When i looked in your eyes you said you saw mine staring back at you. But that was a lie. You held me when I cried and I believed the sincerity in your sweet innocence and honesty. But that was also a lie. When you held me at night and told me everything was going to be fine and made my heart beat to sounds of your drum for once I believed you. And in future thoughts hoped to be with you. You have a charismatic aura that radiated kindness and I know you never meant to hurt this damaged heart and wanted to splint it up with your kind gestures and take me under your also broken wing but those eyes you
Claimed to see weren't mine. They were hers and that should have been fine. But this heartbreak seems to be a different kind. The kind that hits hard.  because hurt was never the intention but your heart beats for her and always will and that's something you failed to mention. I wanted to stay in those unfamiliar arms and believe that if I tried hard enough I could have you. But I guess when you wanted me to give everything up that was just a fantasy of getting your heart out of a limbonic routine. And when you said you might be able to love me that was a lie. But there was real truth when I said that you are a mental magician. Someone who's heart is really full of love just not for this person. So I am forced to forgive you for your heart that's too big for two. And I want you to know that I fully forgive you. I'm only cynical because I want someone to feel for me the way that you do. She's a beautiful lucky girl and she deserves what you give. And I want you to know your a person who helped me remain wanting to live. I have a love hate relationship now that our escapades have quit. But im also sorry your heart had to bear all this ****. Because all I needed was someone to understand me and you did. I thank you for teaching me many new things. But most importantly you made me believe I could be happy again.

When I look into your eyes there are tiny crevices like tiny trap doors. These doors lead to hidden passages that have access to your innocently desensitized soul. You've been tampered and taunted with life's beautiful lessons that make eAch day seem like an impossible place but mentally you had a choice to make. And I know you think that the fork in the road is going to turn down another dead end and your stuck  inside your head again but I want you to remember that I will always try and be your realist friend. And I knew this when we had experienced those real conversions on my bed. I want lift the pain from your heart and heal the scars they've left but that's not the way god intended. It Amazes me that when I look at the sky I see only black with little glimmers of hope and you still look at it with destiny inside and predetermined events of undiscovered hope.  . And that makes me feel special to know you and your healing me with your own severed timeline. As each new door is revealed your eyes continue to shine with innocence that you think can't still exist. For you my best of friend have kept me sane and help me want to breathe again. You showed me that love can still be real even when your struggles are hard and it's foggy where there should be light at the end. So forever I will picture those eyes staring back and see a beautiful little kid. And I know you hate that your younger then others with more knowledge then most but you should see this is the best of your qualities exposed. Your a kind hearted wanderer that wants to finally plant his feet but it seems your stuck and cannot grow because the roots are deep and your dreams can get drowned out by each mind altering memory. But when your mind is altered you always still manage to say the same thing. "Please don't say sorry and just talk to me." Because burdens are held on your back that should have already broken from straws that strike when your spirits had been previously broken. But you still manage to take my problems and make them your own. And you do this without making me feel like it's a subconscious chore. For no other motive then to keep me happy when I'm used to these words to keep score. And that makes you more special then anyone iv been able to know before.

For him.

Just having you makes me breathe easier and see clearer. Your the calm in the storm and shore on my horizon.    

Your my hit of cigarette after a caffeine drip and my shot of whisky when the sun goes down and so follows my sanity.

Your my understanding and my lack of reasoning and you are my only reason.

Your the ground I can land on when I fall into your heart and don't know if feeling it's thumping makes me feel more alive or more absent in life. and your the hand that I allow to pick me up when only myself brings me down just knowing you exist makes me feel like your around.

I hold a piece of you that you will never understand and with our misunderstandings we find our common bindings.

Tangled together in webs that weave, a different pattern then I thought I'd see.

Because you are the darkest light creating Crimson memories. And this awakening will be the death of me.

The death of the darkness I wanted to rely on overtaking who I was supposed to be.

Which was no one. And for once I allow your heart to hold on. To take me away and let everything go. Every time my rich heart beats it will know. It can be for you forever more.

Roots grow from within you, planting me in love.

You don't completely know who you are; quite frankly I don't either.
Yet love is where
my mind takes me.
Making me wonder
if love is not knowing
of the unknown...
Is that where you are?
the unknown?
an alchemical entity,
an endless cosmo
an introspective meditation; reverberations vibrating our physical form as we combine souls..
    Then
    i ponder
                      you
then
I ponder
                       me...
and suddenly...
I find myself submerged in you
not knowing how to swim.