Happiness begins with blessings from heavens above,
Happiness begins with all that I prayed for,
Happiness begins with what every man dreams of,
My true happiness only begins with your love...

Happiness begins with sacrificing my whole life,
Happiness begins with bidding loneliness goodbye;
Happiness begins with crying all my tears away,
My true happiness only begins with you everyday...

It's no question true happiness may not sound real,
Something very hard to wait for and keep still,
But you are the one who gave me something to feel,
True happiness began with you as the Lord revealed.

Happiness begins with declaring your arms my home,
Happiness begins with no need in being all alone,
Happiness begins with companion who believes in us,
My true happiness only begins with earning your trust...

It's no question true happiness may not sound real,
Something very hard to wait for and keep still,
But you are the one who gave me something to feel,
True happiness began with you as the Lord revealed.

Happiness begins with a virtuous woman with grace,
Happiness begins with putting a smile your pretty face,
Happiness begins with finally finding soulmate like you,
My true happiness only begins with saying I do...

Happiness begins saying I do...

Mmm, baby, yes, I do...

The victims deal with the abuse.
Then when they get enough courage to leave, they have to go into hiding.
Afraid every-time the phone goes off, that it is them.
Every-time someone knocks on the door, they wonder.
Have I been found? Will I have to move again?
When they go out, they look behind them constantly making sure no one is following them.
Careful to post any information on social media, so they cannot be cyber stalked by them.
A friend request on the internet makes them suspicious, wondering if that could be them.
Someone who is friendly sets off alarms, wondering if somehow this person could be related to their abuser.
The victim did not ask for any of this yet, the only way to survive is to leave and hide.
Forever wondering if they will be found and put through the abuse again.

They tried to build me.
They tried to build me so I didn't fall again.
They kept failing though.
I kept crashing back down.
They started getting tired.
Because they had their own life, they had to build up other people who meant more to them.
I was left, crashing slowly each day.
Until I became something I never thought I would be.
Then he reached out, and I started building myself up.
But I would stumble and fall.
He would stay and watch me.
Making sure I didn't fall to far.
He was there at night when I needed someone.
He counts the days with me.
I have to admit, at first I thought he would leave.
If he hadn't been here.
I don't think I would be where I am.
Slowly building myself up every-day.
Slowly becoming who I want to be.

I look for you in everyone.
Because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
Yes, I look for you in everyone.
So no one else can do, what you did to me.
If someday I run into you, don't expect me to say sorry for speaking up.
Don't expect a hug, because you don't deserve feeling my warmth.
Don't expect me to listen to you, when you try to tell me, that you did nothing.
I don't want you to even admit you did anything, because I know what happened.
I don't need anything from you, leave me alone.
Please, don't look for me, don't knock on my door.
Please, don't reach out.
The only thing you need to know is that I'm doing fine without you.
The only thing you need to know is that you did not keep me down.
The only thing you will find, is a different girl.
A girl who doesn't let people do what you did.
You have taken enough from me.
No, I don't forgive you.

It happened one day when i was in my room.
I was watching a movie, and this girl was self-harming.
I went back to this video a few times.
She looked happy, the truth is, she probably wasn't.
After getting deeper into videos, movies, and blogs.
It sounded like a good release to my pain i was going through at the time.
So i watched the movie once again and did what she had done.
Then i did it again.
It became an every-day thing i did.
Then i stopped.
Telling myself to stop.
Stop.
I started again.
I reached out to a family member, and he knew.
He asked to take pictures of my wrists.
He said no one would find out.
He told me that it would be our secret.
He grabbed my wrists one time and I pushed him away uncomfortable.
He hid my secret from everyone.
Days, weeks, months, 1 year had passed.
Another year had gone by.
Until it turned into 3 years.
Then i stopped once again, thinking that I would relapse again.
I got to 20 days.
Until it turned into months.

Is it alright if I sit alone?
Is it alright if I sit alone, here with my cd's?
Is it alright if I sing the lyrics under my breathe, so no one can hear
Is it alright if I sit alone all day?
Because I need some quiet today.
Is it alright if after I have grown tired of listening to my cd's if I watch some T.V.?
Is it alright if while I watch T.V. I eat junk food and have a cheat day.
Is it alright if I sit alone.
Because when I am alone, I come up with the greatest ideas.
Because when I am alone, I have words flowing through my head for my next poem.
Tomorrow though we will sit together and do all these things.
But today may I sit alone?

========================
her smile burst like bubble gum
her cheeks smell as queen of the night
her face glow like the morning sun
o my sweet child, you entwined me like Jasmine

~~~Jawahar Gupta~~~