfed me,
And now I drown in her sea.
I live in her shell .
She shall never bend
And so shall i never blend . .

Her wrath forever shone ,
in those bloodshot eyes.
Ice cold daggers in my chest.
Her hunger never fed,
Craving for my flesh .
Her burns charred my skin
Her words, poison in my tongue .

Vicious torment in eternal hell
Utter despair, a mutual friend
And self harm, her anesthetic .

From beneath Satan's abode
I cry to thee
Wake me up
From this ceaseless dream

Yet, Dawn shall never come
And this war shall never end.
For her blood runs in my veins
And her fury in my bones ..

Was it so wrong
to have traced those metal blades across her skin ?
Soft strokes, sharp curves on that coarse canvas of hers,
Carving out her ache ..
Was it so wrong
to have let those crimson drops adorn her scarred abstract ?

Whispered into the ears that shall never listen

And blown away along with the piles of withered autumn leaves..

I wove a blackhole
With the feeble threads of hatred and love
And in its abyss,
I found you..

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind,
I wandered into the wild woods of your evanescent existence.
Bygone and buried deep, yet perpetual.

Are you a fading truth or a subconscious lie?
A doleful tale of a better life.
I stray past your stygian rivers , overflowing with the dolour of my heart.
And my soul, eternally haunted by the shadows of your life;
Or is it my hallucination,
A recurring mirage..

Oh Monster,
     That lives inside of me,
             Devour the demons that drown me ..

Beneath that smile lies the soul that suffers in silence ..

The ink flows,
                               Word after word,
                As my thoughts fill with wishes of who I'd want to be.
      
                             Yet, I know I shall never be.
          
                      For I'm flawed beyond repair,
                               My sins cling to me,
                                   As red as bloodstains shall ever be.
            As I long for the perfection I shall never attain ,
                     The explicit truth strikes me,
                I plunge into chasms of darkness,
                        Infinite spaces of void and emptiness,
            
               Yet, I strive to let the light in me,
                       Devour the demons that surround me ..
        
            I soar, my wings spread wide,
                        From the ashes of my despair.
            My darkness brings out the light in me,
                   And my flaws shape me into perfection.

                           It dawns on me that,
                                  If I were ...
                              Shall never be.
                     Yet I stand with my head held high,
                                For I am who I am,
                            And I am proud to be ..

As I am chased across this meaningless journey,
                   Tired of the duplicity of life,
           Wounds from the past open up
                 The inescapable past...
                         Haunting me..
       The reverberating pain, the despair...
                        Sinking into me ...
       The seeds of desolation are sown deep inside of me,
            The wounds of life, the ineludable truth ,
                          And the Bandages ..
         The bandages that sealed them away,
    The bandages that hid them in the blackest pits of my heart ..

But now, they are torn apart ..
And the wounds sprung up
And I bend myself in remorse and beg for solace ..

Yet I continue along this painful path ,
Seeking for the sole purpose of my journey,
Redemption ..

A spark was born into the world,
In the darkest of shadows,
Abandoned, uncared for.
  The birth of life with death ..
The coldest of the winds blew
And the auburn leaves quivered,
As the two hooded figures approached..
   One taller than the other,
Claded in black, swaying ..
His eyes, two pits of horrifying darkness,
The utter desolation..
And his scythe by his side...
    The other, swift and elegant,
The cold reverberating through him,
His eyes, empty, void, numb
And yet more terrifying..
    The tallest of them paused,
Pacing towards the aura of life
Within the explicit darkness..
His friend strode by,
For he waits for none ...
    Alone in the dark woods,
Stood the taller of the two
And held within his hands,
The light that had drawn him;
Life wrapped in a cloak ..
    The azure in her eyes pierced
through his pits of darkness ..
He knew he shouldn't feel again,
That he needed to let go ..
  For the darkness allured even the purest of hearts,
But as we often fail to realise, light allures the darkness too ...
    As her eyes stared into his, unblinking,
So fragile yet so fierce, He was rooted ..
For she had awakened the soul in him,
Long dead, rotten ...
As he held her tight, staring at the moonlit sky,
He wished that his friend shall never return ..

Eves of love and laughter passed by,
The other friend was almost forgotten ..

That night, as she held his hands, while they watched the beautiful pearls that lit the sky ..
Dread filled him as it had never before,
For he felt his presence, closer and closer,
His friend was coming ...
  
He held her tight,
The night became the coldest of winter nights ..
The friend stood there,
The time had come ...
He begged for mercy, but those bitter eyes knew none.
The fate was decided and the choices made,
The taller of the friends stood up,
Raised his scythe and striked ...
                  Au revoir
And he walked away, ****** and broken.
He shut himself into the darkness,
Chained his soul so as to never break free,
He vowed not to feel again ..
The azure in her eyes buried deep,
Along with his despair ..
      For this was who he was,
   Death, the despicable death ..

He waited for his friend to arrive,
The life of another was to be taken.
He waited ...
         For he was Death,
         And Death waits for Time,
         But Time waits for none ...

I sat across the river of misery,
And stared at the moon that loved thee..
The ocean of blue that fills ur eyes
Had once drowned my heart with waves of love...
Now as I drift through the oblivion...
Those eyes tear me apart....
And the debris of my heart remains,
Scattered into the emptiness...
Along with me,
suffering the fate of loneliness.....

Tears run down my cheeks
As I watch the flames swallow my words..
The words which I wrote to burn..
Wishing for the sorrow to burn with it..

As I gaze at flames dancing,
Ur eyes flash before me.
The last glance before I left
Not knowing it was goodbye..

The words I forgot to say..
The words I kept for later..
Thinking we had forever....

And now I wish I had one last moment ...
For the goodbye I never said ..
For the smile that didn't play on my lips ..

As the flames devour the last bit of my words
As the last tear drops,
I say,
Adieu, my friend
Adieu...

Don't let your demons savour the taste of your every thought..
Don't let your love for black take you to the abyss of darkness..
Don't let your love for blue plunge you into misery..
Don't let the beautiful night sky make you oblivious to the day..
Don't dream with the moon that hides within it the cadence of melancholy..
Don't be the artist who paints her life with shades of death..
Don't be the poet who writes of love with hatred..
Don't be me...

Oh Gravity,
Take me with you
Void me of all emotions
Oh Gravity,
Let me free
Detach me from these strings
Break the chains that bind me
Oh Gravity,
Help me forget
Give me a moment of peace
Oh Gravity,
Devour the melancholy in me
Drown me in your emptiness
Oh Gravity,
Put out the fire in me
Erase the darkness within me
Pull me away from these shadows into the world of light
Oh Gravity,
Let me sink
Let me disappear
Oh Gravity,
Take me away from here...