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1.5k · Jun 2015
mind diarrhea
Teczboi Jun 2015
as i approach 50 I think
how did this happen...me getting old I mean.
I know the alternative is not that appealing...
but perhaps a granting of my own personal groundhog day is a worthy wish....it doesn't matter which.
I could craft most any day of my life into something spectacular!
Is that wisdom?
After almost half a century, I've surmised to be suspended in time the best I could ask for? well maybe, perhaps then I could amend all my imperfections... reform all the mistakes I've made and re-emerge a better man...
just now it occurs to me...this could be my groundhog moment...the epiphany that the next 50 years brings me living a life well thought... more compassionate, more open, more giving, more alive!
....more likely, just more use of adult diapers...
these thoughts occurred to me in 2012, as I contemplated my impending birth date.
864 · Jun 2015
hi ho
Teczboi Jun 2015
is this it...
my rush to an 8x8 cubicle
9 hours of mind numbing minutiae
my penance for a manicured, 4 bedroom, 3 level slice of suburban heaven
then my mind reviews all I've seen in my life
and I say
small price to pay.
One particularly dreadful morning on my way to work, as my bus hurtled at 70mph down the packed freeway, I wrote this.
543 · Jun 2015
Happy Birthday
Teczboi Jun 2015
That day, she came to this world my version of perfect, formed from clay
Blonde hair, pink skin, blue eyes
Now I bask in your gaze, relish your smile
Hunger for your kiss as our hands entwine
The soft of your skin as it touches mine
Sense the thump of your heart as I hold you tight
The warmth of your exhale on our pillow at night..
and I can't help but think...it was my Happy Birthday
Written on the occasion of my wife's 27th birthday
403 · Jun 2015
Time
Teczboi Jun 2015
...it is eternal and will not be deferred
when we would be this, or that
it shows us who we really are
it salves the deepest of wounds
in those who are strong
foolish ones never invest in its power.
399 · Jun 2015
Untitled
Teczboi Jun 2015
A feeling that life should never end...or maybe not knowing where to begin.
A thought, passion ecstasy, bliss, but why does my heart ache like this.
Rushing, consuming, exploding, satisfaction...yet it ends with a pained reaction.
Love is the spring of life we all draw upon, it's for us to nurture that life, and see what it becomes.
387 · Jun 2015
Us
Teczboi Jun 2015
Us
I hear your laugh and my soul smiles
the anticipation.... is electric

what we find is to be cherished
and desired
and remembered
and forgotten
and buried
and lived
and hidden
and expressed...and us
356 · Jun 2015
Beauty
Teczboi Jun 2015
quiet moments
beauty
thoughts of you.
The caress of a breeze in the park...image of my head in your lap in the shade
Painfully watching each minute of our hour tick away.
your beauty compels me..pleases me..pulls me..sets me free
316 · Jun 2015
Thoughts of you
Teczboi Jun 2015
sitting alone except for thoughts of you...life.
rain falling, winds gentle breeze caressing, and the sounds of the city.
A child's voice in the distance, yelling, screaming... for joy.
The rumble of a cars engine, the hiss of wet wheels on pavement. a cricket chirps beckoning its lover.
The rain always makes me melancholy, reflective, searching for meaning. Just as abruptly as it starts, the rain ends. The sun appears, peeking through at first as if to take a look at us, then pushes past the clouds.
Life returns to the streets, a cat chases a grasshopper, children roll through on bicycles, their tiny heads bobbing, helmet encased. Birds playfully flit from tree to tree, performing their love ritual...landing talking, then chasing again. Bees drink incessantly, swiftly moving flower to flower, not seeming to notice as children playing brush against the bushes. The children stop to watch as a humming bird appears, whizzing in pausing, vanishing. Ducks in perfect formation honk sounding their commands.
The drum beat of life marches on.
As the sun sets, the clouds return
I am alone...except for thoughts of you.
302 · Jun 2015
1
Teczboi Jun 2015
1
So here I sit
10 times removed from all my sadness
looking upon what would be the image of my happiness.
I reach for something tangible...to convince myself this is real
As if she reads my mind she extends her hand
it touches m... in ways only she understands.
The language we speak known only to lovers.
Yes....we are engaged in that blissful dance
in a place where time enjoins us
a co-conspirator...as we become...one

— The End —