He'd been closing more doors
than the ones they'd agreed,

so she emptied the drawers
and she readied to leave,

when he asked her for why
she said look at that sky,

that's the breathing space
my lifetime needs.

I'm not trying to romanticize something that is not there. The truth is, I don't even remember half of the conversations we had. I don't recall the feeling that came along when I'm talking to you. Was I happy? Was I sad? Did I even feel something? But then there's this space thudding in my chest, forming in my gut and it says that I miss you. I don't know why. I don't know how. I just do. It just seems like the missing puzzle piece in me is screaming. And it's screaming you.

I can taste your bones in my mouth
decadent, exhausted

you peeled my skin back
and watched me burn brighter than the skyline on fire
pierced reds pulsing pitch

I left the morning with my head on your pavement
staring into nothing

and that's the thing. you saw me as this angel, this person who could make anything better. you put me so high up with all your belief and trust and thinking i have this sweet, tender heart yet still somehow fought all my demons down and became whole again. i'm sorry, but i didn't. i never changed, i just wished i could. you were this great girl who beat back her own darkness and thought you could hold me up high, proof it was going to be worth it, proof relief and healing came. it doesn't.

All you ever did was believe in me and all I ever did was this. I am so ******* sorry. You thought I had changed and healed and you thought that I could keep getting better, but I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't. Jesus ******* hell, girl. Why did I ever let you believe in me....why did I ever let you like me?

You wrote about me , and it hurts. I've never been so lonesome in my life as I am now. Its eternal despair, and the pain rumbles in my lungs and I soon lose feeling of my knuckles and finger tips. Youre gone, but your friends say you're at home watching Netflix and lounging in your lazy underwear and bra
I know you've always been the one to let go
And for some reason that fear stood up close by
I pray to the moon
And I begged cupid to go pay you a visit
And begged the stars to die out so I could say something cheesy like "your eyes are brighter than any substance the stars may produce"
Slowly my heart breaks more and more each and every hour, every minute of my day, every drum and every 80s break up song slowly starts to sting
Darling I'm in despair and random thoughts that pop up in my head like a tour bus and really bright Vegas lights, or a Scottish Coffee shop, or like the coupons in your favorite cigarette, or the nights my friends saw me kissing you and they started to cheer, they screamed and I slightly looked away, but you grabbed me by plain black T-shirts and kissed me harder, until your lip scabbed up and my lips became sore

' Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you '

' And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you. and in the day, everything's complex, There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

My darling