Respect a woman,
respect a child.
Respect a man,
respect the wild.

there's a tumbleweed ricocheting off the barren walls of my heart.
there's a tumbleweed rustling within the bleak walls of my brain.
I am breaking apart,
I am going insane,
No,
I simply am going.
I am going,
I am gone.

It wasn't my plan to house a barren land
within my heart, you see.
As I walked all year, and fell in love,
everything was slowly taken from me.

It wasn't my plan to store a broken voice
within my throat, you see.
As I spoke all year, and shared my love,
I realized you never listened to me.

And now my feet are covered in dust,
it's desert in my mind and heart,
I am left behind, sad and lost,
but it's now that you want to restart.

Do flowers have the choice to grow?
Do we choose? Do you know?
Do branches have the choice whether to bend of break?
Is this life's course? Is it too much to take?
Does the wind choose when to blow?
Does it get to choose when to stand still?
Do leaves drop at their own free will?
Do trees long to age past our time?
Where are answers to these questions of mine?

Look inside, look around.
From Earth to sky back to the ground.

My body is slowly awakening with pins and needles.
My mind is conscious with memories reeling the good in reverse while the bad forces itself forward, jamming my heart, body and soul with the truth.  
I am light. I am floating. Yet I am heavier than the air around me. Afloat with hope bound to be punctured.
I exist through the motions of my day, clawing for healing, love and strength.

December is like trudging through each weekend's heavy snowfall
And I'm sitting here aching, awaiting the healing, awaiting your call.

December is like hanging onto a rope too tightly,
When I loosen my grip, you tug again, nightly.

December has me at the end of a yo-yo string,
You drop me and I bounce between yes's and no's that sting.

December did not bring happy holidays this year,
I'm forcing smiles through the inevitable cheer.

December is my broken my heart, a heavy snowfall,
I'm aching, I'm healing, I'm forgetting your call.

my breath sends clouds back to the sky
while bitter winds pull tears from my eyes.